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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to go "cold turkey" on daytime naps for 19 month old?

44 replies

TattyDevine · 22/05/2011 20:35

19 month DD would typically get up around half 7, have about an hour nap after lunch around 1pm, then go down at half 7pm, settle straight away and sleep through the night.

Sometime recently she stopped going down "nicely" at 7:30pm and started various shenanigans including taking off her pj trousers, standing there and crying/complaining loudly and generally raising merry hell till about half 8, 9pm on a really bad night.

She would then want to sleep till 9am or well after 8am which was bad for school run - it was suddenly all messed up.

My son had dropped daytime naps by this age - I remember him doing it after my 1st trimester of pregnancy with DD and I had to stop having a nap myself - and had been half expecting her to just stop having one at some point but instead her night time sleep is getting all messed up.

This morning she slept till about 8:15am after not settling last night till nearly 9 and DH and I agreed that we would keep her up instead of let her have a nap. We did. We put her in bed at 7:30pm. She slept.

Am I unreasonable?

I suppose I'm asking because there may be times where she is visibly tired and flagging or falls asleep in the car on the school run (I propose that I would just wake her when we arrive either there or home) so really the question is, is that so bad if it means she's not distressed at night, or is daytime tiredness worse than nighttime distress...

Did anyone else do this? Or are you of the "never wake a sleeping baby" or baby-led to the extent that if she's not tired at half 7 then keep her up...let her sleep in in the morning school of thought?

OP posts:

mtw · 22/05/2011 21:23

We are in America, so 4.5 yrs old they are
still half day pre-school

trixymalixy · 22/05/2011 21:24

I could have written your post OP. If DD has a sleep of more than an hour she will be up till 10.30 chatting in her cot and will strip her pjs and sleeping bag off.

She's 21 months. We were having some success with putting her down for a sleep at 11am and she was going to sleep at night fine again, but these past couple of weeks she won't go down for a sleep that early, but will fall asleep in her dinner if she doesn't have a nap.

This is z bit of a shock to us as DS could sleep for 4 hours on the afternoon and then sleep all night up till age 3!!!

Original poster

TattyDevine · 22/05/2011 21:31

Wow Trixy - 10:30 she's a machine.

See I'm fine in that she doesn't get tired or ratty if she doesn't have the nap, or fall asleep in her spaghetti. Its like I've been putting her in her cot out of habit, and its now starting to become a problem...

OP posts:

raindroprhyme · 22/05/2011 21:32

is she teething? Back molars
or light evenings, put her to bed later wake her up at usual time in the morning?

trixymalixy · 22/05/2011 21:33

And then she'll be up at 6.30!!

GrimmaTheNome · 22/05/2011 21:35

What (more or less) worked for us was that if DD needed a nap (or fell asleep in transit), limit it to 15-20 mins. Enough to refresh but not enough to keep her wide awake all evening.

foreverondiet · 22/05/2011 21:38

I didn't stop day time naps until 2.5 with both DD and DS1 BUT from around 19-20 months starting cutting down the length of the nap, first to 90 mins, then to one hour, then to 30 mins etc then to maybe 3-4 times a week, then cut altogether.

ZhenXiang · 22/05/2011 21:41

Tried this with my DD due to same problem and invariably she always lasted till 5pm then fell asleep which messed up the night routine more. Tried to give her dinner earlier and make that her bedtime, but then she woke at 5am and woke hungry in the night too. She now has 1/2 hour to 45 minutes day time nap (23 months) and has done since 20 months which seems to work. So long as she has at least six hours between waking up from her nap and bedtime she is generally tired enough to go down without too much fuss.

All children are different, trial and error I say and see what works for you.

Original poster

TattyDevine · 22/05/2011 21:44

I think I've had a revealation during the course of this thread - I dont like waking her up, whether its in the morning because she was up late, or whether it is from a nap to ensure its not too long. I like to just let her sleep. Previously this worked because she would self regulate but now I either have to cut the nap out altogether to avoid having to wake her at some point, or I have to wake her, and I'm veering towards cutting it becaue I feel cruel waking her.

I didn't quite realise that till now!

OP posts:

simpson · 22/05/2011 21:46

you could try offering a nap/relaxing time every other day and see how she copes...

