Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

very long sorry

14 replies

Valiant1 · 26/05/2011 20:54

My dh said he would help do my mums garden. She had said what she wanted and dh was happyly doing the work then my sister came and started to say we were doing things wrong and at first my mum just said yeah ok,

Then a week later my mum had changed what she wanted. my dh said he was unsure on how to do what she wanted so thought she should get someone to do it as if it went wrong he would feel bad at money waste etc. So we went down to finish what we could and my mum had my sister and bil doing what we were going to finish but in a different way!so we have just left it to them.

the other day my mum rang and said can you come down sat and finish off we said yes see you then. so today i have rang and my sister did what we were going down to do already, but my mum would like us to do another job at the front

I have said to dh that the job had been done and would we do the other job and he was really upset and hurt. and he said no so i asked him to ring my mum and explain and he is refusing!

now i have to ring and tell her no.

my mum and sister are very difficult people and we fell out a few years ago because my sister can't keep her nose out ! i just think dh should ring and not leave it to me
sorry said it was long so aibu?

OP posts:
thisisyesterday · 26/05/2011 20:58

I think you all need to just stop bickering over it

it doesn't matter who phones does it? I can see why your DH would not want to bother.. he has tried, been told it's wrong, had someone take over his job, been asked again and now told not to bother. I'm not surprised he wants nothing else to do with it

ring your mum, ask HER if she wants him to do anything. if she says yes, go and do it, if she says no, then don't

Salmotrutta · 26/05/2011 20:58

YABU - she's your mum and she has mucked your DH about. Why should he phone? Would you expect to be made to phone your MIL or FIL if the situation was reversed/

Bumfuzzle · 26/05/2011 20:59

Yes.

They are taking the piss and you should tell them to naff off.

Your husband helps them out, it's not good enough for them. Then she wants to set him on again with something else. I don't blame him for saying no! So would I.

But instead of saying to your mum, actually mum, No. This isn't on, you present this other job to your husband and when he says no (reasonably under the circumstances), you expect him to explain himself to your mother.

You should be backing your husband on this, imo.

Salmotrutta · 26/05/2011 20:59

? and not / - obviously!

FabbyChic · 26/05/2011 21:02

You do it they are your family.

Just say sorry mum but we cannot help on the front, as its really unfair we start something and cannot finish it, so rather than do that again, we shall just leave the front to you and sister.

If I was your husband Id be really fucked off and feel as if I had been slapped in the face.

Original poster
Valiant1 · 26/05/2011 21:04

actulay he would tell me to phone if i was saying no. he has done before!
thanks for replying x an i agree i should just tell them to naf off, i supose i need to go apologise to him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Valiant1 · 26/05/2011 21:07

god i am such a witch all i was thinking was i really don't want to argue with my mum again Blush. thank you again x

OP posts:
Pancakeflipper · 26/05/2011 21:10

Phone your sister and tell her you are going to be doing XYZ in the garden and then sit back down whilst your sister dashes round to be involved and be in charge.

Is your mum piggy in the middle or does she encourage this madness?

ChippingIn · 26/05/2011 21:12

Yes - you do :) Your Mum asked him to do something, he willingly went and helped her out, he was told what he'd done was wrong and not what was wanted - sister takes over ... a real slap in the face, then she has the bloody cheek to ask him to do a different part of the garden. Tell her to sod off and get Little Miss Wonderful to do it.

ChippingIn · 26/05/2011 21:14

I don't think you are a witch - you were just too wrapped up in the situation to see it objectively and you were just trying to avoid more tension/arguements by getting DH to do it - which is understandable, but not fair on DH.

When you do phone, don't say DH wont do it, say 'I'm not even asking DH to do it for you, because he would, but you have been incredibly rude & ungrateful. Let Sis sort it out'.

Original poster
Valiant1 · 26/05/2011 21:17

she sits back and watches tbh when i was pregnant with my dd 6 years ago to the date!!!!!! my sister and mum came to my house and had a go at me for my dh reading a plaster bag to see how it was done!!!! my sister had me up a corner screaming in my face infront of ds1 who was 3 at the time and my mum just stood there! my dh came and told them to clear off and we didnt speak for three years. i can understand dh and feel awfull now! but thisafternoon i was livid that it was going to be me taking the brunt of it again! i am 22 wks pg dd2 due a day before dd1 a bit of history repeating.

OP posts:
Original poster
Valiant1 · 26/05/2011 21:21

I will ring and as you say chipping, i will just tell her i not even asking dh to do it why should he! feel better no wbut dh won't speak to me will try again in a bit x

OP posts:
ChippingIn · 26/05/2011 21:37

You need to tell DH that you are sorry you even asked him to do it and that you are sorry your Mum was so rude & ungrateful for his help. Tell him that you wont put him in that position again - and don't. However, once you have apologised make sure that's the end of it, it's not your fault either really is it :(

Original poster
Valiant1 · 26/05/2011 21:43

thanks chipping x

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread