AIBU?
To think this is not really an apology?
sunshine76 · 25/05/2011 16:21
Had a playdate arrange for my DD (2.8) this morning, only arranged three days ago with another SAHM I know who lives just down the road. She was supposed to come over at 10.30am and stay for lunch.
She never showed up and later that day (2pm) I got this email:
We totally stood you up!! Oops, my days are all mixed up from the long weekend. Is there another day this week or next that would work for you?
So am I being unreasonable to think this is not a proper apology and to think she is a rude cow?
(note we are not in UK and had a Bank hol on Monday)
AmyStake · 25/05/2011 16:30
She acknowledged she stood you up, and is willing to rearrange, so I guess that's kind of half way to an apology? 
I'd give her the benefit of the doubt this time, she should have said sorry but IMO what she sent is better than her just ignoring it completely.
sunshine76 · 25/05/2011 16:52
I guess I was a bit harsh calling her a rude cow then!
But i was thinking if it was me I would be mortified and ring to apologize.
I did call her at 11am to see if they were coming but there was no answer.
Also I don't really buy the long weekend excuse as we both said our DHs were working that day so really no different than any other if you are a SAHM.
She does seem a bit flaky and disorganised so maybe this is just a usual thing for her.
We have known each other from around for about 18 months but never been friends or done anything together, she was the one who suggested this playdate. I was happy to just be playground aquaintances after a previous incident where we said lets do a playdate, swapped emails, I invite them over and she never replied.
After that I didn't see or hear from her for awhile, until she decided to invite me to some toy selling party thing she does (which I also thought was a bit rude and cheeky).
sunshine76 · 25/05/2011 17:15
Thanks for the feedback, have decided to email her and offer to rearrange but leave the ball in her court.
I don't want to be rude to her as we live on the same street and our DCs are going to the same pre-school, school etc so we will always run into each other.
FWIW I was a bit annoyed for my DDs sake as she was really looking forward to playing with her friend and was very whiney when I said it looked like they weren't coming.
Bumfuzzle · 25/05/2011 18:28
anyone can forget an arrangement, but personally, I would have expected the word "sorry" in there somewhere.
"We totally stood you up!! Sorry, my days are all mixed up from the long weekend. Is there another day this week or next that would work for you?"
changing that one word makes all the difference.
I think not saying it is rude.
Forgetting is not rude. Forgetting is forgetting.
'oops' instead of sorry, is, imo, rude.
It could be interpreted by the failure to say sorry that the forgetting (and therefore wasting of the other person's time) did not matter = the other person's time is not important. (I would certainly interpret it that way, although I see that others wouldn't)
I think it is important to not give the impression that it doesn't matter if you forget an arrangement. "Sorry" matters. It's just good manners!
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