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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Or is DH

27 replies

BimboNo5 · 22/05/2011 21:00

He wanted me to sniff a tub of coleslaw he'd dug out of the fridge to see if it was off. I said no, I dont want to be inhaling coleslaw especially if its off and ive just come back from 12 hours at work and wanted a sit down and chill. He then in temper threw it across the kitchen and said I was a selfish bitch etc he's got a cold (however was well enough to play golf yesterday).
Last week the phone was flat and he lobbed that across the floor as well, it was my fault because the phone wasnt on the charger.
AIBU or is he?

OP posts:
SarahStratton · 22/05/2011 21:01

He's a wanker as well.

MrsGravy · 22/05/2011 21:01

Christ, you even have to ask? He's beyond unreasonable. He sounds like a twat with a very nasty temper.

Lovemybrood · 22/05/2011 21:01

Definatley DH, why didn't he check the date or have a taste. Make him clean in up.

manicbmc · 22/05/2011 21:02

He sounds like an angry knobhead. Tell him to calm himself down and stop chucking his toys out the pram.

GooGooMuck · 22/05/2011 21:04

He is. I hope you didn't clean it up.

Is he usually like this or just recently?

Don't eat fizzy coleslaw BTW.

redflagsahoy · 22/05/2011 21:04

He is Bimbo, what a plonker and a bad temper too, what a disgusting and childish thing to do, what a waste of coleslaw and he has so little respect for you or for his belongings, he is a big baby. Maybe there is something else eating him but he would want to sort it out fairly lively with that carry om.

TheSkiingGardener · 22/05/2011 21:05

He is Very, Very, Very, Very, unreasonable.

Is this new behaviour or his usual style?

NimpyWindowmash · 22/05/2011 21:06

He is being totally unreasonable, and sounds like he really needs to address his temper. Don't put up with this shit.

squeakytoy · 22/05/2011 21:06

He needs some sort of help for that temper.

BornInAfrica · 22/05/2011 21:06

You need to ask? Why on earth are you even with such a knobber?

aliceliddell · 22/05/2011 21:06

He is.

DontCallMePeanut · 22/05/2011 21:07

He sounds like a complete knob. Is this new?

Imnotaslimjim · 22/05/2011 21:09

wow, why are you even asking? What a prize twat! I hope you haven't cleaned it up? I'd leave it there for him to do, bad tempered bastard!

Bumfuzzle · 22/05/2011 21:10

You are.

For asking.

What the hell is wrong with him?

And what's happened with you that you even have to ask?

I mean, if he's got a cold and he can't smell, then asking you to take a sniff is not in itself unreasonable. It's not a big thing to ask. I often ask my husband for a second opinion Grin

But his response to your choice to say no was totally unreasonable. Was that really about coleslaw? What else is going on between you?

AgentZigzag · 22/05/2011 21:10

He sounds very explosive.

Is he normally like this?

Anything stressing him out he doesn't feel able to talk to you about?

Original poster
BimboNo5 · 22/05/2011 21:14

He has had epiosdes like this in the past very occasionally chucking stuff around. He had a brain tumour last year and it was on the part that affects the control of temper so his neurosurgeon said. However he keeps saying its not a problem at all his follow up appointments, he's not bad tempered etc he doesnt 'lose it' when he does and im getting so sick of it.

OP posts:
AgentZigzag · 22/05/2011 21:16

Well that's a pretty good reason for him behaving like this bimbo.

Have you asked him if he minds mentioning it to his neurosurgeon because it's worrying you?

Original poster
BimboNo5 · 22/05/2011 21:18

Yes and he says theres no point theres nothing wrong with him and if he loses it its because ive annoyed him

OP posts:
Bumfuzzle · 22/05/2011 21:19

So it could be related to his tumour?

Well, you have a choice. You can either accept it or you can tell him to get it sorted or get out until he does.

I am not a neurosurgeon, but if there is any chance at all that this is not his fault, and is a result of the tumour, then could it also be that he lacks the ability to see that?

Or has he always had tantrums from time to time?

At the end of the day though, you accept it or you don't. Nobody can make that choice for you.

What do you want?

manicbmc · 22/05/2011 21:20

But it's not normal to lose it in that manner at his age.

squeakytoy · 22/05/2011 21:20

A brain tumour puts a totally different slant onto it. It really does.

He may say there is nothing wrong, but he could well be avoiding the issue and shying away from his worries.

My dad had a brain tumour and it changed his character a great deal.

Original poster
BimboNo5 · 22/05/2011 21:21

He hasnt had tantrums very often, hes always been quite placid. I just want him to realise its not normal and its not a good example to set to kids but then I know a lot of men who are stroppy barstewards and have done/do similar things.
He cleaned it up himself after but was muttering I was a bitch etc.

OP posts:
ballstoit · 22/05/2011 21:22

YANBU obviously.

Would it help to write down things that have happened and ask him to look at when he's calmer? Or is there a 3rd party he has respect for that could talk to him about it?

This is not ok. Do you have DC?

Bumfuzzle · 22/05/2011 21:22

If he thinks it's acceptable to call you a bitch, then I think whether a tub of coleslaw was off or not is the least of your problems.

Whatever the reason for his behaviour, it needs sorting out.

gapants · 22/05/2011 21:24

That line there "...theres no point, theres nothing wrong with him and if he loses it, it is because I've annoyed him" Is something I have a lot of trouble with. I think that is a very scary and completely unreasonable way of looking at things. His problems are his, not yours.

Can you talk about it when he is not "annoyed" and get him to see that he needs to open up to his DR?

Tricky as their is a valid medical condition that is possibly to blame here. However you need to make sure you are not being put in danger by him.