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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to take my own toys?

157 replies

workinggally · 26/05/2011 11:42

I take my dc to quite a lot of baby groups but the toys at some of them I think are quite unhygienic. Never washed and in all the babies mouths. One of the leaders at one said she washed them once a term as though this was really frequent, I'm sure some of the others might be even less frequent.

I was a bit shocked at the situation the first times I went but everyone else seemed to think things were ok so I just went along with it.

Anyway now my dc is unwell which could be due to unhygienic toys. (Although of course he could have caught it somewhere else).

Anyway to put my mind at rest in the future would it be ok to take my own toys for dc to play with? We don't want to stop going altogether as we enjoy the songs/ socialising.

Have other people ever taken their own toys? Tbh a lot of the stuff at these groups is older/ less nice than what he has at home, so it seems a shame to be exposed to infection unecessarily.

OP posts:
clayre · 26/05/2011 12:36

Ive laughed so much i cried at this thread now im off to boil the cats! What do you think is the best way to sterilise the guinea pigs?

ChristinedePizan · 26/05/2011 12:38

The reason I don't use an unwashed cup is because as an adult, I don't enjoy the feel of someone else's dried saliva on the side of the cup. I do use the same mug all day long though.

I have never washed my DS's toys either, even though he still puts them in his mouth at the age of 4. I wonder if my friends are discreetly whipping out a Milton wipe when I'm not looking? :o

helenthemadex · 26/05/2011 12:39

have you considered taking a steam steriliser to the playgroup and steaming all the toys before use, if this is not practical what about cling film wrapped securely round the toy that is being played with it keeps the germs in

just off to put rabbits and guinea pig in the dishwasher, any idea how to sterilise the goldfish?

QueenCee · 26/05/2011 12:39

Ok... Stop now! My stomach muscles are hurting from laughing!!! Love the nursery pic Squeaky!!!

Debs75 · 26/05/2011 12:40

YANBU When I ran a toddler group we used dettol multi surface spray on the toys after each session, it was only a quick spray and we didn't scrub them so I guess some germs remained. If a toy was sick on or was obv dirty then it was washed. All toys were washed every 2 months.

Then again you are being a bit PFB most germs on hard surfaces die after a couple of days so they toys from last week their germs would of died by time the next group was on.

Taking your own toys is a bit rude as you are bound to cause arguments when other kids want to play with them.

TeeBee · 26/05/2011 12:40

Ha ha ha Squeaky. OP, I don't think need to worry too much about restricting numbers to your sterile playgroup Wink. Certainly not after week one.

QueenofDreams · 26/05/2011 12:41

Yikes.

However, can anyone tell me how to get DS to actually be messy? He has a complete hissy if he gets anything on his hands and HAS to have them wiped, pronto. He will not finger paint, touch playdough or get muddy. He's funny about walking on grass, woodchips and mud. He even has a strop trying to eat toast without getting jam on his fingers. I really don't know where he gets this from! He's the only two year old I know that insists on having his nose wiped if he's snotty

bonkers20 · 26/05/2011 12:41

Do these groups have to be Ofsted inspected? If so, then there will rules on how often they clean the toys.

Pandemoniaa · 26/05/2011 12:41

what is happening to their children at these times?

I know almost exactly what is happening to my children while I'm hanging around being critical helpful on MN.

ds1 is almost certainly about to go to bed - he's in Auckland and has to be up for work in the morning. ds2 has just phoned to say the kettle is on ready for my arrival. Oh, and that in the meantime, his daughter has thoughtfully been sick on the clean shirt he was silly enough to put on before he fed her.

I have their permission to neglect them while I hang around on the internetty.

Honeydragon · 26/05/2011 12:42

squeaky that link had made me larf till I got hurted.

helenthemadex I'm all for benign parenting but you have to draw a line. And that line is

DON'T LET YOUR DC'S CHEW THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(get a lizard instead)

Pandemoniaa · 26/05/2011 12:45

Don't spoil the children with luxuries like lizard for lunch. Let them eat Go-Cat. It seemed to work for mine.

Asinine · 26/05/2011 12:45

Have not read whole thread but the obvious solution is to offer to take the toys away one week and put them through your washing machine/ dishwasher? Just tell the leader that you love coming but you are a bit of a 'clean freak'. She will probably be happy for you to do this.

