To think a paycut is worth it to live by the sea

[IslandIsla]

DH and I have always dreamed of living by the seaside. I grew up by the seaside (on the Isle of Wight). After having DD (2 yrs) we started to think about the idea in a more concrete way, and narrowed it down to the IoW, where I still have family and some friends. I am keen to make any move before DD starts education, as I wouldn't want to uproot her unless necessary, and because I feel the younger she is, the better for all of us to make friends when we move. We also want more of an outdoor life, being able to take nice walks or go to the beach after work/school, things like that.

Now an opportunity has come up for DH. Its a good job, and tbh a better one is unlikely to come up again very soon on the Iow. Yet it is not a promotion - more of a sideways move but to a smaller company. (DH is excited by working in a smaller company - bigger fish in a small pond I guess, but not so excited by a sideways move. He's ambitious, although if he could give up work he would!) DH earns very well here (Thames Valley), all in he's bringing home 100k a yr. This job would be 50-60k. I'm a SAHM who earns a few k by doing tutoring, I would intend to carry this on, but not take on more hours until DD was at established at school (and we'd like more kids).

Of course we can survive on 50-60k, we know that. Much of our current income goes into savings and we could use this to fund the move/house. But we would definitely have to watch our spending and cut out some nice luxuries such as holidays abroad which we have enjoyed.

Just looking for opinions, this is a luxury problem to have, I know that. But has anyone made this type of move and regretted it? I alternate between excitement and wanting to go for it, and thinking we should stick here. I guess this is what life-changing decisions can do to you! We have a nice life here, and many friends, who I would be sad to leave. Yet I dream of the life we could make for ourselves by the seaside, as well as being closer to family.

I think the main questions for me would be schools (primary and secondary, by reputation not great but I would do more research) and also if your DH is ambitious the opportunities in the IOW would be very restricted going foward. If he is in his late 40s then I would say go for it, if he is 10 years younger then I just think career wise he may end up very frustrated and join the commuters from the Island.

Is the job quite secure OP? Job prospects over here are horrendous.

Thanks all, for your advice and suggestions.

Hi islandlady, glad you like it over there! I agree - its a very decent salary for the island. I also agree about the cost of living. Having said that I get Ocado delivered to me here which I won't be able to do there, so I'll save some money there!!!

House prices on the island are cheaper than what we are in now. Having said that, we are in a reasonably priced area of Berkshire and may end up swapping like for like on the house front - it depends exactly what we go for. So i don't envisage the mortgage reducing (although we don't have a massive mortgage). Thats been part of my concern - especially when interest rates rise (which will happen eventually)!

Fiddledee hits on the second part of my concern which is DH and his ambitions, he is 31. He tells me he works to live but I know he enjoys his job and it is important to him. But the opportunity he's been offered could develop into something exciting. He does want to live somewhere with good mainland links so his options are open because of the risk factor. In long term he dreams about running his own business (pipe dream!) which could work over there.

I'm not concerned over schools. In fact I like the fact that few schools are oversubscribed. Initially we are looking at Ryde and on the face of it I'm happy with all the primary schools there. The island's secondary schools aren't amazing - but I went to one and came out the other side and have done pretty well (if i do say so myself!). its also difficult to say what will happen re secondary schools within the next 10 yrs! To me home/family life is the more important factor.

Humperdink - good luck with the move! (we are in Berks, not London!) Having lived on the island for 15 yrs previous I know I can handle it, also living near the ferry means its easy for a quick trip off.

Yes we believe the job is secure - as far as you could say for any company in the current climate (although he hasn't been formally offered it yet - but DH is confident!)

i was just like you: desperate to live by the sea. It ain't all it's cracked up to me; sleepy villages are just that, and many rude locals who think we're snobs because we're 'not from round 'ere'. The sea is fucking cold 75 % of the year, and the other 25% you'll be envying the holiday makers who get to go home after 2 weeks. Not to mention the chill winds most of the time. Can't wait to move back to the city, albeit not the one i came from!

Life is too short for what if. he sounds like he wants it so will work hard to be a success, you want the possible quality of life. You will be paying less tax on the lower income and will your house payments be less? Better to give it a go as you oth sound positive than to be 50 and regret moving

I think Im jealous-! A DH on £100k at only 31 years of age... genuinely how did he do it?

Intergalactic, that's so sad :( I feel totally the opposite - hugely smug that I get to live here all year round. I love the beach in winter too (and I'm not going swimming until next month at the very earliest!)

House-swap for holidays. Brilliant idea!

Be careful which bits of Ryde you end up in. It isn't good on a Friday and Saturday night.

I went to Ryde High School - I did come through the experience with qualifications but I can't say I enjoyed it. This was some time ago though, it might be better there now.

Coco - I'm not really sure! Of course its partly luck but he is a hard worker and a 'high-flyer'.

Intergalatic - where are you? I've never found that attitude (the you're not an islander attitude) on the island, everyone welcoming. We don't plan to live in a sleepy village, although I did grow up in one!

I love the beach in winter too. favourite thing to do at christmas is walk along the beach.

I live in Ryde.

