To think that the embarrassment visited upon us as parents is karma?

[ShirleyKnot]

My mum always told me that she couldn't wait for me to have children...Not in a nasty way, she's lovely my ma

Oh no, she wanted to sit back and laugh it up at the things my children said to me which made me inwardly bite my fist, as she had done when I was small.

So when I told her that DS1 (aged 3.5 at the time) had told the woman in Clarkes that I "kicked him often" (WTF?) she quickly told me of the day that I had "kissed" the rocking horse in Southwark Park and made my nose bleed - causing me to scream "I'm A BLEEDER! I'M A BLEEDER" all the way home.

The rest of my family remind me of the time when my uncle and aunt were marrying and I was a bridesmaid...The Vicar said something like "Lo! and as Jesus did attend..." and I piped up with "HE SAID A BAD WORD!!!! HE SAID JESUS OH VEEEEE!!!!!"

I was 25 at the time Not really...

So, can we expand? Do you have terrible hilarious stories of your own awful faux pas as children?

Ha yes children say the funniest things ...when my mum was getting married the registrar said "you may now kiss the bride" to which my dd piped up in a huge loud voice "uh oh" and then wretched!! ha ...they have done and said many more but i can not remember them!! lol

At 4 years old on the bus with Mum on the way to her ante natal appointment. 3 pregnant ladies get on.
Cue me loudly " Here come the fat ladies!"

Also around 4 yrs, to a lady at the bus stop "My Daddy has a magic finger where his weewee comes out"

Magic weewee finger has made me giggle like a loon, now oh thinks I've lost the plot.....I've also forgotten all the funny stuff I said as a kid coz magic finger is stuck in my head.....not literally of course!

Can't wait for dd to start coming out with things like this!

I also told my parents (on a packed Intercity 125 from Cardiff to Paddington) that they were "THWARPED"

I still haven't lived it down

My mum used to love telling the story of me as a 3 yr old in M&S, insisting that she bought me y-fronts. I sat in the floor and refused to move shouting 'I want y-fronts' for a long embarrassing time

She, understandably, walked off in the hope I would follow, instead I ran off and she spent the next 20 minutes looking for me

I think I wanted them because they were so much more interesting than normal knickers!

I was bullied at primary school by a boy in my class. My Dad, not being one for diplomacy, told me next time he started on me just to hit him hard with my fist between his eyes. So.. when he picked me up from school the next day and asked me how I'd got on, apparently I calmly said that I had "twatted him one right between the eyes"

Meant to add that my grandmother was also in the car at the time!

{grin] Dolly!

My aunt and uncle (the other side) still laugh at me throwing a gigantic tantrum during a tap show, because I refused to wear a nightie when everyone else had a pajamas on to tap to "Me and my teddy bear"

Yeah.

"I want Y-fronts" are you a 70's child?

DD(2) ran up the aisle in Sainsburys and round the corner where I couldn't see her. Just about to shout her when she shot back around the corner at a run shouting "Run, run it's coming!" "What's coming?" "A Grandma"

Enter grey haired lady in her 60s with serious sense of humour failure.

I can't believe I've told you all my-front shame!
I was born in 1969 and my brother had y-fronts!
I had to steal them in the end!

I asked my mum what a Virginia was in a docs waiting room. My mum answered it's a type of plant. I said no mummy it says you rub cream in twice a day.(I was reading a canestan leaflet) She then hissed "it's a woman's willy!". While all other patients pissed emselves.

And she wonders why I now work in sexual health :D

I vaguely remember this.. At an aunt and uncles wedding when I was about 2 I needed the potty during the service. My mum took me out of the church to use the potty but it was a bit of a rush job. Apparently after we reterned to the church I lay in the aistle and cried "YOU DIDN'T WIPE MY BUM" Everyone had to step over me as they left