How on earth do I stop mil ringing at this time of the morning?

[janejon]

My mil keeps rings us at 6 am whenever she wants to talk to my dh (sometimes earlier!). She does this because she thinks my husband gets up early- he used to, but does not have to get up this early anymore (fortunately). I mean bs to my still being asleep and everything but that's another story...

Anyway, I'm absolutely sick of this- dh won't confront her (again another story, she won't 'remember' apparently ) but I have really, really got to stop this cap. I mean who in their right mind rings at this time anyway? (unless really, really important and not just for a 'chat'?) Please, folks, how can I stop this. Sneaky tricks accepted as long as not illegal!!

People are either running around like anything getting ready for work or, if not, asleep. So why do this anyway?! At end of tether regarding this particular issue. Help.

[Jaspants]

Tell your parents / close friends that someone is ringing you unacceptably early and so you are switching your phone off but if there is an emergency then to ring your mobile?

[knockinonyerdoor]

Several people have suggested an answerphone. Is there a reason you won't have one?

I suspect that your dh wouldn't agree to it - just as you said earlier that if you unplugged the phone your dh would want to know why.

Why can't you TELL, not ASK, your dh to put you and the dc's first. You do not want to be woken at 6am. If he insists that, for whatever reason, he cannot tell her this, then put the ball in his court - you do not want to be woken at 6am by the phone so he needs to sort it out with MIL.

Can he not give MIL his mobile number instead, and keep his mobile under his pillow where it will only wake HIM up?

[CelebratedMonkey]

Just unplug for a few mornings. Hopefully she'll get the message - it's not a permanent thing. Otherwise you have to tell her.

Or get an answerphone you can mute.

[Jaspants]

Or if MIL is likely to ring your mobile then buy a cheap PAYG and give that number out as your night time emergency number - just don't give it to MIL.

[mumblechum1]

Emergency Shemergency.

You, your dh and your children are tucked up safe in bed. Any other "emergency" is by definition not your direct responsibility.

Unplug the phone for goodness sake.

[TheCrackFox]

Turn the phone off and stop being so bloody wet.

[TandB]

Why not tell her, very clearly and in a situation where there are no distractions, that she is NOT to ring at 6am and that if she thinks she might forget this instruction, she is to put a notice above her phone reminding her.

Make the notice yourself if you have to. If she then continues to ring you will be justified in getting very, vocally angry with her.

[janejon]

I know people think that I should use reason with her and I thank them for their advice, but don't you see there is no point trying to reason with her?! Believe me, I had major argument with husband about this-until I realised he was right-she never bloody listens to anybody else. So please, he is not being a 'pussy' about this at all.

I mean, I ask in all genuineness, she is totally unreasonable to be ringing at this time, right? So how can you reason with somebody who is unreasonable enough to ring at this hour in first place (unless, of course, genuine emergency -and, I'm sad to say I've had a few GENUINE late night phonecalls about emergencies in the past few years- THIS is why I am reluctant to turn phone off).

[DorisIsAPinkDragon]

TBH OP you don't seem prepared to listen to suggestions but just seem to come back to "oh but we couldn't possibly do THAT".

It's coming across as a bit 'wet'.

One way or another for your sanity you need to tackle this. If she is rude enough to ring you at 6am then I would suggest answering the phone (as suggested above)with a we are sleeping right now please phone back at 9 am (put phone down) it is not beyond the realms of the wildest imagination. She is your MIL not some delicate little flower, if she is happy to impose what is stopping you.

Oh and how many emergency phone calls have you really had in the last 6 months (not that I think it would take that long!)? really? that couldn't have waited a couple of hours?

How often do you see your MIL could you put a (jokey) note on her phone "note to self do not phone x and his dw before 8am as THEY ARE SLEEPING" (I not really serios about this but you seem to have an answer for all reasonable suggestions).

