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AIBU?

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Original poster

To not know that you should say 'sorry' instead or 'pardon' if you want to sound posh?!

87 replies

joogle · 31/05/2011 17:16

I've just read this in a book about English culture I'm reading, didn't have any idea, I always thought "pardon?" was the most formal way of saying "what?"

OP posts:
Ormirian · 31/05/2011 21:17

Really posh is 'what?'

smileANDwave2000 · 31/05/2011 21:19

were are grown ups id tell anyone where to stick their advice if they corrected me in public how crass is that, we should be kind and considerate does not matter about the wording , i was taught its not what you say its HOW you say it.

Mrsdoasyouwouldbedoneby · 31/05/2011 21:24

It is utterly ridiculous to have language prejudices based on an invasion in 1066. FFS.

I was shocked to discover that we were peretty much French before this and that dear old Conker was the true line of Edward the fessor... well, the family trees are all higgledy Piggledy and very much mixed up anyway.

Was always taught to say, "don't say what say pardon"... so teach DC this... My daughter replied to me, "what did you say?"... I narrowed my eyes... She is evidently destined for greatness.

DreamsInBinary · 31/05/2011 21:38

Grin at those who shudder when hearing 'pardon'.

What happens upon seeing a poor person? Spontaneous vomit?

LynetteScavo · 31/05/2011 22:13

I am (relatively) posh and (relatively) poor.

Looking in the mirror can be (relatively) nauseating.

PedigreeChump · 31/05/2011 22:16

But "what?" is so frightfully rude! Confused

BelleDameSansMerci · 31/05/2011 22:19

Pedigree, but if you were really posh you wouldn't care... Grin

snice · 31/05/2011 22:31

it doesn't matter what you tell your children to say-all state school teachers seem to think pardon is correct. I've heard a few children told off quite forcefully for saying "what?"

mrswoodentop · 31/05/2011 22:34

Also if you were really posh you wouldn't think what was rude you would think pardon was rude!

5DollarShake · 31/05/2011 22:37

Grin at the shudderers.

IME, the word 'posh' has been misappropriated to mean middle class these days, as opposed to upper class aristocracy. As in, 'she's posh, she shops in Waitrose'.

Anandan · 31/05/2011 22:38

Shurely...
It's "What?" when oik has said something utterly frightful or unintelligible in a regional dialect.
One can say, "Sorry," as in, "Sorry, Mama is not available to choose napkin rings as she is still out riding."

whomovedmychocolate · 31/05/2011 22:46

Gosh do people really worry about this sort of thing?

I find that if I don't hear or understand the staff I don't worry because generally they are just banging on about mundane things anyway Grin

JoanofArgos · 01/06/2011 09:54

I don't think many people worry, it's just quite interesting.

I think, U or non-U, 'what' is pretty rude, although I wouldn't say 'pardon' either. I think I say 'sorry, what was that?' or 'can you say that again?', although now I'm thinking I'm not sure anymore.

ScroobiousPip · 01/06/2011 10:23

Grin at Hully. Made me splutter on my new world bubbly. But so true.

I felt like a right doozy the other day when I heard myself asking my nanny (the concept is worth a laugh in itself) to remind DS to say loo, not toilet. I mean, ffs, I know it doesn't matter but however much I've tried to escape the English class system (and seriously, I'm talking the other side of the world), I do shudder if hear toilet, serviette or pardon. There's no hope for me, is there? I may as well don a twin set and pearls and be done with it. Blush

FionaJT · 01/06/2011 10:30

Wow, I say most of the 'posh' versions mentioned on here rather than the 'common' ones. I must have been brought up better than I thought!

QueenofDreams · 01/06/2011 10:35

haha that's really funny. My mum has pretentions and always used to insist we say pardon, it's quite amusing how wrong she is! (I say sorry, but I didn't realise that was posh)

fedupofnamechanging · 01/06/2011 10:40

Love 'Watching the English'. Must retrieve my copy from my MIL at some point.

I have always said 'sorry' instead of pardon, but am not posh. I think that you just say what feels comfortable and it becomes habit over time.

Insert to the man who told you that the polite word is excuse me, you should have told him that it's polite not to correct someone else's manners, so you are both at fault Grin. Can't believe some people are so rude.

fedupofnamechanging · 01/06/2011 10:48

It's only sad middle class wannabes who worry about this stuff anyway.

CornflowerB · 01/06/2011 10:57

Napkin rings are totally non-U Grin

LadyShapes · 01/06/2011 11:27

Just because it's "middle class" to say toilet, pardon etc, doesn't make it BAD does it? And just because "upper class" people say what and loo doesn't make it RIGHT. It's just different, innit? Posh people saying "what" sounds terribly rude to me, and arrogant. I'd rather sound pathetically middle class. (Also, the word loo makes me shudder, it's so prim).

It does my head in the way people come on here going on about middle class people being so embarrassing. Most of us are working class/middle class - so embrace it! And the thought of a few poshos looking down their nose - well, they musn't have any manners at all if they do.

olderandwider · 01/06/2011 13:31

I don't like "pardon" but I do hate hearing small children say "what". It sounds rude and it just makes my hackles rise. Illogical I know.

LessonsinL · 01/06/2011 13:36

Watching the English is a lovely book but shouldn't be taken as gospel :) I know "what?" is meant to be posh, but it's bloody rude in my opinion!

I use chuck "please" on the end of most requests, as long as I'm polite, it tends to go a long way.

moonbells · 01/06/2011 13:43

This thread makes me Grin

Had big discussion on this subject when DS (now 3) started talking.
He is now sufficiently confused by everyone around him saying different things that if he doesn't hear, he will initially say, "What?" followed a second or two later by, "Sorry?" and I have to try not to laugh.

Blackcountryman12 · 12/10/2018 18:51

I have recently found this thread and I can't understand why some people think "what" (or eh? or whatever) sound rude. I think it can be a bit unfair calling someone "rude" just because they said something like "what" instead of "pardon". Surely, as long as a person is polite and says please, thank you or excuse me then why would it matter what they said if they didn't hear what someone said?

I usually say "sorry", "say again" or" you what, sorry". I never say "pardon" apart from when I burp (then it's usually "pardon me"). I don't really like "pardon" either, I find it a bit pretentious and formal, although I cringe when I hear "I beg your pardon", that sounds so stilted, stuffy and formal as well as haughty. I have only ever heard it when a person has been offended or shocked by what the other person has said. I think "what did you say" sounds better in that situation.

I don't think I have ever heard "I beg your pardon" said in the context of "sorry, what did you say" when someone genuinely didn't hear the other person. I also dislike the word napkin, I actually think it sounds more snobby and formal than serviette.

CSIblonde · 12/10/2018 20:48

Pardon is very lower middle class. Excuse me is middle class. Sorry is upper middle class. Upper class is what.