to care a lot if my child is hit by another child?

[theowlandthepussycatwenttosea]

say at a playgroup. it happened today - for no reason at all by child was hit by a toddler. I was nearby but it was unexpected. the child's mother did nothing. what can/ should i do? I was upset, probably more so than my child though he did cry lots.

Its not great but happens when toddlers and babies play. Almost certainly your child will at some point hit another child. My good natured and adorable just 2 year old bit another child at playgroup out of the blue and drew blood !

How old is your child owl?

kerala is right, it is something that happens and our children at some point are the hitter/ biter because they are learning how to behave. It is upsetting when your child gets hurt but nota lot you can do really.

It's upsetting and annoying and chances are that if your child doesn't hit another at some point, then your next child will (IYSWIM). Toddlers hit, for all sorts of reason and sometimes for no apparent reason. The other mother should have apologised and made sure your DC was alright.

Also the other mother should really have said something to her child so that child could learn it is wrong to hit.

YANBU, and I'm sure you feel worse about it because the other mother didn't intervene or make it clear that her child's behaviour wasn't acceptable.

But kerala's right - your little one will hit someone soon enough, and you'll be mortified by it. DS2 recently spent a playdate battering his little friend at every opportunity. I was deeply embarrassed and apologetic, and my friend was just resigned - last time it was her DS battering mine!

Yes, that too honeybee!

It is very normal for toddlers to hit each other, it's just what they do until they learn better.

It is annoying when parents don't do anything though.

It's part and parcel of having a child I think. I was always incredibly smug that my toddler DS is such a gentle little fellow who had never laid a finger on another child. Until we were at a soft play centre a few weeks ago and he was playing with a little girl and decided to shove her over for no reason whatsoever. I think it may be because he had recently started nursery and has experienced a bit of pushing and shoving there.

The other mother should definitely have said something though.

Think we x posted Jamie I agree with what your post said too :)

The other mother should definitely say something to her child - and to you. It's the only way to smooth things over imo. But some mothers are really lazy and can't be bothered to hover over their child and pre-empt the behaviour, which is what I did when DD went through that phase.

Accusing the mother of being lazy is a bit extreme. My dd as yet hasn't hit or bit anyone and I do hover but I certainly can't pre-empt her behaviour and no doubt one day I will turn away for seconds too long and she will hit/bite/shove as she has been hit and shoved before. I hope you're not there to say I'm lazy! Op didn't say if the other mother was near or not and she may have been having a crappy day, no excuse to not say sorry but we can't all be nice all the time.

I should add I would always say sorry if my dd behaved in that way and be mortified and tell her off.

I don't think it's extreme to accuse the other mother of being lazy if she saw what happened, which is what I inferred from the OP's post. I can't stand mothers who do and say nothing when their child is being horrible to another. Of course they all do it, but they won't learn it's wrong unless they're told.

All the op said was that the other mother did nothing. Yes it is wrong that the other mother didn't say or do anything but the op also didn't state if the other mother was aware of what happened, if the other mother had another child with her and was therefore distracted or if the other mother was deliberately not watching her child properly. I do think it's extreme to assume the other mother was lazy without knowing more about the situation.

A toddler hitting out also isn't necessarily being horrible. They do need to be told the behaviour is wrong but there are many reasons why toddlers hit one example being over excitement. I think it's easy to assume the other mother is lazy and be judgemental, but we weren't there and don't know the people involved so should at least try not to assume the worst of people.

You are of course entitled to judge people but we do agree there should have been an apology, we just don't know why there wasn't one.

Having had 2 children who would never have done anything physical and one who will hit... I can assure you I would much rather have them hit than the hitter.
I never was worried about behaviour at that age against my children as I knew it wasn't malicious, it is just a stage they go through. If my child even threatens anything I feel terrible.

mine haven't ever been physical but i really feel for mums of kids that are. i think it can be wearing for mums if it's on going.

best thing you can do is make a fuss of your child. cuddle and give lots of attention. also remove any item that has been used for hitting. I had to do this the other day even though i didn't know the hitter child. I warned the child i would remove spade if he hit again and he did - so i took it off him. mum was no where to be seen