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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think that men are so shallow!

11 replies

KittySpencer · 20/05/2011 20:36

I've recently lost a fair bit of weight. Whilst by no means thin (yet! maybe in 6 months) most of the weight has come off my waist, probably making me look thinner than I am - and having a waist for the first time in many years, I'm also now wearing fitted rather than shapeless/loose clothes.

Have had 3 meetings at work this week, in each one colleagues (both peers and those more senior to me) have been almost tripping over each other to fetch me a drink, engage me in conversation, and generally be about a million times more pally with me than they ever would have been a few months ago.

I'm no better at my job now (worse if anything as I seem to be getting away with doing less), I behave no differently towards them, yet the difference in their attitudes is amazing.

Just can't believe how totally shallow they seem to be. Women wouldn't behave like this surely? I'm fairly sure I wouldn't.....:)

OP posts:

HumperdinkFangboner · 20/05/2011 20:38

well I don't think ALL men are shallow.

Well done on your weight loss.

worraliberty · 20/05/2011 20:38

Are you sure you're not just paranoid?

Well done on the weight loss but this does seem a little odd that all these people are now tripping over themselves to get you drinks and chat to you because of it?

BooyHoo · 20/05/2011 20:39

dont be ridiculous.

FoofffyShmoofffer · 20/05/2011 20:42

Yabu not all of them.

Also, do you not think that maybe you are exuding a new confidence with your new you? It could be that that is pulling them in your direction.

bettiboo · 20/05/2011 20:42

I agree with Humperdink, I do think that lots of men are shallow but there's nothing wrong with appreciating someone being (or feeling) attractive. I get much more attention when I'm thinner, that is just a fact and I'm by no means fat. Just because men appreciate an attractive woman doesn't mean they want to jump into bed with her or even be in a relationship. I'm envious of your new waistline. Keep up the good work and take the attention for what it is. I bet you simply look beautiful.

BluddyMoFo · 20/05/2011 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ilovesooty · 20/05/2011 20:44

Nothing like a spot of stereotyping.

BluddyMoFo · 20/05/2011 20:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DurhamDurham · 20/05/2011 20:46

My dh isn't shallow but I am. I would notice you had lost weight and congratulate you, my dh wouldn't notice unless you had lost half your previous body weight. maybe not even then

Original poster

KittySpencer · 20/05/2011 20:46

I probably should have said some men. I am a cynical singleton, so tend to tar all men with the same brush. I'm sure there are some nice, non-shallow ones somewhere :)

And of course there may be many reasons for their sudden change in attitude towards me - seriously before they barely acknowledged my existence. But the only thing about me that has changed is my weight. I don't feel more confident necessarily, although maybe it's subconscious?...

OP posts:

DurhamDurham · 20/05/2011 20:56

If they know you are single some of them may be attracted to you. They might be single too so where's the harm in them paying some attention. It's unfortunate you were not given this attenton before but I think maybe you do give off a more confident air now. You must have been a bit unhappy with your weight to want to shed some of it and that might have been apparent to other people. Men and women.

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