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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel sad that none of ds's stuff gets displayed in class?

126 replies

emkana · 20/05/2011 23:04

He's nearly five and in reception. Not one of his things has been displayed in class so far. He has special needs and can't draw or write anything recognisable, but he enjoys the scribbling/Mark-making that he does and I just think they could just once put one of his pieces up?

OP posts:
Original poster
emkana · 21/05/2011 19:21

Would it be better to see the teacher or the senco do you think?

OP posts:
worraliberty · 21/05/2011 19:24

I think the teacher first just to find out the facts...and then the SENCO if you're still unhappy about the targets your child has been set and anything else you're unhappy about relating to his SN.

Then, if you find you're still unhappy from a 'school policy' point of view, it's time to speak to the Head and the other Governors.

wikolite · 21/05/2011 19:30

I still don't really see the issue regarding the pictures, the best ones get displayed and the rest don't. I would be far more concerned about his exclusion from assembly, that does sound very dodgy

worraliberty · 21/05/2011 19:34

wikolite the point is, the displays are usually (or should be) the best work produced by each pupil...in other words kids doing their absolute best despite others being more talented than them.

Even the OP doesn't know if her child was excluded from assembly. It's still possible the child didn't want to take part...hence the need for a chat to the teacher.

Original poster
emkana · 21/05/2011 19:34

But if you have a child whose very best effort is never going to amount that much, shouldn't you reward that theybreally really tried?

OP posts:
Original poster
emkana · 21/05/2011 19:37

Re the assembly - ds wouldn't have the understanding to know what taking part in assembly entails, so it's pointless to say he might have opted out. But I know that had he been given something to do with the class TA's help he would have loved the attention And sense of responsibility.

OP posts:
bidibidi · 21/05/2011 19:38

Absolutely correct, Emkana. Children's work should not be displayed very selectively. It's about recognising group participation, too.

worraliberty · 21/05/2011 19:42

Again re the assembly, it's really not something you'll ever get to the bottom of without speaking to the teacher. For all you know, he could have been set to do just that but had an 'off moment' and they didn't want to force him. There could be 101 reasons why.

bidibidi · 21/05/2011 19:43

I never had the impression in DC primary schools that "only the best" work got displayed. It always seemd like everybody's was in there. Usually among so many, hard to find my own DC's, but that was fine. I'd feel very strange if only the "best" were on show. Why? It's about praising participation and effort, children who are "the best" get loads of extra praise in other ways, anyway.

southofthethames · 21/05/2011 19:50

YANBU - ask his teacher to put up his stuff from time to time. After all, Jackson Pollock's art is a bit like that and lots of people love it :-) . Most primary schools I know pin up efforts from the almost if not actually the whole class (taking turns ) rather than a few "best" ones.

ScousyFogarty · 21/05/2011 19:53

changing the subject a little. I heard about a London school which puts up tables every months showing top and bottom children This must be hurtful to the child at or near the bottom. I gather it is controversial

Original poster
emkana · 21/05/2011 21:04

So sorry about this revealing by stealth, keep thinking about it.

Ds is not toilet-trained, for a variety of reasons. Even though this has been talked about with the senco and the teacher quite a few times they still make no effort to encourage him to go to the toilet once a day - he would go if prompted.

OP posts:
worraliberty · 21/05/2011 21:18

That must be awful for your son Sad

How do you know this? Has your son told you they don't prompt him?

Original poster
emkana · 21/05/2011 21:19

Yes he tells me when asked and also they say it - "we must get round to establishing a routine"

OP posts:
worraliberty · 21/05/2011 21:23

Well then to answer your earlier question I'd say you definitely need a meeting with the teacher and the SENCO at the same time.

If you're not feeling too assertive or if your emotions get the better of you, it's always a good idea to write down the things you want to ask before you go there. Also, you might want to bring someone else along for support.

Good luck, hope there's a happy outcome for all Smile

moondog · 21/05/2011 21:24

You need to stop thinking and worrying, bite the bullet and get a plan of action together.
They sound useless frankly.

One of these would help enormously with establishing a routine.

moondog · 21/05/2011 21:25

Are you toilet training?
You need to work together.

Variation is method is the biggest obstacle to failed interventions.
Decide on what you will do and get everyone on board.

MintyMoo · 21/05/2011 21:54

emkana - Ds is not toilet-trained, for a variety of reasons. Even though this has been talked about with the senco and the teacher quite a few times they still make no effort to encourage him to go to the toilet once a day - he would go if prompted

:(

I had the same problem - wet myself in class because one horrid teacher didn't like how often I went to the toilet (I had lots of bladder related medical problems, she was aware of this - Mum had told the school they needed to just let me go asap when I needed to) and refused to acknowledge me when I put my hand up so I shouted out that I needed the loo. She refused on grounds that I hadn't put my hand up...

Mum went apeshit. I'm so saddened to hear that 20 years later and teachers are still not getting it that some children have additional needs they need to cater for :(

pinkstarlight · 22/05/2011 00:14

that is sad my child is also special needs but when he was in primary school he often had his best work put up on the wall.

pigletmania · 22/05/2011 00:30

There are other SN related issues that need to be adressed here, the picture hanging sounds the least of it tbh, you need to see both the SENCO and teacher or your son will continue suffering, you don't want that right!

thejaffacakesareonme · 22/05/2011 00:45

I'd speak to the teacher about it. Is DS aware of it? On the last three occasions I have been to the school I haven't seen my DS's work displayed. He has never mentioned it to me but I'm starting to get a bit pissed off about it. He isn't special needs but isn't very good at all at art and I can't help but suspect that the pictures that are displayed are chosen on the basis of artistic ability. I try to make up for it by putting lots of his pictures up in our house. I wonder if although he hasn't mentioned it if he is aware that none of his pictures are displayed and if this is having an effect on his confidence. If I can't see anything on display at the next parents night I'll ask his teacher to point out something that he has done that is on display.

samels001 · 22/05/2011 00:53

hi emkana, just wanted to empathise. DS is in Yr 1 and has only done show and tell once this whole academic year. Only 5 groups in the class so each group should get 1 go every half-term logically. Funny how the "supported" group who perhaps need to do show and tell more than others don't get that chance. Yet the pushy older girls every week bring in stuff to show. If we can see that it is potentially damaging to these childrens esteem and confidence why can't their teachers?

heleninahandcart · 22/05/2011 01:02

YANBU This brought a tear to my eye, heartbreaking. Yes please see the senco or class teacher, don't be fobbed off with 'action plans for next term' 'review next term' etc

JackyJax · 22/05/2011 08:39

As a teacher myself, I'd be mortified to think I'd upset a child, especially one with Special Needs, by overlooking their work. I'd welcome a parent coming to me directly. I'd be really annoyed though if they took it over my head eg to SENCO. Only take it higher if you've already given the teacher a chance to sort it out.

Teachers are not perfect. I'd far rather you had a (nice please!) word with me and we sorted it out together. Ultimately I just want the best for all of the children I teach so the parent and I should be on the same side.
Think about how to phrase it, arrange a time then go and see the teacher.

Good luck!

Nitewatcher · 08/11/2022 22:20

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