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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be feeling sorry for myself.

28 replies

Maternelle · 28/05/2011 14:12

I am 37 weeks pregnant with 2 other DCs under 5. Had been feeling OK and working until last week but it's all getting to me now.

So called best friend hasn't asked me once about the pregnancy or how I feel.
My mum (who lives 6 hours away) hasn't called me all week as she is so busy with work. She normally calls me on a Saturday morning but nothing, so I called and she was having lunch in a restaurant on her own (which she is perfectly entitled to do BTW).
My ILs who leave in another country have just left 3 weeks or so before the birth and gone back home even though they are retired and have no particular reasons to have scheduled their return 3 weeks before the birth of their grandchild.
DH works hard so I feel I can't really download all my pains and frustrations on him.
I know this is totally self-pitying but I feel tired, lonely and down.

OP posts:
Punkatheart · 28/05/2011 14:19

Well I am 'calling' you. How are you?

Are you feeling uncomfortable, tired? Are you eating properly?

See anything good (or bad) on television last night?

Original poster
Maternelle · 28/05/2011 14:23

Awww, thank you Punk. I feel so ridiculous.
I think this is triggered by jealousy as a friend of mine is in the same situation and everybody is looking after her (Her mum, MIL, SIL, friends etc...).

I am not too bad, thanks. Tired and uncomfortable. Eating far too much rubbish. Not liking the TV programmes at the moment.

OP posts:
Punkatheart · 28/05/2011 14:28

Have you got DVDs. I know it sounds silly and it isn't a cure for being lonely but it does distract the mind, helps you slip into another world.

You can talk to your husband - I know you say he works hard but he would like to know that you need him. Everyone needs a hug.

Will you have some help when the baby is born? Not long now. Three children under 5 is a lot of work.

You are not ridiculous at all. I don't blame you when you see someone having lots of support.

People here will make you laugh. Sometimes they make me laugh and sometimes they make me Shock

WriterofDreams · 28/05/2011 14:31

It's no wonder you feel bad, you have a lot on your plate. Your body's gearing up for the baby now so your energy will be low. Keep eating that rubbish - you need it! Any chance of a quick trip to the shop to get yourself something nice?

onepieceofcremeegg · 28/05/2011 14:32

You did well to work until last week :)
Possibly your mum thought that as you are now around in the week, she would ring you another time?

37 weeks I found to be tricky. You are tired and uncomfortable, yet you still have possibly 3 weeks or more til the baby.

Is your dh at home over the weekend?

onepieceofcremeegg · 28/05/2011 14:33

Yes quick trip to shop may be good for you. Get a nice magazine, shower/bath stuff? I used to pop into M&S and get some "healthy" ready meals.

BeerTricksPotter · 28/05/2011 14:33

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Maternelle · 28/05/2011 14:53

You're all so nice. I thought I was going to be told to grow up and that many women have it worse than me (which would have been true!).
I had a good old cry with my mum on the phone and I feel better now :-)
DS who is 3 is being particularly difficult.
DH works week-ends so I am on my own.
I think I should relax my rule of TV only after 6...

OP posts:
Punkatheart · 28/05/2011 15:01

Glad you talked to your mum.

Smile
smudgethepuppydog · 28/05/2011 15:04

I think you should make an exception and relax your rule too. Glad you were able to talk to your mum.

WriterofDreams · 28/05/2011 15:04

Gosh yes! Do relax the tv rule! You might as well do it now because when the baby is born you'll do it then anyway Grin
A few hours of tv in the day is really not going to do your DS any harm. Much better that he has a quiet afternoon in front of the box with a few mummy cuddles than to be getting upset because you're upset :(

Take it really easy on yourself, do the bare minimum and let yourself gear up for the fun times ahead!

Original poster
Maternelle · 28/05/2011 15:56

Finding Nemo on the TV, no more arguments. Beans on toast tonight me think.

OP posts:
BeerTricksPotter · 28/05/2011 15:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Maternelle · 28/05/2011 16:08

Thank you for the support x

OP posts:
onepieceofcremeegg · 28/05/2011 19:04

Hope your ds settles quickly tonight and you have a relaxing evening. I'm hoping you have some choclate to nibble on after your beans on toast? x

Honeybee79 · 28/05/2011 19:10

Trashy TV and chocolate.

You're on the home stretch now!

WriterofDreams · 29/05/2011 08:51

Hope you're feeling better today. If it helps at all, I saw a programme once that said a meal of toast (preferably wholemeal, but white is ok), butter, beans, a packet of crisps and a banana is one of the most complete and nutritious meals you can eat in terms of all the different types of fat, carbohydrate etc that you need Grin

Original poster
Maternelle · 29/05/2011 20:30

I do feel better today. Thanks for checking. I think sometimes a good old cry is what is needed. I just had a big self-pitying cry and felt better after that.
DS who's 3 won't eat any veg or fruits apart from pulses, beans and spinach. I wonder if you can eat too many beans??

OP posts:
moonface73 · 29/05/2011 20:37

Glad you feeling better xx you can't beat beans on toast xx

Mollydollydoll · 29/05/2011 20:38

How you feeling today? :)

Punkatheart · 29/05/2011 20:42

Stand behind him and you may know if he has eaten too many beans! Wink

You can cook veg, liquidise it and make gravy. Sneaky way to get in veg....

Sylvaniasandwich · 29/05/2011 20:45

Ah poor you! Pregnancy is tough, and pregnancy + young children is truly hard. Eat lots, let your dcs watch telly, do as little as possible. And make sure you have enough iron. And don't try to tackle any parenting stuff such as no-veg diet! If your ds is eating spinach and pulses that is brilliant. xx

moonface73 · 29/05/2011 20:46

And also can add liquidised veg to pasta sauce!x

Guitargirl · 29/05/2011 20:47

YANBU.

I am not pregnant and only have 2 DCs but I get bloody knackered. I have a whinge to DP about it but no-one else.

My Mum seems to think it is only reasonable to want to have 1 child - any more than that and she has practically told me, 'well, you made your bed, etc.' That just means I don't confide in her when am down which doesn't help I guess as my parents then seem to think that everything is rosy.

Anyone else you know expecting their 3rd? A friend of mine joined an NCT refresher course when she was having her 3rd - not really for the classes but more to meet other expectant parents as she was the only one from her original antenatal group having a 3rd at that time.

glittercheeks · 29/05/2011 20:58

Glad you had a cry! I know exactly how you are feeling although I had forgotton it! I had my 3rd dc 9 months ago and at the time of being ready to drop I also had a 3 year old and a 1 year old. The pregnancy was also extremely tough and I was very anemic. DH was amazing but all I could think was why was no-one else around lightening the load a little bit - my mum mainly! Surely they could see I was struggling and loved me!?!? I think pure tiredness and pregnancy hormones play a huge part in this.

Don't get me wrong I still wish I get a bit more help with 3 under 4's running around but at least one of them isn't inside of me anymore consuming everything i have to give!!!
Eat some choccie and just think in less than 5 weeks time a whole new level of tiredness will hit but for me this was MUCH easier than the end of pregnancy so a relief!

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