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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to ask if you use state or private education

1001 replies

manicinsomniac · 20/05/2011 17:22

Sorry, I know it's a little rude and personal but I only ask because I think that only 7-8% of the children in the UK are privately educated yet on mumsnet it seems to be massively higher than that which I find interesting.

So, if I'm not being too unreasonable to ask, do/did/will you use private or state education for your child/ren?

OP posts:
AllyBallyBe · 21/05/2011 10:37

We have 3 DC all at state primary. Lovely small village school. Socially it's great but academically not great. My view is that a lot of class time is taken up managing behaviour and helping children with additional needs which leaves less time for academic learning than it would do at private school. I try to compensate by encouraging DC to get engaged in small home projects. And by encouraging clubs like Brownies, music lessons, sports. But at state school they certainly learn about the real world and experience a variety of children/people which is very valuable. But for secondary we hope to go private.

exoticfruits · 21/05/2011 10:37

I always fail to understand why the intelligent deserve better schools and the rest can be dumped in second best!

TheBride · 21/05/2011 10:37

therefore you want more secondary moderns Converse-or are you just assuming your DC will pass? What happens when you have 2 children, one who passes and one who doesn't? Very common.

I guess they'd just go to different schools. Hardly a train smash situation. Happened all the time.

Bunbaker · 21/05/2011 10:38

"IMHO the best investment you can make in your child."

It probably is, but although we could have used all of our savings on DD's education we wouldn't be able to fund her through university.

TheBride · 21/05/2011 10:38

Why are you assuming secondary moderns would be "worse"?

chubsasaurus · 21/05/2011 10:41

bunbaker despite private education from 3-18 I have a student loan like everyone else still to pay off. I won't be paying for my DCs university and luckily under new system they won't either unless they earn over £21k.

Grammar schools are tricky becuase 11 is fairly young to separate the smart from the less so but surely academic ability is a better way to demarcate than parental income.

MoreBeta · 21/05/2011 10:41

exoticfruits - to answer your question.

I would like a good state school in our area which is selective and streamed with good facilities and good standards of discipline where children who are reasonably academic can learn. We used to call them 'the local grammar school' and they were not the intensely selective exam factories they are today that people travel 50 miles to and coach their kids to death to get into.

exoticfruits · 21/05/2011 10:47

Would you want your DC to go to one thebride?!! I went to one-of course it wasn't as good-it wasn't geared up for university, it didn't have a 6th form. Those of us (hundreds of thousands)who went that route had a much harder struggle.
I have a friend who is a twin, (nothing between them academically) one passsed and one didn't-it certainly made a difference to their relationship.
11 yrs is far too young to make long term decisions on education.
I can't tell you how many people took a grammar school place and left at 16yrs!

exoticfruits · 21/05/2011 10:49

We used to call them 'the local grammar school' and they were not the intensely selective exam factories they are today that people travel 50 miles to and coach their kids to death to get into.

True. At least it used to be on ability in the old days-now it is down to pushy parents! 'Not suitable grammar school material-get a tutor from yr 3'!!

I love comprehensive schools. Our area has excellent ones.

TheBride · 21/05/2011 11:00

Would you want your DC to go to one thebride?!! I went to one-of course it wasn't as good-it wasn't geared up for university

If they weren't university material, I wouldn't care. Far too many people go to university in the UK anyway. Most of them don't have the aptitude for it and would be far better off not being pushed into it by the current "one size fits all" system.

LondonMother · 21/05/2011 11:03

Mixture.

Community nursery school - brilliant.

Community primary school - did very well by both of them. It was roughly in the middle of the SATS league table for our Inner London borough and class sizes were 25-30, but there was plenty of support for children struggling and for children who were whizzing through the syllabus. It had an intake that matched the very diverse area pretty closely, in terms of social background, ethnicity and spread of abilities.

Unfortunately when it comes to secondary school, not many of our local comprehensives get an intake like that. So:

At 11 daughter went to girls' comprehensive school. Good school, pastoral care pretty good (much needed), academic results way above average for an inner London comp (and above national average) but not a perfect school by any means. For sixth form she transferred to an independent school, purely because it was the only place she could do the A level subject combination she wanted. It was a very different environment. She would never have got in at 11 (not good enough at tests, particularly maths) and she got some of the lowest A level results in her year but I think it was a very good move in most respects. Daughter loved the fact that everybody there was clever and that working hard was the default option.