Taking your own toys, especially if they are newer and better than what's there already is guaranteed to result in cringeworthy altercations about who can or can't play with certain toys.

TeeBee · 26/05/2011 12:45

My DS2 used to eat rabbit poo!

mummakaz · 26/05/2011 12:47

bloody hell Hmm would love to be a fly on the wall when your LO puts his hand in his shitty nappy and smears it all over the place Grin

Bunnynamedstanely · 26/05/2011 12:52

Workinggally - if you (and all your friends) are concerned about the cleanliness of the toys get yourselves on the committee and arrange to improve the situation. Our Playgroup has a regular toy cleaning evening, parents turn up with rubber gloves basins etc and we all sit around and have a natter while washing 3 million bits of lego. We've even had the local Guides into help. We have wine and nibbles too ( not for the guides though!).

I would like to politely suggest that instead of moaning to strangers about it you take some positive action. BTW my 2 three year olds are currently playing beautifully together in the other room while I make lunch. Not everyone has babies who need constant attention and you are going to get pretty short shrift on MN if you accuse everyone who disagrees with you of neglect.

bonkers20 · 26/05/2011 12:57

Bunnynamedstanely Dishwasher.

CurrySpice · 26/05/2011 12:58

I have stopped smirking at this thread to try and answer the OP sensibly

I really think you need to get a grip on this kind of anxiety or you will drive yourself to an early grave :( I assume your baby is not yet mobile and when (s)he is, you will realise the utter futility of what you are suggesting

As for the spoon licking question, it's a bit different isn't it. I think it is the thought of licking something that might be germy that puts me off. In reality, my brain knows that 99 times out of 100, licking someone elses's spoon won't harm me

This is quite apart from the whole issue of sharing among children and the filthy looks you will get from the other moms who will think you are, at best neurotic, and at worst a stuck up cow who thinks the playgroup isn't good enough for their PFB

Really OP you need to think about this a bit less and enjoy your time with your baby

(anf FYI my kids are at school and I'm on lunch. HTH)

Asinine · 26/05/2011 12:59

bunny Lego will wash in the dishwasher in a mesh bag

bonkers20 · 26/05/2011 12:59

what is happening to their children at these times?

One is at school, the other will be napping at nursery. I am on my lunch break at work.

helenthemadex · 26/05/2011 13:00

honeydragon they dont chew the fish they suck and drool, the lizards are a bit quick for them

Anyway I have to get back to wrapping anything my dc may chew in cling film, I just know the slide and trampoline are going to be bloody hard to do on my own and just what does one do with grass nasty yukky unhygenic green stuff

brokenmarrow · 26/05/2011 13:02

Had to have a look at the 10 nappies a day thread - you say your baby is 8 months old on there.

Yet you dont let him on slides or swings !

I would in all honesty be v worried about you having some sort of anxiety disorder.

I feel sorry for your child and all the experiences he will miss out on because of your "problems"

Bunnynamedstanely · 26/05/2011 13:02

Bonkers and Asinine - thanks, but then I wouldn't get my wine.....

ChippingIn · 26/05/2011 13:04

Oh another one of your weird threads - I am not sorry I wasted time on your nursery thread - I mistakenly thought you were a genuine poster, I now see I was completely wasting my time. Hope you are pleased with yourself. Please don't name change - I like knowing who the under bridge dwellers are.

brokenmarrow · 26/05/2011 13:06

oh ok last to get it as usual just saw the other thread!

Trip Trap Trip Trap

IWantAnotherBaby · 26/05/2011 13:06

Love this thread. Poor OP is going to feel really persecuted though because everyone's laughing at her! Seriously, OP, you need to get a grip. If it helps then exposing your child to lots of germs early on helps build a strong immune system and has been shown to reduce the chances of leukaemia among other things.

Yes avoid the truly manky toys (plush animals etc), but in fact most organisms struggle to survive for extended periods on hard surfaces (like most plastic toys), and the risk is minimal.

I keep a large box of toys in my consulting room for the (well) children to play with and personally wash everything each week to remove biscuit concretions etc. This is, however, more to keep the toys in good condition for longer, rather than because of concern over hygiene. I throw out items that cannot be cleaned or which get vomit (or worse) on them.