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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think my neighbour is disgusting

51 replies

whatever17 · 25/05/2011 01:13

I live on a (very nice) council estate where the vast majority of people have been here for years and pass their houses on to their kids. It's really good and most people try hard to be good neighbours or at least "keep themselves to themselves" (a London phrase I think).

Anyway - about 3 doors away there is this gross woman. At first my DS2 used to play in the street with their kids (this was about 3 years ago). Then the kids started playing a lot a knock down ginger on my door. One day it was every minute for about 2 hours. They were only about 7 at the time. I opened the door for the 100th time and said, very nicely, I know it is you and I have been watching you through the peephole, I am quite tired of this now and if you do it again I will tell your Mummy. They did it again a minute later.

I then said, very nicely, I did warn you and now I am going to tell your Mum. I went to the door and said - "I am sure my kid is just as bad and it is 6 of one and half a dozen of the other but would you mind asking them not to do it any more today and please let me know if my kid is up to it too?"

I said this to the husband and he went ballistic. From then on there have been "evil eyes" in the street and if all of us go out to the ice cream van at the same time she visibly "protects" her kids from me.

A few days ago the ex-husband turned up in his van with a woman in the passenger seat. The gross woman (who I secrectly call Biffa Bacon) started screaming in the street - for about 30 minutes.

She said the most disgusting things in front of her kids. One thing was "every time you go down on him you taste me" - I felt like gagging. And it was so loud I couldn't avoid it.

At school today her DS (9) said to my DS2 (11) "why don't you go home and fuck your dog?"

I hate her. She is a prison warden and it just makes me shudder to think what she is up to in prison.

OP posts:

Birdsgottafly · 25/05/2011 09:48

Op- could you please explain why you 'hate her', surely it carn't be based on one incident of shouting in the street at an ex H? Why didn't the ex drive off? was he shouting back. One incident in the street does not constitue a JK show or warrant reporting her. The language should be reported to the school in terms of the child, yes but not hers at an ex, as a one off.

She hasn't done anything else except 'keep herself to herself' as your other neighbours do.

She holding down a full time job through what sounds like a tough marriage breakup and bringing up two young children as a single mum.

The insults on here are rediculous.

sunshinelifeisgood · 25/05/2011 09:53

Birds: I have brought up to dc's whilst holding down a full time job but I do not nor never have abused my neighbours.

The woman sounds horrible but reporting her to her bosses does sound extreme :)

Birdsgottafly · 25/05/2011 09:56

punkaheart- because you are stressed out and have told your ex not to bring the OW near your front door but he ignores that.

It was one incident, she isn't making anyone's life a misery. The woman is going to work and mindng her own business. I would be a bit more understanding if i lived next door. This is not a 'social issue', arguements in the street between ex's sometimes happen unless you live in stepford.

The lauguage used by the child was in school so take it to the school, not the housing. The language may also be picked up from the ex and the OW.

The OP uses the word 'hate' but for what exactly?

Birdsgottafly · 25/05/2011 10:00

sunshine- she hasn't abused a neighbour, read the OP.

porcamiseria · 25/05/2011 10:01

SHE SOUNDS VILE , but think she has more issues with her ex than you. thats a fucking choice line she used there, ouch! try and pretend she does not exist

also agree with butter, why the FUCK should council houses go to peoples kids> how unfair , anyway

sunshinelifeisgood · 25/05/2011 10:02

I did not say that the OP had abused her neighbours I said that the prison warden who I am now assuming works full time and is bringing up 2 dc's by herself had.

I think i need to re-read this thread. :)

bupcakesandcunting · 25/05/2011 10:02

"every time you go down on him you taste me"

Pithy and offensive, though. Probably did the trick

sunshinelifeisgood · 25/05/2011 10:05

changing the subject to council housing and being transferred to the children. It does not happen where I live so maybe it is in certain areas. I worked for a local HA for many years so this comment I am sure of ha ha :)

fifi25 · 25/05/2011 10:06

She sounds vile. How can people hand their houses dont to their kids? I live in a council house as did my parents and there is no way you can just pass your house on to your kids. The house would go to the person who is most in need of it, Just curious really

spleenvent · 25/05/2011 10:10

I was thinking the same fifi. my grandparents council house got given to the next person on the list when they died. it's not a property that you can inherit is it?