At 11 son went to independent boys' school with a scholarship (discount on fees, we still have to find the majority). He's in the sixth form now. It has been absolutely fantastic. We went for that rather than one of our local comprehensives because if he'd gone to one of the ones that could offer him a place he would have been in a tiny minority of boys of his level of ability (to put it bluntly).

At a lot of our local schools there was (it's changing now, I believe) not much going in the way of extra-curricular activity (no interest from pupils) and being bright, well-behaved and hard-working was akin to turning up at school with a tattoo on the forehead saying 'Bully me'. The ones that take more than a handful of bright children per year group are hugely oversubscribed and we didn't get a place at any we applied for.

At the school he goes to, there is a very academic curriculum, vast range of extra-curricular stuff to get involved in (and peer pressure to do so) and because it's a big school the intake is more diverse socially and ethnically than some of the outer London grammar schools we could have sent him to if we'd been prepared to turn him into a long-distance commuter at 11.

You can't generalise across the UK about why people go for private rather than state. It varies so much from place to place, child to child, family to family, school to school. We wouldn't have paid if we could have got what we considered the essential minimum from the state for either child. But we couldn't.

Converse · 21/05/2011 11:03

Yes, I'd agree with Grammars and Secondary Moderns, or perhaps a 3-strand system of Grammars and two other types of school.

Why is it a taboo to have children of like ability educated together?

TheBride · 21/05/2011 11:03

Also, you seem to equate good with "academic" whereas I equate good with "prepares you for life, depending on your skill set"

PeppaPigHonk · 21/05/2011 11:03

Each of our children attend the school that is best for them, state or private.

That means two in state at the mo and one in private. Everyone doing well and happy.

I don't believe state is better nor do I believe private is better. DD is more suited to a strict girls school, DS to a more relaxed co- ed state.

Doing what is right by your child is what counts, IMO.

newpup · 21/05/2011 11:09

State Primary, Private Senior. Although may move DD2 to a private junior for Year 6.

mumto2andnomore · 21/05/2011 11:13

State-no question, hate the idea of them going to private.

chubsasaurus · 21/05/2011 11:17

Why?

Pagwatch · 21/05/2011 11:25

Peppapig
I completely agree.

But you can't do private and state without plumbing the depths of little lord fauntleroys avoiding the plebe and knife wielding hoodies with disinterested parents. Where would be the fun in that?

Grin
PeppaPigHonk · 21/05/2011 11:28

Grin at Pagwatch!

I don't get the not believing in private either.
People are quite entitled to spend their money as they want, surely? And most people who choose private ed do so with some sacrifice. You should see the battered cars!

JoanofArgos · 21/05/2011 11:55

I've looked and looked, but I've never seen those much-vaunted battered cars, I have to say.

Jenstar21 · 21/05/2011 11:56

I said I didn't believe in private. What I really should have said was I believe all education should be free. It's turning into a priviledge, and not a right, and that scares me. Yes, I'm probably classed as a bit of a lefty, but I see no reason why kids shouldn't be able to achieve their potential, irrespective of background. I know it's idealistic, but it is truly what I believe.

sue52 · 21/05/2011 11:59

The only battered cars I've seen belong to the 6th formers. If you can cough up over £5000 a term out of savings or taxable income, you can afford a decent car.

LondonMother · 21/05/2011 12:02

I believe it too, Jenstar, but if we'd waited for our local schools to be of the required standard for my son to reach his potential, he'd have been past school age. No mainstream political party is going to do anything to touch private education and all parties are committed to increasing parental 'choice'. Social mobility is the inevitable casualty.

manicinsomniac · 21/05/2011 12:39

The results of my highly unscientific survey:

State Education - 57
Private Education - 25
A Mixture of the two - 31
Home Educating - 3

Hmmm, if you add up Private and Mixture then the amount of people using Private in some way is almost equal to those using only State.
So yeah, mumsnet obviously not representative. I wonder why not. Unlikely to be about access to the internet isn't it? Maybe that is a factor ...?

OP posts:
Gooseberrybushes · 21/05/2011 12:46

private

can't afford it but it's worth the sleepless nights

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