[missnevermind]

Get a cordless phone and take it to bed with you.
If it rings at an ungodly hour look at it to id the caller, if it is MIL refuse the call. No getting out of bed and the phone is there for a real emergency.
A couple of times should install the correct response in her.

[SardineQueen]

I wouldn't answer it.

[ZombiePlan]

Agree with mumblechum. What kind of emergency are you expecting anyway? I can't seem what would happen that would require you to do something in the middle of the night (if it's a situation where something is anticipated, such as elderly parents who are prone to falling, surely the relevant people can be primed to call your mobile).

[seeker]

Put an answerphone message that says "In case of emergency, please ring [inset mobile number]" Then switch the ringer off.

[mistlethrush]

Ring her at 11,30pm 'I thought we'd give you a ring now so that you don't try to ring us at 6am because we're sleeping then'

[faverolles]

I get what you mean about emergencies, and I would never unplug my phone either.
If she is really that unreasonable about it, just tell her that you will not be answering the phone to her at that time. Get caller display on your phone and do not answer the phone.
Consider it controlled crying in an adult situation.
You may also want to warn her that if she doesn't stop, if she ever has a middle of the night emergency, you will assume that she is being a pesky old bag, and will in all probability ignore the phone, so it is in her own best interests to stop ringing you so early.

Honestly, there are no other solutions. If you can't do one of the suggested, you are destined to a 6am wake up call for the rest of your life.

[janejon]

I've got to go out now. But, please, keep the suggestions coming. Have seen a few here that might just work- they'll be worth a try at least. I shall definitely try the 'name on screen' version. I'm being too defeatist about this - thinking I know what the result will be BEFORE I've tried the solutions. Maybe, maybe if I try these things she WILL eventually get the message.

[SiriuslyBlack]

How about you answer the phone?
"Oh hello, everyone is asleep here. I 'll get dh to call you at 8.30. Got to go as I don't want to wake anyone. Speak later."

Do this everytime. Don't get into a conversation.

You don't need to play games, be mean or give excuses or reasons.

It is too early for YOUR family. If she asks why she hasn't been able to speak to dh in the mornings just tell her that it is too early and your alarm clock is set for 7.30.
Keep repeating it. She is a creature of habit and it takes a while to break one and create another.

Agree between you and your dh what you will do and stick to it. Explain to him that it isn't being mean but will stop you and him resenting her early morning calls.

[naturalbaby]

i'm confused at why this is such an issue. either tell her straight or make her take a hint. you do it or get dh to do it. not many options there.

my mil doesn't do hints so when she called several times week while we were trying to wrestle kids into bed dh kindly asked her to only ring his mobile after 7pm so the babies didn't get woken up. if he ignores the phone then she just keeps ringing, then texting so that may not work. if your husband is happy to speak to her at 6am then tell her to phone his mobile so the rest of you don't get woken up.

[valiumredhead]

She rings because you answer the phone. Call her back later and she'll get the message.

[zipzap]

What time does your dh go to bed?

Can he ring her up at midnight because he wants a chat - or to check that she doesn't want to talk to him about anything tomorrow morning because he knows he'll be asleep because he's up quite late?

By waking her up when she is asleep maybe she realise what a pain it is?

And you need to make sure that he does it every night after she has woken him early the night before so that he can say 'you woke me early this morning mum and I'm now an owl not a lark, I don't want to be woken up tomorrow morning, I want to wake up naturally so let's chat now instead of in the morning.'

If he keeps doing it hopefully she will begin to get the message that every time she rings too early he will ring too late...

good luck, it is miserable when you get woken up early. We had a phone number that was very similar to the eurostar number and it was amazing the number of times that people would ring at stupid o'clock to find out what time their train was or the first train of the day etc. I got very good at growling down the phone! Was very tempting to tell them that eurostar were on strike and there were no trains today though sometimes

[naturalbaby]

this thread sounds like one of those ''how do i get my baby to sleep through the night??'' questions! cut to the chase or persuade it you are not available between the hours of 7pm and 7am so it will give up and sleep through.