...get back in touch with an old friend? More of a WWYD than an AIBU, I confess, but wanted to post here as no-one looks at the WWYD topic and I'd really appreciate a wide range of views.
Back story - had a v good friend, A, at university. Stayed in touch with A for a couple of years after uni, but we drifted apart after she left London. About 6 months after she left, I called A's mobile - as she was out with a group of people, she said she'd call back (which she didn't). I then sent a couple of quick texts (probably quite a few months later IIRC) but didn't hear anything back. Couldn't trace A via other friends through other mates as we didn't have a group of friends in common, it was just us (and sometimes one other girl, B) iyswim. Didn't want to seem overly stalky/not-taking-the-hint at the time, so let things drift. I wonder now whether I should've tried a bit harder - it's quite possible that she just forgot to call me back - maybe what I took to be a rejection was just her being really busy.
I've recently started spending a bit more time on Facebook (I've had a profile for ages, but never really used it - now that I'm at home with DS, I'm finding it really useful). Anyway, I sent a few friend requests out and when one of them, X, accepted, I was then able to see his friends list and saw A and B on it. (X was B's friend at uni BTW).
I sent both A and B a friend request. (I sent a quick message with the request explaining the fact that I'd got married, and included my maiden name, so it's obvious that I'm not some random stranger).
B accepted and we exchanged a couple of messages.
I haven't heard anything back from A. However, I can see that she's commented on other people's walls, so she's clearly been on FB. She's either not noticed the message and friend request (which seems a bit unlikely, given FB's penchant for putting big red dots on your profile to alert you to new stuff) or she's deliberately chosen to ignore it.
We never had a falling out over anything, so I don't understand why she would actively decide that she didn't want me as a FB friend. I mean, that's quite a strong statement of your feelings about someone isn't it, when you don't even want them listed on a social network as your friend. I don't understand what I could have done that would make her feel that way. I'm now quite worried that I may have unintentionally offended her somehow.
Am not really sure what to do now. I really do want to get back in touch with A, but obviously I don't want to come across like some kind of lunatic obsessive stalker. But I really do miss her. I had tried looking for her on Google quite a few times over the years, but nothing came up. Searches on FB didnt work - she's obviously set her privacy settings to make her invisible except to friends of friends.
Would you leave it alone (and risk missing out on getting back in touch), or send another message? Or try her mobile number and see if it's the same (this feels a bit stalky, but at least I'd be able to talk to her and make sure that I hadn't unintentionally offended her or anything like that). I don't really want to bring B into this - it feels too awkward - we've only just got back in touch ourselves, and she's clearly really close to A now. I'm torn - I do miss A and would really like to be friends again. On the other hand, I don't want to seem like an irritating and weird stalky-type person. Help! What do I do?