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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want DH to sit with me for a while

24 replies

kitkey · 28/05/2011 22:22

I know I may sound paranoid but I am 23 weeks pregnant and have been at work as a nurse for 14 hrs. On the way home I realise I haven't felt the baby move since 8am and I am paranoid about this. I get in and his parents are here sitting on one sofa (they are here until tuesday) and he is laid out on another. I have excused myself upstairs to bed and am trying to feel the baby move whilst lying in bed. The baby isn't moving and I am anxious but DH won't sit with me and talk to me as his parent will wonder what we are doing. I really dislike the in laws and hate them staying and this is making me more tetchy.

OP posts:
cjbartlett · 28/05/2011 22:23

I think I'd go to the hospital
if you're really worried?
Tell him to move up the sofa Sad
sounds stressful

fearnelinen · 28/05/2011 22:23

kitkey you ought to speak to someone about the baby. Can you call your MW?

I would go downstairs and tell them all you are worried, they should make him take notice.

TartyMcFarty · 28/05/2011 22:24

YANBU. Don't know what to suggest. He should know to do that!

cjbartlett · 28/05/2011 22:25

Why do you dislike them btw?
Is this your first child?
If so inlaw problems only get once once the baby is born
go and tell your dh how worried you are

TragicallyHip · 28/05/2011 22:26

I think if you are worried you should go to the hospital. Have you told him you are concerned?

Vallhala · 28/05/2011 22:26

No point in worrying yourself sick lovey, call your midwife. (Been there, done that, DD is now a healthy 14 yo). They won't mind and would rather you called than worried in silence.

Original poster
kitkey · 28/05/2011 22:27

They are not the sort of people to worry - they all think I am neurotic when pregnant (i suppose I am). I just can't relax with them here - I really dislike them.

OP posts:
Original poster
kitkey · 28/05/2011 22:29

No this is number 3 so not sure why so paranoid - been really busy at work today and not really sat down so trying to relax for an hour but want to sit on my normal sofa and watch a bit of trah.

OP posts:
duckdodgers · 28/05/2011 22:30

First and foremost of you are in any way worried about your baby go to the hospital.

But your attitude to your inlaws seems a bit odd, these are your DHs parents - unless of course theres more, maybe you could say why you dislike them for example?

Baby2b · 28/05/2011 22:30

kitkey have u tried things like having an ice cold drink. Or you could take a relaxing bath and focus on feeling movements.

Having the in laws staying is always stressful. It isn't as though it is too early for your dh to go to bed? I would focus on feeling movements yourself and then then having a chat about being supportive with your dh tomorrow. If you havn't felt movements by tomorrow morning then I would go to hospital. Remember the baby might have been moving when u were busy working.

BarryShitpeas · 28/05/2011 22:30

Babies often quieten when you are moving and busy but "wake up" when you lie down to rest.

Can you just lie quietly for 10 minutes and see if the baby moves then?

Then call mw if no movement.

Dp is being an arse- he should be with you.

Hope baby moves soon.

Baby2b · 28/05/2011 22:40

It's not neurotic if something doesn't seem right. Trust your instincts.

fearnelinen · 28/05/2011 22:41

Any movement yet?

ChippingIn · 28/05/2011 22:44

kitkey - I wouldn't wait anymore - I'd call your midwife now.

Sqee · 28/05/2011 22:44

Call your midwife. Also was baby very active last night? The wee one could be sleeping during the day then awake all night. My DS did this.

Try putting a bag of frozen peas on the side of your tummy you think baby is (only for a few seconds). I agree with laying still for a while.

Go poke DP and ask to speak to him for a second, Who cares what the ILs think!

Original poster
kitkey · 28/05/2011 22:46

Fil is ok but Mil is weird - she likes saying things to DH like" kitkey is stressed with the DCs" or "kitkey looks tired", "kitkey has lost too much weight", "how is kitkey going to manage a 3rd child" She doesn't like me telling her not to let the DCs do things - she lets them run wild and thinks I am uptight. We have 2 boys and this one is a girl -she thinks dislikes little girls and was always so happy that I had 2 little boys just like she did. I am so happy to be having a girl but she keeps making digs to the boys that girls are silly - in fact we was watching TV the other day and an advert for barbies came on and DS1 said they're silly they are for girls. The laptop has just been booted by the "silly" girl bump so thank goodness and thankyou, I feel better for the rant too.

OP posts:
Original poster
kitkey · 28/05/2011 22:50

Oh and DH still hasn't come up to see how I am. tut.

OP posts:
fearnelinen · 28/05/2011 22:57

MIL can bugger off. And DH needs to grow a pair Wink Tell 'im I said so!

Glad DD is getting her kick on again - maybe she's going to be feisty and not in the least bit silly! :)

Original poster
kitkey · 28/05/2011 22:58

She is having a right old wriggle now -such a relief feeling

OP posts:
Vallhala · 28/05/2011 23:00

What fear said. Get some rest, Kitkey, and ignore the buggers. Glad baby is moving now. :)

ChippingIn · 28/05/2011 23:03

kitkey - that's great!!

Try to get some sleep now (though she probably wont let you!!).

When the inlaws have gone home you need to have serious words with DH. Tell him that he is your husband and your kids Dad and when you need him, you need him - you DO NOT CARE what they think. Tell him that if his mother says anything else negative about girls she will not be welcome in your home, nor be allowed to see the boys. They are about to have a little sister it is disgusting she is behaving like that.

ReindeerBollocks · 28/05/2011 23:16

Glad your DD is wiggling. Send them (the ILs) home as soon as you can.

MumblingRagDoll · 28/05/2011 23:19

Oh good! Baby must have been lulled by your walking about at work!

I totally get what you mean about the Inlaws....mne come and fall asleep on my blinking sofa! SO rude! Go and sweat and snore on your own I say!

I hate it when you can't relax n your own home!

AgentZigzag · 28/05/2011 23:31

Smile the little minx giving you a scare like that.

Hopefully your ILs will be so taken with your DD they'll stop spouting shit.

Honestly, the things some people come out with.

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