Mumsnet Logo
My feed

to access all these features


To not know what to do, at all.

17 replies

JaneFonda · 24/05/2011 22:52

I posted a couple of days ago about my situation here.

Let me start by saying that I'm not trolling, I am telling the genuine truth and I'm bloody terrified.

I went to have another scan today, and when the ultrasound technician started, she looked really confused. She went to get another technician to come in as well, (by this point I was absolutely terrified, I thought there was something really wrong), and after a while, they confirmed that there were two heartbeats.

I'm having twins...I don't know what to do. I am so, so scared. One of the heartbeats wasn't as strong as the other's, which is why the previous scan only picked up on one, so one of the twins is much smaller than the other.

I'm trying not to get too stressed, but I just don't know if I can handle how suddenly this has all happened. I've got an appointment with a consultant tomorrow lunchtime, at which time I will also be given an appointment time with a counsellor, but I just don't know what to do.

I'm by myself tonight, DP is working away in Manchester until Thursday. I'm so scared, firstly to be faced with the fact that I'm pregnant, then to be faced with the fact that I'm pregnant with twins, and then that one of them is so weak that there's a possibility she might not survive. I feel like it's my fault for not knowing.

I'm crying my eyes out, I would really appreciate some support. :( Sorry that this has been so long.

OP posts:

NoobyNoob · 24/05/2011 22:55

Oh Jane - have a (((((hug)))))

Was the pregnancy planned? It's not your fault whatsoever, you couldn't have known.

I honestly don't know what to say, other than I'm here for another half hour or so, so you're not alone.

I hope others can come on and give you some pratical advice, I didn't want to read and run x


L8rAllig8r · 24/05/2011 22:56

Not sure I'll be much use but can offer some unmumnet hugs and a chat if that will help any?

What a shock. At least you have an appointment tomorrow where you will hopefully get more information. Have you told anyone else in RL?


JaneFonda · 24/05/2011 22:58

No, it wasn't planned, I was on the pill... that doesn't mean it's necessarily an unwanted pregnancy, just a massive shock.

I feel completely taken aback, I don't know how I could have not realised I was carrying twins. I was told I have a retroverted(?) uterus, and most correct themselves during pregnancy, but mine hasn't, which is why I can't really see much of a bump. Confused

OP posts:

NoobyNoob · 24/05/2011 22:59

Do you have children already Jane?

What does DP think about it all?

I want to say congratulations to you, but I'm not sure.


ScaredyDog · 24/05/2011 23:00

Sorry if I'm wrong, but is it normal for one of the heartbeats to be weaker in twins - possibly due to their position and one being smaller? I don't think it necessarily means something is wrong - but you'll know more tomorrow.

A friend found out she was expecting twins back in October and she and her husband cried when they found out - and not from joy initially! From shock.

Friend cried for a couple of weeks on and off. Now both boys are here and they are lovely, strong, healthy and beautiful. One was a pound smaller but they were both fine. I so hope everything works out well for you.


JaneFonda · 24/05/2011 23:01

I have two DS's - aged 4 and 7.

This is awful, but I haven't told DP yet. He knows that I'm pregnant, but because he's been away, I didn't think it was appropriate to break the news on the phone today.

OP posts:

JaneFonda · 24/05/2011 23:02

Oh, Scaredy, if that's correct then that is a massive relief. I think I'm just stressing out about it because they didn't even notice her at all on the first scan, which is quite scary.

OP posts:

NoobyNoob · 24/05/2011 23:06

Is there a part of you that feels happy, maybe excited about this news?


ScaredyDog · 24/05/2011 23:09

I don't want to raise your hopes if I'm wrong. But with my friend, she was having non-identical twins and I think that accounted for the slight difference in development.

You need to tell hubby, can you call him now? Don't sit there feeling alone.


squeakytoy · 24/05/2011 23:14

I dont know much, but I have heard that with twins it is very common for one heartbeat to seem much "weaker" simply because of the position of the babies.

I know two people with twins who both mentioned this after their scans.

One set of these twins are nearly ten years old now, and both playing rugby!

Please try not to get too stressed, and congratulations too!!!


LordOfTheFlies · 24/05/2011 23:17

No wonder you don't know what to do-in the space of a few days you've gone from knowing you are pregnant (did you say 5 months) to being pregnant with twins.From your previous post you sound like you want to carry on with the pregnancy ,or I don't suppose you'd have come onto this forum if you didn't.
Good luck with the pregnancy, you must feel like you've got on a rollercoaster and ther's no getting offGrin


BooyHoo · 24/05/2011 23:18



Salmotrutta · 24/05/2011 23:21

I don't really have much in the advice (and I did come across your first post about your unexpected pregnancy) but I do think you are probably reeling a bit from:
a) being further along than you realised
b) discovering you are carrying twins

That is all a lot to take in - and I think you just have to take it a day at a time and get used to all of this. Sounds trite, I know but it takes time to absorb "big" news. You have also been given the additional worry about the smaller twin.
We'd all be reeling at this point pet!!
Once you know more tomorrow you may feel a lot better.
And you don't have to "do" anything right now except come to terms with it all. Take some time to get your head round it all.
Hope you feel better tomorrow after your consultation. X


pingu2209 · 24/05/2011 23:22

Every child is a blessing. Each one of your children will give you so much love and happiness. Okay, you will be shattered and they will also be naughty and annoy you. But, above all, they will be a wonderful joy to you.

Don't worry.

All will work out. We live in a country that has benefits and housing. You will be fine. You will not be living on the streets and starving.


Salmotrutta · 24/05/2011 23:23

"in the way of advice!!


alexandriana · 24/05/2011 23:25

How far along are you?
Do they think you have TTTS?
All unplanned pregnancy is a shock, give yourself some time to go though the process and remember your hormones will be all over the place esp with 2.


Salmotrutta · 25/05/2011 14:48

How did you get on OP?

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Sign up to continue reading

Mumsnet's better when you're logged in. You can customise your experience and access way more features like messaging, watch and hide threads, voting and much more.

Already signed up?