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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be a bit miffed or am I just scrambling for a bit of praise?

6 replies

BobbaFettBountyHunter · 24/05/2011 20:05

A relative of mine recently had trouble with cats, as in she had far too many (over 50 indoor cats in a 2 bed ground floor flat) All of these cats were kept inside and, although healthy, were causing, well, you can imagine the smell.
Well anyway, said relative recieved a letter (I have no idea how long she had these cats,just that none of them had been fixed so were breeding continuously) about the smell and of course the reality of them losing their home hit them.

I went out of my way to call santuaries and the rspca (who reported all the cats to be healthy and looked after) who got her out of quite a sticky situation and called in quite a few favours, tbh it was quite stressful but it all got sorted.

The thing that is really grating on me is the lack of humility the relative is showing, the fact that although she is cleaning her flat herself she still hasn't grasped the severity of the situation she was in (if she was booted out another relative would have been responsible for the clean up costs which would have been huge). She had not made any effort to resolve the situation herself (which imo would have been easy) and it has all been taken care of for her.

Am I being unreasonable? I realise I sound like a petulant child but it annoys me that the amount of effort I went to has just kind of been ignored and she has portrayed it as though she has done the responsible thing and handled it all herself. I have not contradicted this story, and don't think it would be constructive to do so. I would have appreciated a thank you at least though.

Harrumph. I think I just need a bit of perspective, the most important thing is that it was all taken care of I suppose. I just wish they'd realise that even 6 cats in an indoor environment with no cat flap is still maybe too many?

OP posts:
SybilBeddows · 24/05/2011 20:15

well done.
course you're not being unreasonable, you have done a huge favour for someone and not only did they not thank you, they don't even realise what you've done for them and they're taking the credit.
anyone would be pissed off.

and well done for not contradicting her, that's nice of you.
You are definitely the bigger person Grin

SarfEasticated · 24/05/2011 20:15

She sounds like she may be a little odd... maybe she doesn't want to admit that things got out of control and she couldn't cope or that people may think she's losing her marbles. I think you did a decent thing, but I doubt she will ever thank you for it. Would be admitting that she needed help.

Casey76 · 24/05/2011 20:17

Erm sounds like she wanted to keep her cats...you took over, took all her cats and made her clean her house!
No wonder she is miffed, she was probably happy as cat shit as she was..

BobbaFettBountyHunter · 24/05/2011 20:26

Casey... You're right she did want to keep all her cats, but the reality of the situation was she asked me to help her, and was quite distressed at the thought of losing her home due to the complaints of other people. It was, ultimately, her decision to remove the cats, I certainly wouldn't have forced her.
Tbh i've been quietly stewing over this, writing it out has helped, it's such a petty thing to really annoy myself over.

OP posts:
Slambang · 24/05/2011 20:32

Frankly she must be pretty nuts to have 50 cats in a 2 bed flat. Someone who thinks that that is ok probably doesn't have the same ideas about pleases and thank yous as some other more 'typical' people.

Helennn · 24/05/2011 20:34

No, I don't think it is petty -it is horrible to feel un-appreciated.

I wonder if people are always getting her out of situations (like the other person who would be responsible for paying for the cleaning up of the flat if she was thrown out)?

Maybe if she had to face up to her responsibilities she wouldn't get herself into this type of situation - just a thought!

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