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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

kids sharing housework/responsibilities

13 replies

happy2bhomely · 01/06/2011 13:40

Just wondered how much everyone's Dc's do for themselves and to help in the home. Chatting to another mum, she asked how I 'manage' with 4. I said that the older 2 (10 and 7) both make beds, tidy own rooms, get themselves dressed. They shower themselves, make breakfast and snacks and are pretty much independent. They take rubbish out, wash up every week night(for pocket money) and sometimes hang washing out. They pack their own lunchboxes, (I check them)walk to school(5 minute walk, one road with lollipop lady) and do their homework without close supervision. The 3yr old makes a good attempt at making her bed, she takes her dinner plate out, dresses herself etc. Even the youngest (15 months) puts his toys away (with help) fetches nappies and other simple things! She looked horrified and said "well what exactly do you do then?" She has twin 7 yr old girls and said she brushes their teeth, gets them dressed every morning, washes their hands and faces after eating, baths them, puts them into pj's, tidy's rooms etc. I do this with the babies of course. I said she was making work for herself and maybe she should encourage them to do more for themselves (She did ask how I managed after all!) She said that I was unreasonable expecting so much from 'little ones' and they must feel very uncared for! I wasn't brave enough after that to tell her that every Saturday morning is 'big clean', where all of us blitz the place for 1 hr before enjoying our weekend! The only jobs I don't think are fair to expect them to do is cleaning out the pets, cleaning the oven/fridge or cleaning the toilet. What does everyone think? I think I'm making them responsible and considerate people. Do you really think they don't feel 'looked after'? BTW, We have plenty of fun together and they know that their efforts are appreciated.

OP posts:
Mabelface · 01/06/2011 13:43

Course they're looked after! It just means that when your kids leave home, they'll know how to look after themselves and what is involved in running a home. Hers, however, will have the shock of their lives. I've also got 4 kids, and we all muck in with everything, including cleaning the toilet. Wink

GypsyMoth · 01/06/2011 13:43

i have 5dc and pretty much do the same. 3 year old attwmpts his bed

my ds is 12 and cleans the toilet!! he also does kitchen floor

my dd's are 16 and 14 and can run the house if left to it i guess. they all seem to like being able to do this stuff. i find it odd that kids are NOT expected to help

Goodynuff · 01/06/2011 13:44

OP, I am shocked at you! You know what is going to happen don't you?! You are going to end up with responsable young people who know what it takes to run a home and look after themselves! How very dare you Grin

maypole1 · 01/06/2011 13:44

I have a 5 and 11 year old and everything you said I would add to that list my older one loads the washing machine and is expect to get off to bed at the allotted time with out being asked

Op your my kind of mum

ben5 · 01/06/2011 13:45

i think you are right but i still have a scrub of my boys teeth but i used to be a dental nurse and i think soon ds1 will be left to his own devises! boys have to take plates to kitchen, tidy bedrooms and put underwear, pjs away once i've sorted them into piles! they are 5.5 and 7.5

troisgarcons · 01/06/2011 13:47

Children love responsibility and mirroring thir parents.

Quality time is just that, if you are enjoying yourselves and chatting whilst you are doing it then that's ok in my book.

I warn you though - no matter how helpful, once they hit teen years their bedrooms will smell of dead people and hamster cages. You wont venture in their without a gas mask and a shovel.

happy2bhomely · 01/06/2011 13:52

Thanks people! I knew I wasn't being wicked. I assumed everyone did the same, but have come across quite a few people recently who look at me like I'm a crazy slave driver. Even my Mum in law says I'm 'a little tough on them'. What, because I make them put their dirties in the basket and tell them to rinse out the bath when they've finished. Hmmm explains why DH thinks all of the above is 'woman's work' I suppose. Don't get me wrong, he does his share, but not without complaining.

OP posts:
Mabelface · 01/06/2011 13:52

Trois - I have one just coming out of that smell, and 2 just starting it.

happy2bhomely · 01/06/2011 14:02

Troisgarcons, don't say that! I will live in denial for a little while longer yet...my lovely children are not going to be like everyone else's. They are going to stay cute and helpful and bypass all of that because I'm just such a fab Mum and they wouldn't want to disappoint me. My children will be nothing like me and will never leave food to go mouldy under the bed, or leave underwear all over the floor or insist on covering the bad smells with lynx/impulse!

OP posts:
borderslass · 01/06/2011 14:05

With DD1 she was extremely helpful around the home from a very young age. DD2 wasn't no matter what we did but she hit 14 and became obsessed with cleanliness.

LordOfTheFlies · 01/06/2011 14:09

DD nearly 9 and DS 11 tidy their own rooms and beds.(after a fashion)
DS feeds the fish(his) I clean tank.
Dirty clothes in laundry.
He will do snacks/drinks for both
Both come to supermarket-usually one at a time for my sanity Grin.I want him housetrained so that my future daughter-in-law doesn't bring him back.
DD naturally housetrained preen

ipswichwitch · 01/06/2011 14:11

Grin at troisgarcons!!
you just described my brother's room to a t, when he was 14/15. the smell that came outta there was pungent enough to be bottled and sold to the MOD as a chemical weapon!!!!!!!

IgnoringTheChildren · 01/06/2011 14:37

I wonder how long the mum of 7 yo twins will be doing everything for them?! Shock Even my 3 yo DS1 attempts all of the things you listed for himself (although he does require supervision and a bit of assistance to ensure that his teeth get brushed properly!)

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