to go on a holiday without dh.

[york00]

Last year I went away with my Dad, siblngs and dc. DH agreed reluctantly when I explained Dad was paying for most of holiday. He didn't want to pay for a holiday he wasn't going on. (I am a SAHM). Upon my return he had the hump when currency costs appeared on my credit card. Crazy as we would have to eat anyway. I also do not moan about the cost of his football season ticket.
This year my dad sadly passed away. We still want to go away especially as my cousin who we will visiting has cancer. However, I can already feel resentment brewing. My bro is willing to pay the bulk of the cost. I can also cover the rest from a small inheritance I will be receiving.
Am I wrong to want to go?
He could come with us but probably won't want to as he doesn't have much holiday.
Sorry long.

Hhhmm, not sure actually .... when I received an inheritance I bought a house for DH, me and the DCs to live in - I didn't spend it solely on myself. However, I don't know your financial situation and whether your DH spends loads more money on treats for himself than you do do on treats for yourself ... on balance I would say that YANBU, although if you never go on holiday with your DH and DCs I might say YABU! Is the "family holiday without DH" going to be an annual occurrence, and does he ever go on holiday with you? Would he like to go on holiday with you and the DCs?

I'm really sorry about your dad.

I don't see why you shouldn't go. He's behaving as though he has all the rights because he goes out to work, which negates the contribution you make to the home. Is he still buying a season ticket next year? I presume that means spending at least every other Saturday away from the home.

Thank you for replying Rockon. We always go away on a family holiday too. This is an additional holiday. Don't think it will be an annual occurence. Certainly not if it creates friction. However, I think this year its particularly important due to this bereavement. I think the cost will probably equate to the cost of his season ticket so I don't think I am being unreasonable. I will still have some inheritance left and will probably put that aside for rainy day savings.

Yes he is Ilovesooty.

In which case - YAdefNBU and I hope you really enjoy the holiday. Your DH needs to get over his resentment sharpish and start supporting you.

Go for it, I regularly take my Dc's away without my Dp because he s working in most of the school hols. We go away with friends and family.

He is behaving like a child and needs to think about others. I could proabably take my kids away for a fortnights camping on what it costs for a season ticket.

IMO YANBU.

YANBU. Go and enjoy your holiday.

I think the key issue here is not the holiday but the money. Although you are a SAHM both you and DH are entitled to the same amount of discretionary spending money, so if his football ticket costs £500 or whatever then you get £500 in your fund. But on the same principle then your inheritance money should also go into the joint pot.

I'd also say that you should get the same amount of child free time therefore you can bank the football matches as credit for time off for you.

However having said that I'd be a bit peed off if DH went on holiday each year with his relatives and DS without me. It would make me feel excluded. I can see why you feel the need to go this year, but I think I would say to DH that its not going to be an annual event.

personally i think you are unreasonable for keep getting others to fork out on holidays for you and your kids

:)

Fair point. When I say bulk of the cost I mean possibly paying his share plus a contribution towards my share. I will be the one driving and paying for petrol etc. Although I do see how the wording could be misconstrued. Last year dad paid for everyone.