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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This is a strange reward system in school

8 replies

OneDove · 20/05/2011 23:11

Ok so at my DD state primary they have introduced a 'Tea Party' with the Head. Certain children are selected to have Tea with the Head in recognition of 'trying really hard'. They are given cake, sweets, juice etc.
I just think this is a weird way to reward the children? Potentially the quieter children may not be ' invited' as they dont speak up as much as the more confident kids? My daughter thought it was a birthday party and she wasn't invited. She was a upset about it. Do I say something to the Head?
Just canvassing opinion really.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 20/05/2011 23:15

OMG I wonder if it's the same school as my son's lol!

I think it's a great idea. It's not just for trying really hard..it's for all sorts of things like encouraging other children, politeness etc. They have to collect a certain amount of points in my son's school to win a place at the teaparty.

slartybartfast · 20/05/2011 23:16

hopefully ALL children will get the chance, same with all reward systems.
they are rewarded for all sorts, being polite, etc., tis a nice idea. as long as all chldren get a chance

AgentZigzag · 20/05/2011 23:24

There's a 'reward' system at DD1s school, but it's all done so everyone gets a turn.

Yours sounds like the captains table Grin

ShellyBoobs · 20/05/2011 23:26

My DD's school does something similar, although theirs is a lunch with the Head before the Christmas holiday.

DD was invited last time and as far as I'm aware in her case it was reward for being particularly kind to others. If it was the case that the quieter ones didn't get invited then DD definitely wouldn't have been there; I don't think there's a quieter girl in her school (which isn't a good thing in many ways, I know).

So, in my opinion YABU for thinking it's a bad thing. But that's based upon my (well, DD's) experience, and assumptions about what your DD's school is trying to do.

NulliusInVerba · 20/05/2011 23:42

Oh bless :( thats sad she thought she wasnt invited to a birthday party.

Just explain to her thats not what it is, the other children are not leaving her out etc.

Doubt the school would change it tbh. It seems a bit odd to me, yes, but if it works they will use it. Hopefully all the children get a chance.

worraliberty · 20/05/2011 23:47

What is it you want to say to the Head about it OP? Do you want to ask them to explain it again to your child so she knows it's not a Birthday party or do you want them to explain the rules and explain how she can earn enough points/rewards to go?

Original poster
OneDove · 20/05/2011 23:52

I think a better explanation to the children. My DD clearly misunderstood and thought she was left out. It seems a bit arbitrary in the definition of who deserves to attend. A points system would make sense more. My DD tries hard, but isn't one to shout out in class.

OP posts:
crystalglasses · 20/05/2011 23:53

I just hope teachers keep a record is kept of who gets invited/rewarded so that the same children don't keep getting invited or left out.

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