To want my 2.5yo to talk

[clpsmum]

my middle child is 2yrs 5months and just does not talk and I dint know what to do. He can say a few words but most of the time he chides not to. He never ever strings words together and makes sentences, he doesn't say yes, no, please, thank you, his own name or anything you would expect him to be saying. Am I worrying over nothing or is it time to d take action?

I'd definitely agree that a visit to SALT would be wise at this point. They'll give you some tips and exercises to do and if there is a real problem they'll be able to spot it and take further action.

My ds2 is 2 as well and has 4 words (badly pronounced) and a few animal noises.

He's been in SALT since 12 months as he was tongue tied and had feeding issues. He's been seen by paeds and ENT and had the tongue tie operation but the consensus amongst HCPs is that the tongue tie would have caused a speech impediment but not a total lack of speech and such a limited range of sounds

His language and communication skills are normal to advanced so it's not a language delay either. Most of the HCP working with him feel there is an underlying processing disorder, which was probably being aggravated by the tongue tie but would have caused issues either way.

He's learning sign language now and since doing so his confidence is improving loads but speech is still very slow.

MonstaMunch..... very few speech problems are caused by a lack of interaction. In our case ds2 is spoken too constantly by us and his siblings and has been read to since he was a baby. My elder two talked at 7 and 8 months of age and were using complex sentences at 18 months, his understanding of language is fantastic, he can follow complex instructions, understand numbers to 5, knows his colours and shapes.... he just can't make the sounds needed to talk, despite over a year of SALT and an operation.

If only it was as simple as 'reading to him for an hour'

I didn't talk until I was three. Then my parents who were big in local politics (this was more than fifty years ago, I regret to say) pulled strings and got me into nursery school and that got me started - and my sister says that I haven't stopped since and as she has known me longer than anyone else now living she should know.

But OP, this needs attention. Now. Big-time. And if you can't engage in the sort of petty corruption my parents did then you must bang on doors till he gets the attention he needs, and don't take No for an answer. Good luck.

Second children are a lot slower to speak because a lot of the time it's not necessary because their older sibling will speak for them! "Yes he wants that one!" or "Now do that one..." etc.

Secondly you mentioned this is your middle son, so you obviously have a younger child who may be taking up a lot of the time which you had with the older one to sit and talk to them and wait for a response.

I suggest spending 15 mins a day alone with middle son and talking with him - ask him open ended questions, wait for him to give you the answers, encourage him with special things... Does he have something he likes doing like duplo or trains?

It won't do any harm to get him checked out by the speech therapist (I am one btw).

You don't need tog through your GP or HV - if you are concerned then you can self refer. You should be able to find the number for your local clinic by googling.

My second child spoke at 8 months of age.

dd and ds1 never speak for ds2 as they've been told not to, instead they get down to his level and ask slowly 'Do you want X [ds2]? Can you say X?'

God but I hate the assumptions those who've never experienced a SALT delay throw around Obviously we're all just idiots who don't talk to our children

There are lots of unhelpful notions about why children are late talkers. I'm sure those ideas are true in some cases, but should not be used for blanket generalisations.

SummerRain I'm not saying that there isn't a problem with the OP's kid, but you'd be surprised at how many people don't do the obvious first. I have a friend with two kids who'd had a string of foreign au pairs looking after her kids and couldn't understand why her 3 year old literally couldn't say much more than about 15 words.

She was about to drag him to the speech therapist and was making a huge fuss because the local doctor wouldn't refer her or there was a huge delay or something... I explained that my second one was slow to speak but that this technique really worked.

Amazingly with a bit of input from her, he was speaking full sentences within 2-3 months and actually enjoying speaking.

If there is a problem, the docs will check the obvious first too - so don't get offended when people are only trying to help. It doesn't endear people to help you or your child.

I don't move in circles where anybody has au pairs, much less foreign au pairs, much less a string of foreign au pairs. See what I mean about blanket generalisations?

