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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have behaved like this

14 replies

Mrstearful · 21/05/2011 22:31

I was out for lunch with Dh and dcs - we sat in the garden of the restaurant next to a table with a boy of about 19 who I think had cerebal palsy and his dad, they were having a good time and both laughing. I am pregnant with dc3 and I admit to bring a bit emotional looking at then. All of a sudden the not starting fitting - this is obviously quite a common occurs for him as the dad was very calm - I held his head still whilst the dad moved the wheelchair back from the table and the fit was short lived, self terminating and the boy became postictal so the dad carried on with his meal while the his son slept. I am a nurse so see fitting a lot but i sat back down and started shaking with emotion and the tears kept coming so I had to go inside to the toilet. I don't know why I was crying I think it was that their lunch together that was ruined and the Dads stoic acceptance of the situation, and the fact that i am pregnant and know how fragile life is, maybe a bit selfishly worrying about having a dc with a disability I think the dad saw me crying and I feel so bad that I behaved in this way. He said bye when they left by which time the son had woken up and had been watching my children and waving at them. Do you think the dad would have been disappointed with my behaviour?

OP posts:
Mrstearful · 21/05/2011 22:33

Sorry for typos - can't really use the phone keypad that well.

OP posts:
Bumfuzzle · 21/05/2011 22:34

No. I am sure he wouldn't have been.

loverboys · 21/05/2011 22:35

i am sure the dad was aware of your hormonal state, being pregnant. im also sure he was grateful you were there to help. you said he was stoic, well he probably deals with this on a regular basis and it is commonplc for him. it is probably also common for him to see people reactions to it. im assuming you told him you were a nurse. in any event he would have put it down to your pregnancy and as you say your sensitivity to 'life' and all that is precious in it. go easy on yourself and worry no more, you did a good thing today

duckdodgers · 21/05/2011 22:37

No I dont think so, I can understand your emotions.

cuttingpicassostoenails · 21/05/2011 22:38

Perfectly understandable. Pregnancy did weird things to my emotional reactions in all sorts of situations. I used to cry during News at Ten!

Bohica · 21/05/2011 22:38

I don't think the dad would be disappointed with you at all, you helped him out instead of just sitting there & staring.

I worked in emergency care for years & hevae seen/heard some pretty gruesome situations & always managed to hold my emotions but outside of work I am completly different, I have my mummy hat & not my work hat on.

It is hard to see how others deal with major things everyday.

Salmotrutta · 21/05/2011 22:39

Well, I would think the Dad probably was very grateful for your help and if he saw your tears probably just thought that you were a warm-hearted person who was sensitive to others.
Don't feel bad - you helped them. Smile

manicbmc · 21/05/2011 22:39

I think the fact that you helped and understood will have made his day. I'll never forget the security lady who helped me calm ds when he had a total meltdown in John Lewis once. I felt completely embarrassed at not being able to handle him on my own. Ds is at the severe end of ASD. Makes me feel emotional to think of it and I'm not a crying person.

ashamedandconfused · 21/05/2011 22:40

normal reaction to a shock IMO, and pg hormones dont help!

Bohica · 21/05/2011 22:40

I have no excuse for my typos as I'm on my well loved lappy

DontHassleTheBOF · 21/05/2011 22:43

I'm sure he didn't think badly of you.

Nobody saw that, right?

manicbmc · 21/05/2011 22:43

Saw what?

Mrstearful · 21/05/2011 22:48

Thanks for your kindess - am crying again about it - need to get a grip. The dad seemed like such a lovely man getting his son's pizza boxed up and laughing that he had slept through lunch but he had a sad look too.

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pineapple70 · 21/05/2011 23:15

Of course he wouldn't ha minded. You were great and helped out. You're pg and stuff ike people's stoicism is bound to make you blub.
He prob just thought, oh what a nice kind pregnant lady I met today!!

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