My DD (now 3) dropped her daytime sleep v early at about 20mths.

But DS (now 50 still had a day time sleep till he was nearly 3.

What I did with DD when she dropped her nap was to bring bedtime forward to 6pm which I know is v early but she still slept till nearly 7pm so it paid off

If you do decide to drop nap totally, I would bring tea/dinner forward slightly so she is not so tired she won't eat and then wake in night due to hunger etc...

You can always offer a snack before bed time.

PumpkinSnatch · 22/05/2011 21:48

DD is 3.5 and dropped her daily nap long ago but will still occasionally nap if she's particularly tired or if we're in the car.
I've never woken her after naps or in the morning cos I've always been a sahm so a late night/late morning hasn't been a problem. If I had to be up for school/work then I would prob let her just have half an hour if she fell asleep so she's not getting too late a night but would stop encouraging naps.

LiegeAndLief · 22/05/2011 22:04

Amm unbeliveably envious of all these posters who seem incredulous that any child under 2-2.5 could possibly get by without a nap.

I stopped putting ds down for a nap at 22 months, after 2 months of him waking ridiculously early (so could probably have done it at 20 months) - the day he woke at 4:30am, full of beans, for the second day in a row was the day I snapped. If he fell asleep in the car etc I woke him after no more than 15min. He was utterly miserable for 15min or so and then fine. If I am woken at 4:30 I am miserable all day!

Have recently stopped dd's naps at the same age, although she goes the other way and will be awake until 9:30pm and then wake up in the night and want to chat for about an hour or two. Again, I wake her after 15min max if she falls asleep in the day; again, she is miserable but soon comes round. It makes me feel awful every time I wake her but not as awful as I feel having been awake between 2 and 3:30am trying to get her back to sleep!

I say go for it.

cerealqueen · 23/05/2011 09:02

That is good advice Simpson as now if we have a full on day, with no opportunity for even a little catnap, she'll fall asleep over her dinner!

TandB · 23/05/2011 09:10

I am starting to think DS is chronically lazy! He sleeps 7 till 7 (usually) and still has a 3 hour nap from about 9.30 to 12.30ish.

He is 22 months.

TragicallyHip · 23/05/2011 09:29

kungfu Ds is 22 months and sleeps about the same. 7.30pm to 7.30/8am and 2-2.5 hours at lunch

tryingtoleave · 23/05/2011 09:36

I have to wake dd (2.5) up at 1 if I want her to go to sleep at 8. But she can't make it through the afternoon without a nap yet.

cottonreels · 23/05/2011 09:54

My dd is 19 months and usually has about 2 hours at midday. Sometimes its tricky putting her to bed at 7pm but she doesnt protest for long. Sometimes wakes at 9pm as if confused as to whether its a night time sleep or just a nap. We do have periods though while she's a nightmare to get to bed on time at 7pm and it can take ages. I usually find its teething realated though.
It might be interesting to put her to bed with calpol for a night to see if that makes any difference to her settling.
I sure Ive read somewhere that even if shes put to bed for a nap at midday for a hour, and she doesnt sleep, that she is still resting (cut stimultation) for a while and will feel more able to get through the day. Could be another thing to try. Win, win, really - she still gets a rest and so do you!!
I think all you can do is try a couple of suggestions for a while and see how it goes. If you'd prefer her not to have a nap at all, try it and see how that goes. Its all trial and error in my opinion.
Very interesting to read this thread though, am dreading my dd dropping hers - am a sahm and my dp works away so its the only real break I have

WowOoo · 23/05/2011 10:01

Mine is nearly 2.

If he naps it won't be until 1 or even 3 ish. Then, he won't go to sleep early and easily. He'll be up til 8:30 or 9 - too late IMO.

Yesterday he didn't nap and went off at 6:30 Bliss!
Will try to make him have a short nap as long as it's well before 2:30. If not he'll be groggy later.
Ds1 dropped his day naps at 1.5 yrs. But slept far better at night.

So YANBU at all! Shame when you can't have that nap yourselfpeace and quiet in the day though

WowOoo · 23/05/2011 10:03

Rather than waking him, I go into his room and open curtains, put bouncy music on and start being noisy. He wakes up himself mostly. In a bad mood at times, bless.

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