Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


to be a bit miffed at my friend's DH?

7 replies

LeoTheLateBloomer · 26/05/2011 17:39

He wasn't working today (she was) so I invited him and their DD over for lunch.

They've been really supportive recently with my marriage breaking up and we were talking about it. He always refers to my friend as 'the management' or 'the boss' (she definitely wears the trousers) but today he made it clear that he felt very downtrodden and unhappy. As soon as he said it he saw that I was very uncomfortable and he said "oh I'd better not say any more".

I have no intention of saying anything to my friend but I feel like he's put me in a really difficult position now, knowing that's how he feels Sad

OP posts:

betterwhenthesunshines · 26/05/2011 17:43

Was this more than just a general grumble then? I know when i get together with other mums someone often has a bit of a grumble and it's usually just a chance for others to empathise, offer funny story etc

Maybe you're reading too much into it?


LeoTheLateBloomer · 26/05/2011 17:45

I definitely got the idea he felt the need to offload and confide and I think he would have done given half the chance.

He's done the odd 'grumble' thing in passing before. This time it was different.

OP posts:

betterwhenthesunshines · 26/05/2011 17:54

Maybe he doesn't have anyone else to off load to? After all if he talks to you and you encourage him to talk to his wife you could ultimately be helping her out. If her marriage goes belly-up she won't be v. happy so ultimately you will be more loyal to her?

By all means ask him to limit the details, but if you don't know what he was going to say you could be worrying over nothing.

YANBU to not want to get too involved but YABU that he can't have a grumble about the state of his life - that's what friends are for sometimes :o


Birdsgottafly · 26/05/2011 17:59

If you are friends with both of them then there is no reason to repeat it. He might be feeling a bit down but that doesn't mean that is how he always feels. We all have a moan from time to time about our DP's. If you are uncomfy with this line of conversation then leave it well alone and pretend it never happened.


magicmelons · 26/05/2011 18:00

If i was newly single i would feel very uncomfortable if my friends Dh was telling me how unhappy he was in his marriage, its a line i wouldn't want to cross. You did the right thing i would avoid having this sort of relationship with him.

He probably sees you as a friend but your friends with her so it is inappropriate he needs to get his own friends for bitching and moaning, we all have one for that purpose. I give out about my Dh and have forgotten all about it a week later. I wouldn't worry about saying anything to your friend.


MumblingRagDoll · 26/05/2011 18:01

Just forget it! People say things when they're relaxed. He is enough of a friend for you to have invited over....then he's enough for you to use some subtlety.


TheOriginalFAB · 26/05/2011 18:04

Friends should be able to listen when another friend talks openly to them. He hasn't put you in a difficult position unless you feel you have to tell her what he has said. If so, then to me he can't be a friend to you.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?