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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to expect to be asked how I am too?

3 replies

Newmummytobe79 · 23/05/2011 15:40

I?m getting really peed off with two family members. My cousin ? who is more like a sister to me and my Auntie ? who I consider to be a second Mum. But recently I can?t help getting really annoyed by their selfishness. My cousin is going through a bit of a rough time (to do with an ex) and at the height of the situation I went round to see her, bought her gifts/cards and constantly text to check she was (and still is) doing ok. She recently complained to me that my sister in law hadn?t once asked how she is doing ? so I thought she?d appreciate the support I?m giving her and maybe give some back?

I?m now 6 months pregnant and she?s not asked me once how I am. I sent her a text with my 20 week scan picture on and she didn?t even reply. I had to ask her if she?d received it ? which she had. I had a bit of a scare a while back (all ok now) and asked my Auntie for advice ? she said to call the midwife which I did yet I didn?t hear from my cousin once and I?m not sure my Auntie even mentioned it to my cousin.

I ask weekly how the family are etc (to Auntie) and get all their updates ? happy and sad. Yet I know my Mum told her we?d ordered baby?s pram yesterday and three emails later she still hasn?t mentioned it or asked how I am.

In all honesty I?m fine and don?t need fussing ? but I?m pig sick of worrying about her and constantly remembering to contact her on important dates etc ... when she doesn?t seem to give a damn about me.

Am I being unreasonable to want to be asked how I am too?

OP posts:
Polkadott · 23/05/2011 15:52

YANBU. You must be so excited and I cannot imagine how you should feel having close family that are so rude and don't ask about you and your baby. Fair enough they're going through stuff, but it's not excuse to be rude!

Congrats btw :)

LITTLEGEEK · 23/05/2011 15:53

YANBU to expect them to ask how you are occasionally, especially when you're so close and had your scare but it does sound like they are a bit self absorbed. I would ease off and if you forget an important date, so be it, you can always say you forgot due to pregnancy brain. Once the lo comes along your hands will be full and you wont have time to cater to them as much. Perhaps then, they'll realise how much you were there for them and make an effort. Congrats on your pregnancy.

Newmummytobe79 · 23/05/2011 15:59

Thank you both so much! I really did wonder if I was the one being unreasonable! I am SO excited but at the same time realise that having a baby isn't most important thing in everyone elses lives. I save my giddyness for my DH and Parents - but sometimes wish I could get giddy with the girl I grew up with.

Thanks for the congratulations and like you say ... maybe the only time they'll notice I'm not there is when I don't have time to ask about them x

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