to want my MIL to stop going on about DS staying the night at her house

[Choufleur]

She's ok most of the time. Although we don't always see eye to eye, but she whenever she sees Ds (which is probably a couple of times a month for a few hours) she always mentions about DS staying at hers.

DS is 5 so it's not that he's too little it's just he doesn't want to. I ask him, in a positive way and he doesn't.

She is also almost entirely deaf and I do worry that if DS called out in the night she wouldn't hear him.

Just tell her he is not ready yet. Simple.

I agree with FabbyChic

How does she 'go on' about it? In a demanding way or chatty or...?
The next time she starts talking about it, just tell her you've asked him if he'd like to sleep over and he doesn't want to just yet.
That should sort it out, if not - just a "no" will suffice, imo.

If ds doesn't want to go then don't make him. I think you need to explain to your mil that he doesn't want to stay over yet and maybe suggest they spend a bit more time together on their own and see how it goes. Yanbu to want her to stop asking, yabu to think she should magically know your ds isn't happy to sleep over.

I have said that he's not ready in a chatty way but whilst really being deaf she also suffers from selective deafness which means that my comments go ignored.

Ah selective deafness too, I know people with that it's very annoying!maybe you need to be more firm than chatty then.your ds is old enough to know where he does or doesn't want to sleep.maybe try and find out why he doesn't want to stay at her house?might be something easily sorted like it being too dark,light,hot,cold etc?

MIL mentioned about DS sleeping over on his own, he is 4yo, and he really didn't want to (but has slept over with DD (7) before) and we told her he didn't want to, she accepted it, no questions and said he obviously wasn't ready. Simple!

Do you want him to sleep there?if you do another suggestion I have is that the first time (or more if needed) you stay over too if possible so ds knows you're near by and also you feel confident that he's settled and mil can hear him ok etc?

I don't mind if he does or not. I've suggested to DH that he goes with DS and spends a few separate nights there so that DS gets more use to being there. That way I get a few nights peace and quiet all to myself. MIL see DS more at our house than hers.

DS has said he doesn't want to stay there on his own honeybee007 as we won't be there if he wakes up in the night.

He goes to stay at my mum's fine but my mum has looked after him far more than MIL as she was already retired when he was born and looked after him 2 days a week when I went back to work after mat leave.

I would say then Chou that you have done everything you can and that your dh should speak to his mum as she is choosing to ignore you when you tell her ds doesn't want to sleep over.hopefully she will listen to him and stop going on about it, otherwise ds might start to feel nagged by her and feel pressured by her. Hope it gets sorted soon.