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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

... to have said "well I'm fantastic at sex!" on Mums night out...

105 replies

LittleOneMum · 26/05/2011 11:33

Oh I am so Blush Blush this morning.

Went out last night on my first ever nights out with the Mums from DS's nursery class. I don't know any of them well. Many glasses of Wine were drunk (by all of us).

At one point during dinner, they were all boasting horribly talking about how they cook amazing meals, referred to how hard it was to find ingredients I had never heard of, one of them made all her DD's clothes, one of them had just made her DD's school play costume from scratch (Marie Antoinette, would you believe). They all had some domestic talent and then they turned to me and said what about you?

Now, I work F/T (no excuse I know) but I can't cook (lasagne is about the extent of it), can't sew, etc etc and I couldn't think of anything and was a bit Envy so I said "HEY! I am fantastic in bed!"

... tumbleweed. I got a pitying stare.

and I'm not sure it is even true... Wink

BUGGER. Please make me feel better by saying that AIBU and that you have also said some stupid things. I don't think I can ever do the school run again.

OP posts:
Camerondiazepam · 26/05/2011 11:44

If I'd been there, wine would have come out of my nose, and I would want you to be my new BF.
(As it is I wasn't, but tea just came out of my nose, and I still want you to be my new BF) Grin

Chandon · 26/05/2011 11:45

Oh, I have been in a similar situation.

Lots of mums were complaining about their DPs wanting sex "all the time". One of them said: "mine wants it twice a week, can you believe that?!twice!", so I said, without thinking, that I didn't think "twice a week" was THAT much, so.....

...now I am know as the sex-mad woman. Blush

buttonmoon78 · 26/05/2011 11:45

I am v Envy. It's the kind of thing I would have thought of once I'd got home so all respect to you for saying it at the time!

And I agree. Probably best you don't go out on a mixed sex evening out unless you want to be propositioned by every dh in the room!

KaraStarbuckThrace · 26/05/2011 11:45

LittleOneMum - I would immediately have adopted you as my new bf, I am also just as domestically challenged (and don't even have FT work as an excuse Blush).

worldgonecrazy · 26/05/2011 11:45

I think you deserve a big round of applause for originality. I did meet a woman once, who put it rather more crudely as "I fuck . . . . . . . brilliantly", when asked a similar question.

I would have howled with laughter and also decided you were my best friend forever.

Camerondiazepam · 26/05/2011 11:46

If it makes you feel better, I was out on Friday night and one of DDs teachers happened to be there, and I'd had some cocktails, and I gave her a big kiss for being really really lovely.
Some backtracking to be done on Monday morning... Blush

buttonmoon78 · 26/05/2011 11:47

Chandon I've had a similar conversation to that one. Because obviously, more then once/twice a week makes you dangerous at-it-like-rabbits kind of people!

Though currently pg with #4 so that might have a lot to do with it! Grin

magicmelons · 26/05/2011 11:47

You would have been the person I decided to share my bottle of vodka with from the on. They aren't worthy of your company if they don't find you amusing.

fearnelinen · 26/05/2011 11:47

YANBU! I'm so over this now, after 7 years of feeling like that, I have learnt to keep my incredibly witty, scathing remarks to myself. But I also know that they bubble over quick so I hotfoot it over to my 'real' friends (or DH) to blast them with a quick 5 minute round up of my obligatory school run mum meet up! Great stand up material, the dom-god-off!
Either that or spill it over onto MN.

Original poster
LittleOneMum · 26/05/2011 11:49

Ladies please move to my part of London! We can all be friends. canny I go to Brighton quite often and I cannot wait to come to one of your dinner parties.

To be fair to the other Mums, it wasn't really 'boasting' per se, they started talking about a cookbook that they all really love (people love cookbooks?) and then started saying how hard it was to get one ingredient that the chef always uses and then later on they talked about making clothes and when it became apparent that I had not said a word all evening, they turned to me and tried to include me by saying "Oh LittleOne, what about you?" (probably meaning, is there something special you like).

I am so Blush I cannot tell you. I bet I am the one being gossiped about today. Maybe I should just embrace it and start telling people that I fancy their husbands?

OP posts:
chelstonmum · 26/05/2011 11:49

They are all jealous ;-)

cannydoit · 26/05/2011 11:49

oh god i once made the mistake of telling my dd that i thought her teacher was hot, she told him. he then asked her which one was her mum so now every time i go up to the school i have to be looking shit hot, with a side order of mortified.

Carrotsandcelery · 26/05/2011 11:50

LittleOneMum you would fit in perfectly on a girls night out up here. Grin You sound fab!

The night out sounds totally grim though IMHO. What pleasure do they imagine everyone gets from hearing them brag like that? It sounds so self centred and self serving it is unreal.

I suggest holding your head up high and ignoring any who fail to have a sense of humour. It doesn't sound like you would be missing much Grin

There are bound to be some normal friendly mums near you who will be a lot more fun.

Carrotsandcelery · 26/05/2011 11:50

And I too am baffled by the "polite" discussion of anal sex Hmm

Camerondiazepam · 26/05/2011 11:51

LittleOneMum, what is your part of London?

fearnelinen · 26/05/2011 11:52

I would like to try and politely discuss double penetration - may try that next time the in-laws are around the dinner table!

Twit · 26/05/2011 11:52

lol cannydoit and how did parents evening go? Grin

ledkr · 26/05/2011 11:53

Me too fearnlinen When dd started school 6 yrs ago i was a single mum who had a tattooed toyboy who occasionally came with me,i was never asked on the Mummy nights but managed to stumble upon one (literally) during anight out with my normal mates,we sat with them rambling on about nothing went out for frequent fag breaks and flirted with boys from the local college,i then slumped in a chair and fell asleep Grin my mate took me home.I did hear a rumour that i was compared to Patsy and Edwina from ab fab,what an honour,id rather that than Delia smith. Oh by the way i can sew and cook too. Dont try and be who you are not.

cannydoit · 26/05/2011 11:54

i was an outrageous flirt in a low cut top Grin he was lovely hehehehe

Aworryingtrend · 26/05/2011 11:54

I nominate Cannydoit's "shit hot with a side order of mortified" for Quote of the Week.

WanderingSheep · 26/05/2011 11:54

Ha ha! Wicked Grin You sound much more fun!

Twit · 26/05/2011 11:54

oh yes do fearnelinen and time how long it takes for them to make their excuses - you might be on to something there.

magicmelons · 26/05/2011 11:55

Now if you want really embarrassing a dad from dds class told a few of us that he had just just had a little pre cum in his pants at the thought of something, he was very pissed, dh and I nearly died laughing because of the inappropriateness of the situation, think tipsy posh parents everyone trying to make a good impression.

ledkr · 26/05/2011 11:55

wandering sheep-you'd have guessed i was on here yeah?

Original poster
LittleOneMum · 26/05/2011 11:55

I love you canny . You have made me spit hot tea on my keyboard. Love the having to look shit hot sentiment.

Cameron I can't tell you where I live, you'll all hate me and think I am 'posh' (I am not, I am from Glasgow. And not a posh bit).

OP posts: