to think MIL saying this on the day of our first anniversary is weird..

[Happylander]

Our first wedding anniversary was on Sunday and we were camping with my brother and his family. Anyway DH mother called him in morning saying happy anniversary. He didn't get voicemail message until much later due to poor signal etc and then sent a text saying pretty much that. MIL then sends a text around 10pm saying is he ignoring her and has he got the hump with her.

AIBU in thinking that is a weird thing to say anyway after he had explained no signal, didn't get message until late but also that expecting my DH to be calling her at 10pm while we are camping is strange but made even stranger by the fact it was our anniversary. We could have been having a romantic meal or something. We weren't though we drinking some booze after making jacket spuds on the Cobb

oooohhhh I am excited!! I have found you OP!! had half an eye out for you on here, and here you are!!

YANBU of course!!! (even if you were i would say you weren't LOL)

xxx

Lady Leni damn you guessed who I am LOL. I am waiting for the phone call...

Leni that's from her not you as you too far away

Oooh, well best of luck. I really hope she reads your email, absorbs it and recognises that her behviour needs to change.
If she does, please copy and paste the email here because that would be like gold dust! .
Sincerely hope this all irons out well...just curious, do you think the Ex had these issues too?

MIL said that ex never got on with the family and that ex was never keen to visit them. I initially thought what a miserable cow ex was but if MIL behaved like this then can sort of understand where she was coming from. In general though the ex was not liked by anyone nor did she like anyone for that matter so not really a reliable source if you get what I mean.

Whatever happens it will put an end to the seething simmering bit inside me and hopefully make it easier on the poor DH.

It's tricky isn't it. I have everything crossed for you

You are right to send this e-mail; better to do this than explode!

Just a little update......DH step-father called him to tell him the email was rude and disrespectful and that we should drop everything and change our plans whenever MIL says she is coming down. DH told him to f off amongst other things. What a cheek!
I feel I may get uninvited to his brothers wedding in September.

You are better off without her in your life for sure!
But DH oughtn't go to to this wedding if you ARE inivited really...

uninvited

His brothers are very close so I would never ask him to not go. However, I very much doubt DH would go if I was not invited. He said some strong stuff to his step-father and basically tried to tell him that he feels the same way in ref to what I wrote. Step-father did not want to listen...MIL is very much put on a pedestal especially by him and her other children.

I feel a bit bad because I have caused bother but I couldn't spend the rest of my life simmering away and putting up with that crap! Drop everything indeed...who does she think she is the sodding Queen!!

Great that DH is backing you up though. So many of these sorts of threads have the dh doing sod all to change the situation because he wants an easy life.

Happylander, I mean this in a good way but I think it may be possible that the first wife may not be the monster your mil makes her out to be.

Even if I were not biased against mils, I would have to say that your mil is most definitely being unreasonable here.
YOU ARE NOT BEING UNREASONABLE at all. It is pig ignorant for anybody to UNinvite anybody from their wedding, if you do get uninvited, your husband should not go either. You can thank your lucky stars that he supports you and I have a feeling that he will not go if you are UNinvited.

Er I don't feel bad at all now after DH telling me what mother said on the phone to him. Thank god DH put her straight. I'm bloody glad it's out in the open and I think DH sees her for what she is and can understand my views ref being told I am exactly like his ex. When he again asked about why she couldn't come down on Saturday she replied 'you don't dictate when we come down to you' FFS!

Wamster the ex isn't very nice however, I can see why she didn't want to spend time with her then MIL. I no longer want to spend anytime with her especially after the crap and lies she has just been spouting at my DH. It is sad for my DH as he feels in the middle to a degree but he is as pissed off as I am at them at the moment. Due to her recent behaviour regarding drink-driving, driving without a seatbelt and putting my DS in their car which they hadn't had MOT'd for 6 weeks as they thought it wouldn't pass, I no longer trust them to keep my DS safe or behave responsibly. Both DH and I have said we don't trust her to look after him so her only option was to come here and see him and that is now gone due todays outburst from her and her husband.

She thinks you shouldn't be deciding who gets to visit your house when? Mad. Hasn't she heard of invitations?
It's normal for the person whose house it is to decide when and if they have visitors.
With my relatives we'll often say "I'm free x date, can I come an see you?" or "can I see stay with you for a weekend in August?"
but we'd be quite happy to be told no it's not convenient.
Even my dad will happily tell me I can't visit as he has something planned already.

She isn't normal - plain to see.
However, you will never get her to see this, and you will always be the wrongdoer in her eyes, the one who has taken her son away from her.

Ah well.

Better off without her frankly - she sounds utterly toxic.