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To think that visitors should not turn up unannounced at 8pm on a Sunday evening

21 replies

magicmummy1 · 22/05/2011 20:37

Had just finished dd's bedtime story tonight when a couple who we hardly know turned up at the door to say hello. They are now downstairs drinking tea with DH and talking in loud voices while I am quietly fuming upstairs in dd's room.

Don't really feel like going down to be sociable. The house is an absolute tip and I'd planned to clear up the kitchen and cook a couple of things for us to heat up during the week. Won't be able to do that now and am feeling uber-resentful.

I work FT from Monday to Friday and Sunday evenings are my time to get ready for the week ahead. I really don't welcome visitors at this time. DH, however, always seems to welcome anyone at any time!

AIBU to resent this intrusion?

OP posts:

ilovesooty · 22/05/2011 20:39

YANBU. I'd be fuming too.


Numberfour · 22/05/2011 20:39

YANBU at all! I would feel exactly the same (which makes you completely reasonable!)
WTF do they want???


StayFr0sty · 22/05/2011 20:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kitbit · 22/05/2011 20:43

When you go downstairs say a cheery hello and explain in a chirpy voice that you hope they don't mind but you have a few Sunday night things to do in preparation for your week. Then do them.

Or if you are nicer than me get a cuppa and join them for a bit :o


nomoreheels · 22/05/2011 20:43

Text your DH & ask him to politely get rid. I would want my Sunday evening for week ahead time too, unless we'd made plans otherwise.


WhoAteMySnickers · 22/05/2011 20:44


I would go down in my pj's and ask them to keep their voices down as DD is trying to sleep. Then get on with whatever you had planned to do, around them.


kitbit · 22/05/2011 20:44

Might actually be a good time to let loose a bit of huffy tidying...


babybythesea · 22/05/2011 20:45

I'm with kitbit - do what you have to, say that you apologise you can't sit with them but what with working and having the dd to look after you are sure they'll understand but there's things need doing ready for the rest of the week. Carry on as usual around them.


RevoltingPeasant · 22/05/2011 20:46

I can see why you're annoyed but I also think it's nice for your DH to socialise a little if he wants - sounds like you have different wants/ needs in this respect, and imo it's not a big enough deal to get visibly het up over. I mean, it's not like he's breaking out the gin and cranking up the music - they're just having a cup of tea, right?

Also, if people come over like that unannounced, they can't expect you to be free - so I WOULD get on with what you need to do, but not in a passive-aggressive way, more like stick your head round the door, say,

'Hi! Good to see you! Listen, don't mind me, I have a bunch of stuff to get on with, but come say hello in the kitchen in a while!' and then go into the kitchen and do what you normally would.

They're obviously happy enough with your DH entertaining them now, so they surely won't mind if it remains that way...?


GetOrfMoiCase · 22/05/2011 20:47

Text your DH 'tell them to piss off'

My DP is very gregarious, and would have a house full of people at all times. I am a miserable bugger and hate it when people just drop in. I wouldn't have answered the door. Grin


ohhappyday · 22/05/2011 20:48

YADNBU - I would also go down, say a quick hi, tell them you have a lot to do for the week ahead and carry on doing what you were doing. PESTS


yankeecandlelover · 22/05/2011 20:54

My aunt and uncle called here, they've just left and only got mine to bed now. But doesnt really annoy me, I love to have people call. Our house is hopefully very welcoming. Maybe I'm just a bit more chilled. I could never imagine saying or doing any of things suggested here. Very rude


magicmummy1 · 22/05/2011 20:54

Revolting - you're quite right, DH does need the social contact, and it's very normal in his culture for people to just drop round. And it's normal for people to just drop whatever they're doing when they do. I've adapted to this over the years and don't usually mind it, but Sunday night is just a bad time.

Think I'd be percieved as quite rude if I went down and got on with other things, so I'm letting them think that I'm seeing to dd while I let off a bit of steam on MN! Hopefully they won't stay too long...

OP posts:

magicmummy1 · 22/05/2011 21:08

Hurray - they just left! Grin

OP posts:

allnewtaketwo · 22/05/2011 21:12

YANBU - we have friends who used to do this a lot (before they had a child of their own might I add, not since!). I was sat one night expressing milk (which was a complete ballache for me as I struggled to get 1oz during a 30min sitting) and DH just welcomed them right into the kitchen where I was sat, pump attached, in my dressing gown. WTF?


Lunabelly · 22/05/2011 21:18

YWNBU - I'd have been fuming...Sunday nights are verboten! AFAIC, you were totally reasonable to be cross. :)
I also think you'd be quite reasonable to put them on your shitlist for the next few years weeks.


atswimtwolengths · 22/05/2011 21:46

But don't you all remember what it was like before you had children, when Sunday night didn't mean cooking for the week ahead?

Agreed, they didn't think before they knocked, but it's not an aggressive act, is it? They just called in.

I would have said hello, told them I needed to cook for a bit, told them to pop into the kitchen if they fancied a chat, then just got on with it.


lettinggo · 22/05/2011 21:49

A woman I know had just had her first baby and friends of hers called unannounced one evening and were overstaying their reluctant welcome. She was upstairs checking on her 5 week old baby and texted her sister to complain about the visitors and expressing a wish that they would leave soon. However she texted her friend who was sitting on her couch instead.

Wasn't me, I swear Wink


magicmummy1 · 22/05/2011 21:59

Grin at lettinggo - how embarrassing! Hope the friend didn't take it too personally!

OP posts:

allnewtaketwo · 22/05/2011 22:09

Grin lettinggo - that's one way of getting the message across!


lettinggo · 22/05/2011 22:14

They actually took it quite well, they can all laugh about it now.

Sadly this is not the only time my friend has had texting mishaps. You'd think I'd she'd learn from past mistakes. Blush

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