to think that people should marry for love?

[darleneoconnor]

I know people who've married for several reasons eg

-all their friends were doing it
-they wanted kids and felt that they should be married first
-pressure from parents
-they wanted to move in together but wouldn't without marrying
-so that parents aren't still next of kin
-they were already pregnant or had kids and wanted to 'legitimise' them
-that they felt they were getting old and if they didn't take the plunge they'd miss their chance

I'm not belittling these reasons but it does make the romantic side of me a little sad that just being overwhelmingly in love with someone else hasn't been the reason for marrying I've heard from anyone recently.

Reasons I married DH: I love him; I knew he would make a great father and a great husband; time was running out for me; he earns good money; most importantly I like his company.

All good reasons I think.

I have a good Indian friend, who was newly married when we first met. It was an arranged marriage - I was a bit surprised when they told me, but they were clearly happy. They're still together (25 years on).

You can marry for all sorts of reasons. It's how you live your married life that counts.

Everyone views a marriage differently, getting married didnt prove to my hubby that I loved him any more than I already did. He already knew how much I loved him.
Getting married is a very small part of a marriage whatever the reasons for getting hitched

'Why people marry is no business but their own.'

Bingo.

YABU.

Being overwhelmingly in love is often enough a very poor reason to marry.

Greenteapot, I hope you have a wonderful day and that MIL's ending is as peaceful and dignified as possible.

When I was a teenager, one of my mother's colleagues, a v. v. posh man, suggested she should be thinking about arranging my first marriage. Apparently in his circles the done thing was to marry 'well' the first time. (And then shag around, by the sounds of it. Seemed all very Edwardian country house.)

(At the time my mother and I giggled about it but in retrospect the idea seems to have some attraction...)

Because 'boyfriend' sound weird when I was the wrong side of 25
'Partner' sounds a bit clinical
'Lover' eek!
'Fiance' -nope
'Husband' nice ring to it
My aunt told me to refer to him as my current husband so that he doesn't get complacent
But really married for love after being together 9 years and although children weren't on the agenda at the time, I wouldn't have considered being unmarried and having babies.Not a popular view these days but What the Heck