to want to cry?

[chelstonmum]

Background: DS 8 and DD 6 have not seen bio father properly in almost 6yrs. He has taken me and DH (the man they call daddy and who brings them up)to court 3 times, each time weekly supervised access granted as he is not well known by kids etc. Each time he lasted a maximum of 3 visits. The 2hrs he was alloted he turned up late (an hr on one occasion) and left early. One visit he was there for a whole 18min!

Last visit was in 2007. He pays no maintenance, never has sent a birthday or xmas card etc.

I am 6mths pg with DC3 and he has emailed saying he has a right to access, that I must have known he would be back, the kids deserve to know the truth etc, not just what I tell them.

If I told the kids what he was really like they would be scared. He has been to prison for racial assault and other assault charges. Banned from driving for use of drink and drugs and used to hit me, spend all income and have me and kids go without. Vanish for days and my personal fave... slept with a prostitute when I was pg with DS resulting in giving me an sti!

When he left he thretened to take kids for the day and either keep them or drive off a bridge.

My kids are lovely well rounded and charming individuals. They both thrive at school, live in a nice, clean and stable home with two parents who adore them.

How can this be happening????? Help.

No offence taken microserf, that is why he is an ex. It was reported to the police and he was spoken to but announced he was just emotional and had said it in the heat of the moment (there was no heat, it was a text sent at 1am when I was asleep!).

I will call the lawyer at 9am and take it from there.

I have just packed two blissfully unaware kiddies off to school with my DH. DD was last hear skipping down the path announcind 'DB is at afterschool club tonight daddy so it's just us for a WHOLE HOUR!..... Can we go for hot chocolate???'
It breaks my heart.

I really sympathise op.

I hate the way family law works in the UK.

And before I anyone says it,no Im not anti-fathers rights,Im anti scum-spiteful-parents-who-only-harm-their-kids rights.

I can't add anything more other than to say i have lots of sympathy for you and hope it turns out ok. take care and let us know how things go.

i'm also not anti-fathers rights (my brother has been denied access to his son by his ex and i know how heartbreaking it is for the entire family - we are always aware there is someone missing who should be part of our lives ) - but then like in your case OP there are some fathers who really shouldn't be allowed to have unsupervised or indeed any access to their kids.