Yes, the assumption that subsequent children talk later is a complete myth! Toddlers should innately be bursting to talk and communicate, and wouldn't really let their older siblings talk for them if all was well. You could spin it right round and say that surely they would be extra keen to join in the chatter going on around them. My ds2, my third child, has been the best talker of the lot, and I had thought my pfb was amazing. He has had several hundred words since around 15 months old, and is desperate to copy his sister and talk in as complex a way as possible.

And I have obviously had less time to direct attention at him due to having the other two. So no daily reading hour for him! Far from it

I just think some of these myths can be damaging, as they seem to obstruct people getting help and support, when they are based on little or no truth.

Surely it's better to have an assessment...nothing to lose if nothing's wrong, but if something IS wrong, however minor, the earlier you can intervene the better

Seek help - don't feel any guilt for what you have/have not done, it will not be down to lack of reading/attention. Can you afford to go private, it may be worth it.

Blanket generalisations irritate me as well. The HV hinted that DS was a late talker because I didn't talk enough to him.

I'm a primary school teacher. He had been read to every day since he was born. I took him to nursery rhyme time and we did all the rhymes at home as well. I spent over the odds on a stupid buggy that faced me so we could walk and talk, and I didn't drive so we did a lot of walking and talking. We don't watch much TV in our house. He is an only child and was a first grandchild so had a LOT of attention with people talking to him, singing to him, reading to him, etc.

Yet my child still didn't say a word til he was nearly two.

Some boys can be late talkers - DS started nursery at 2 yrs 3 months - at that point he had only 2 words "Mama" and "Dog". He just used to point at what he wanted or lead me over to it!

I was really worried about it - spoke to HV etc - she said that she had seen this before (mainly in boys) and that it often resolves itself, particularly if they are meeting their other milestones, however, if there is still an issue when they are approaching 3, then it is worth seeking expert advice.

After 3 months or so at nursery, DS speech came on really quickly and he was talking in sentences from 2 and a half. He is now in the top group in his class despite being a summer birthday. On the other hand, DD was completely different, talking in sentences by 18 months.

DD isn't saying anything yet, she is two at the end of the month. I talk to her, honest!

TBH I'm not that worried about it but I guess if it goes on for much longer I should do something.

I think there are some very strong reactions on here.

Apparently I didn't talk for ages, Some of DD1s friends didn't talk til they were over 2. They are fine now (nearly 4).

My twins (boys) are the same age and are slow to talk. They can both say a lot more than is evidenced by most as they will not perform (!) for the HV, but I had a chat with her the other day. She wasn't concerned at their 2 year check and said she will check back after the summer holidays - they are progressing well even if their language skills are mainly in twin-gibberish.

I am not concerned. They can make all the right sounds and understand what is being said to them. J is far more articulate than L, which doesn't surprise me as L has always been the laid back one!

I wish they would talk more though, the whinge when they can't even be bothered to say 'juice' to me is very grating!

Also - Lou222 - I know all the parenting books say that at 2 they should have between 100-200 words, but as my HV pointed out, there is a MASSIVE difference between just turned 2 and 2 years 11 months, in which time you should see a significant difference. I already have in 5.

My son is 22 months and has his first SALT appt. on Thursday. I asked my HV to refer him because he is a lot farther behind than his sister was at that age and it worries me. I figure it can't do any harm.

My HV asked if I wanted DC4 ref'd to SALT at this age. He was making lots of noises but wasnt using two words together or had much of a vocab.

I declined because his understanding was excellent. He could make a wide variety of sounds, he didnt have any apparent hearing difficulties, his eye contact was very good, he was sociable and enjoyed playing with his brothers.

I work in a child development team so was pretty confident he was fine.

If I had been worried I would have not hesitated in taking up her offer. There is no harm in having things checked out. The chances are, by the time you get an appt, he will be chatting away

My DC4 is now 3 and wont shut up. Its often the way but not always which is why you should get a check if you are concerned.