Birdsgottafly · 25/05/2011 10:10

bubcakes- my thoughts exactly. For all we know the ex might have thrown the old 'she's better in bed and at least gives a decent BJ', at the woman. To which he had a bloody good answer. I would have personally added 'pity you won't choke her' ( but not infront of DC's).

Birdsgottafly · 25/05/2011 10:13

When your child is eighteen they can go onto the tenancy agreement, so they can take the tenancy over when the parent dies or moves out. The same doesn't apply to HA housing and is due to change for council housing. Some people stay on the tenancy agreement but live elsewhere so that they do 'inherit' the house, people move back in, at the end of life so they can, also.

spleenvent · 25/05/2011 10:15

that's disgusting.

fifi25 · 25/05/2011 10:17

spleenvent - no its social housing for people who need it the most. Theres no way this would happen in my area. The waiting time for a house on my estate is over 5 years, you would need 3 kids and would have to had worked your way to the top of the list. You would also qualify if you were on the homeless list with the correct number of people on your application to qualify for the house

fifi25 · 25/05/2011 10:20

birds - so would they give house to the daughter if she had no kids? This means someone with no kids could end up in a 3 bed house. Thats madness

fifi25 · 25/05/2011 10:23

Its not changing in my area. In 2012 anyone living in a house which is under occupied has to move. So a couple who have had their kids, kids have moved out and they are left in a 3 bed house have to give the house up and move into smaller accommodation. Its not their house at the end of the day and i think this is a great idea. There is a huge shortage of social housing, yound people cant buy and its ridiculos that a couple can occupy a 3 bed house.

Bast · 25/05/2011 10:26

I live on a lovely street with one orrible house (crack, smack and whores). I'm glad there was already an orrible house when my circus and I moved in, or I'm sure it would have been mine!

(Many children, many pets and most other houses are privately owned by elderly people or those with quieter older families.)

I'm glad there's another household for the neighbours to hold in contempt every street has one!

spleenvent · 25/05/2011 10:29

Fifi, that's what I was thinking too. It seems unfair

Bast · 25/05/2011 10:29

The social housing status here is that a council house can be passed to partner or children. There may be future changes but they won't affect those who were tenants prior to the changes.

spleenvent · 25/05/2011 10:33

it does seem very unfair then :(

Birdsgottafly · 25/05/2011 10:33

Fifi- i know a woman who owed her own house but her mum was in a really good council house. The Council tenant got cancer so the daughter rented her house out but the CT didn't need caring for as such it was to try to 'inherit' the house, when the woman wasn't at work she stayed in her caravan, miles away. I bumped into her the other month and was sorry to hear that her mother had passed, tbh the womans only conversation was how the council had given her the right to buy the house at her mothers discounted rate. I couldn't believe it. She had deliberatly rented her property to a single mum with MH difficulties because she knew that the court would take that into account if she pertioned to remain in her mums house. It is a large 3 bed house with gardens the woman has one teenage son.

fifi25 · 25/05/2011 10:38

spleenvent - yes it is unfair im shocked councils are doing this due to the shortage of housing. Pleased to say they dont do that in my area. My MIL is a housing officer and she says its awful how many people are homeless with young kids. Passing houses onto kids cant be helping the situation. I was on the list for over 7 years before i got mine.

Birdsgottafly · 25/05/2011 10:41

The teenage son owned property in his own right left by the father.

Yet i have handled cases were vunerable teenagers who really needed to stay in their parents HA house couldnt go on to the tenancy agreement ( without that you cannot claim HB and it affects other things), the system doesn't make sense.

fifi25 · 25/05/2011 10:42

Birds - thats shocking. They have changed the right to buy in my area. The most you can have discounted is £20,000 and you would have had to lived their for over 30 years to get that. You also have to be a tenant for 5 years before you can apply to buy. I thought this would have been a national thing. Its so unfair

taylor74 · 25/05/2011 10:44

I think we've all encounter nasty horrid neighbours, ours left 3 weeks ago abd we felt like having a party they were horrible. Very loud swearing all the time and acted like they owned the close we lived on. A lovely young couple moved in now and they are nice too.

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