To not care about my friend’s dreams?

[spatchcock]

A good friend of mine likes to describe her dreams in vivid and drawn-out detail. I do nothing to encourage this, saying a disinterested ?mmmm? and quickly changing the subject like the grumpy bint I am.

She starts with ?I had the weirdest dream last night? and launches in. The latest one was a dream about her mother rearranging her bathroom and putting the toilet outside, and then opening her wardrobe to find that she had a lot of new clothes. So no dream is too big or too small to share. She doesn?t want to analyse the dreams, just puzzle over how ?weird? they are.

I see her very regularly so I hear about her dreams at least three times a week. A couple of times I?ve tried to retaliate with long, boring stories of my own dreams but she loved it and had several more examples to share from her own dream bank.

Would I be unreasonable to turn around and start bashing my head methodically against the wall next time she starts to relate one of her dreams to illustrate just how much I hate this? Or should I be a good friend and make interested noises through gritted teeth?

I don't mind hearing about the odd mental dream. More than once or twice a year would be cause for earplugs though.

I read somewhere the two things that NOBODY GIVES A SHIT about hearing how your day at work went or a dream you had. This has made me very selective about the work stories and dreams I share with others. I think i pick the gooduns'.

It's not the dreams per se - it's the 'being boring' that is the crime. The very worst crime, in my book. If the person you're talking too is stifling yawns and looking glazed then shut the fuck up. Anything less is unforgiveable.

Do you pander to this friend in other ways, OP? Is she a bit needy, a bit feeble? I'm afraid my hand would be hovering over the delete button but I'm practically a sociopath so may not be the best guide.

Next time she starts, interrupt her and start describing in graphic detail a dream in which you shagged her husband relentlessly. That might shut her up for a while.