To think this about parents

[SunshineisSorry]

10 things that piss me off about parents and their children.

1. No, sorry, your pfb is not the centre of MY world and i have no desire to here about his new tooth/bf success or disaster/texture of its food etc ad nauseum.

1. Don't be bashing my ankles with your fecking phil and teds with a baby in the luggage compartment.

1. Do not please let your child come runnig up to my dog and put his face in my dogs face and scare the poor thing.

1. Having to sit at a table in a cafe after a family in which parents think its ok to have a table picnic and then just leave their shite behind for the staff to clear up

1. I am an adult, i do not want to have to rush what i say to you just so your child can tell you urgently that they have just found another stone/bit of paper/seen a bird

1. I dont want to have to smile sweetly while your children are being obnoxious and say things like, its nice to see them expressing themselves freely - it isn't, keep your brats under control in public

Oh.......fuck it, i cant think of ten.......im just no good at this sort of thing, feel free to add your own. Oh and please don't flame me, im joking innit.

No, 'spirited' is not cute, it's just a more polite way of saying 'naughty'

other side of argument.

Don't say "its ok" and smile if child is doing something I am trying to chastise them for.

Don't wind up excite my child to exploding point if you're sat behind us on a plane/bus/train for 3 minutes to show how nice you are and then ignore them when you get bored of it, or worse, start complaining loudly how kids these days...blah blah blah

sunshineissorry A bit of an out of date one from me, DD is now 17 months so am v. well versed with the changing of the nappy!

jumpingjackhash I know!! I wouldn't DREAM of suggesting some poor person change DD's nappy! But apparently I needed to learn the complexities

Ok, I do disagree with some of these, but I am totally with you VFVF! I have a friend who did this to both me and another friend when we were pregnant - it's bad enough that we have to change our own children's nappies without doing yours too!!

My cat was in my home first, in fact it's her home - if your child doesn't like it, don't bring your child here... I won't lock my cat away!

If your toddler does a poo in the park behind the trees bag it up and put it in the doggy bin! Human poo isn't magically exempt from being poo!

Ouchie! peanut.. I have sesame seeds in my keyboard, sometimes it takes longer to type. I can count, honestly.

Your child has germs. it licks windows, picks its nose and collects all manner of nasties from the garden. Please keep it away from my dogs and I as your child may contaminate us.

20. The school is a good school YOU chose to send your child to this school, it is by far the best school in the area so please stop comparing - it doesn't matter that the school doesn't have a climbing wall/dance studio/swimming pool - your child doesn't NEED to be sportswoman of the year at 5 and NO it really doesnt' matter if there are no medals given out on sportsday. And yes, there are limited places on the afterschool artcourse, your child has not be singled out because they havent been included, suck it up, they'll get to do recorder lessons and drive your neighbours nuts in no time at all

To assume just because you have a child you get priority over everyone else. i.e. queue jumping, rights to first choice of holiday dates, daily late collection from school because your other LO was asleep / needed a nappy change.
Many of the rest of the shoppers, workers, parents, etc. have children too and don't demand preferential treatment.
We all have the odd crisis and I'm as happy to make allowances as the next person, but some parents take the p### about their demands of rights because they have kids.

Rapaccioli - you are far more likely to get an infection from a child than you are an animal, i would much rather get a big slobbering kiss from a german shepherd (or even a dog!) than a snot filled "snog" from somone's baby, you just dont know WHERE they have been.

When on a train and you leave your child to look after your toddler opposite me to use the loo/get food/etc, don't get pissed off because I start chatting to your children who spoke to me first!

Or, the opposite, don't get peeved because I don't want to be responsible for your children when you've made no effort to chat to me during the two hour journey and then rudely demand that I watch them! If you'd asked politely I'd have actually said yes instead of pretending I can't hear you with my earphones on...

Well, the supposedly amusing and lighthearted tone of this thread has passed me right by. Never seen a child referred to as 'it' quite some many times in one thread.

Oooh, public transport...

Turn your freakin' mobile phone off, take your earplugs out, and TALK TO YOUR CHILD FFS!

If your child won't stay close enough to you whilst out in public, buy some reigns until they learn to do so.

And I don't wish to read about their bodily functions and your attempts at breastfeeding on facebook. That's what mumsnet is for.

Confused! wow!

ovenchips i would never refer to a child as an it if i wasn't doing it jokingly, i actually get uncomfortable when i dont know the sex of unborn children because i dont like calling them it. I do actually quite like kids really

I've got one...people letting little children answer the phone. Oh how terribly clever blardy annoying.

Saga My friend does this and O.M.G. it is annoying

"cough cough, rustle......crash as phone is dropped.....rustle........[mumbled]Hello"

"Hello X Can I talk to mummy please"

".............................................................................heavy breathing.............................."

"X? Can you hear me?"

"rustle rustle ...............Yes"

"Can I talk to mummy please?" I can hear mummy in the background talking to X about who is on the phone

"mmm..................yeah.....................................................heavy breathing................"

And on it goes until mummy finally takes the phone off her and raves about how well she talks on the phone now!

I have started saying "Is mummy busy? OK I will call her back.....bye!"

And then mummy rings me back and I play all innocent in assuming she was too busy to talk, and its a double win as now she is paying for the call :o

Number next: Your child may be tired, but he / she is still being a rude, bratty, pita. Tiredness is NOT an excuse for being rude, crude and thoroughly unattractive (lovely saying my late DSis used to us - so you cannot slate me for that otherwise you will feel bad about my DSis having died! )

If your small child has not yet been taught to walk to heel then keep it on a leash.

If your children are running riot in an inappropriate place (e.g. a shop which does not specifically cater for children*) and you are completely ignoring them, do not get annoyed and tell me it's not my place to chastise them, when I tell them to stop throwing the produce at each other etc. Yes, I agree that it's your job not mine, but you weren't doing it so someone had to step in.

• I originally typed "an adult shop" but thought that might give completely the wrong impression.

If I am in a supermarket at 10pm, it's because I do not want to listen to screaming toddlers whilst I shop, so take yours home and put them to bed, exactly where they should be at that time of night.

If I am in a coffee shop having a brew and reading the paper, I do not want your child jumping all over the sofa next to me, thank you very much. I've been there and done that and have no wish to do it again.

Yes yes they look really cute in tutu and wellies. Not cute enough for me to excuse you standing in the middle of the asile at Waitrose chatting to your friends whilst your be-tu tu'd offspring throw frozen peas at me.

They are NOT expressing their individuality and it will NOT crush their creativity if you tell them to STOPPIT.

BTW I will happily bounce anyone's baby on my knee. I loves babies.

Actually, that is another part of my phone rant too! I agree Madamdeathstare!

The same friend does also pass the phone over to her child as "she wants to talk to who is on the phone!" in a "oooooh isnt it cute" kind of way. No it isnt and if I wanted to talk to your DC I would have asked for her! What is wrong with doing what I do and sayind "Mummy is on the phone, wait a minute please" and ignoring them?!