Actually the top of Ryde in Haylands best of both worlds with the countryside behind me and 20 mins walk in to Ryde proper (we dont drive)

I actually like Ryde, although I dont go there on a Friday or Saturday night

There is such a terrific sense of community here, I lived in South London all my life and never even spoke to my neighbours- been here just over a year and due to a stint in a Ryde Charity shop whilst I was looking for a job now know loads of people- cant walk down Ryde High Street without someone saying hello.

BTW if you do move dont buy the house for sale on the Strand thats mine when I win the lottery

Oh BTW we did just that walk along the beach on Christmas day - then into the weatherspoons pub for hot choccie

I live in Porsmouth. I would say go for it.

I know Ryde well and like it too - I went to the High School too and I've been out there on a Fri/Sat night many a time! so I know exactly where we may and may not live. Don't worry islandlady - I wouldn't live on the Strand for the flooding risk! Maybe you haven't been there long enough to see that street underwater when the pumping station fails!! :D That has happened quite afew times.

Oh gawd yes it did it last year Simeon street got flooded, I forgot - too busy on the same day surfing in Sandown.

Where would you live in Ryde??

I'm from the island too! But we moved away when we were teens to Devon cos of the schools.....I remember my mum telling me not that long ago that they were rated second worst in the country after Tower Hamlets??! Not sure where she read that but made me not want to move back! Tourists not too bad - far worse in the West Country! BUT I loved living by the sea as a child and I so have fantastic memories of my childhood at Colwell Bay - it is a lovely place and a great place for kids, but possibily not so much for teens...but I think any rural place is the same. Good luck with the move!

I feel compelled to sound a note of caution.

Does the new job offer opportunities for your DH to grow - and to grow his salary to his present level in the not too distant future? Does smaller company equal less job security and/or less job satisfaction, or is it a small but dynamic organisastion with ambitions that extend further than the IOW?

Does your DH consider that a salary drop of 50% is not something he may have cause to regret if his new employment doesn't work out to his satisfaction, and/or he feels compelled to look elsewhere for increased job satisfaction/advancement?

Your DH sounds like a go-getter, and I'd be a tad concerned that downsizing or compromising his ambitions at this early stage in his life may not be the right move for him in the longer term. .

Although I have no doubt that you will inititally enjoy island life, I wonder how you will feel if/when the novelty wears off.

Speaking from my own experience, some places are best kept as fond memories.

Can I thankyou to everyone who's responded, either positively or with some caution! Both are very useful and helping us to think hard about it. This has been the dream for a long time - but when it becomes a realistic possibility is when you really start to evaluate your life and what you want.

Izzy you do hit on some interesting things which we have been considering. The company is a 'small and dynamic' one, we are convinced by job security and it certainly has the potential for DH to grow his role there, which was touched on in discussions with them. However its hard to say about the salary, but I don't think it could get to the same level as he's on now, simply because his current company overpays even for the Thames Valley, and this is a good salary for the IoW. So we need to make sure a paycut is acceptable to us to live by the sea now and not expect it to rise to those levels again. This is a concern to me - not because I don't think we can live on a lower income, but because DH has always been driven by money, and chose his career path based on how much money he could make (rather than enjoyment). So it does worry me that specifically the drop in salary could affect him a lot. In contrast i am not money driven at all, I have never earnt much and have chosen my career path based on how much i enjoy it.

Schools is an interesting point. Certainly if you look at the league tables the schools are not special at all. But there is more to a school than their results, and you have to remember they do not draw from a population like schools say in the south east do, this does make a difference to their results but it does not mean they are bad schools. Obviously as a product of the island school system I'm not going to say they are really rubbish!!

islandlady i'll pm - don't want to get into specific details here!

If you do move here you will find some of the planning and council decisions
amazing - did you know that to save money they have closed all the tourist information shops and most of the public loos - seems they dont want tourists here any more.
And this is really stupid.
Swanmore middleschool is closing due to the new 2 tier system, to get more room at Ryde High they are closing Haylands primary and moving it to the Swanmore site BUT they are going to tear down Swanmore and build a new school on the playing field oppositeand sell the Swanmore plot for housing.

So playing fields that are used regulary will be destroyed and housing (that no one can afford ) will be built - crazy huh?

I know very little about the IoW but we're looking at moving 'back home' to Devon, though I don't work, and DH is self employed, in essence it would be fairly easy to move and be in the same situation as here. In reality, it would mean DH being away from home a lot more.

PLus my FIL needs us, he has alzheimers and any move would have to conisder what is best for him (would he come with us or stay put, if so we'd have to be able to afford to visit at leat one week in 3) and at the current time, its just not a move we could make with clear conscience.

As for cost of living though, I do feel based on past experience of the area that we'd get more for our money in Devon. The lifestyle by the coast is wonderful, if you don't mind walking on the beach in the rain. So because I can't make MY move just yet, I want to cheer you on for your move!!

I had a wonderful childhood by the sea, and if I could give my children that and that alone, it would be worth it. If your DH is ambitious, a side step career wise might actually give him new objectives, and a whole new drive.

Thanks aldimwhore - good luck with your potential move! What you say about giving your children the childhood you had by the sea is so much of my own feeling. DH grew up in the midlands and has always wanted to live by the sea.

Islandlady - it is sad. Thats the trouble when the council are trying to save money, which I suppose is the real motivation over going to a 2 tier system and reducing the number of school sites.