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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask if you use state or private education

1001 replies

manicinsomniac · 20/05/2011 17:22

Sorry, I know it's a little rude and personal but I only ask because I think that only 7-8% of the children in the UK are privately educated yet on mumsnet it seems to be massively higher than that which I find interesting.

So, if I'm not being too unreasonable to ask, do/did/will you use private or state education for your child/ren?

OP posts:

2BoysTooLoud · 23/05/2011 10:53

Ooh Gooseberry - leave me alone!!
I do feel a bit of a loser sometimes re my lack of success financially but hey ho.
I am happy at moment with school 'choice' but due to my 'status' don't have choice!
Waiting with trepidation for your response.. .

JoanofArgos · 23/05/2011 10:55

I suppose I give up trying to argue, because whatever you say in discussions like this someone else will just say 'my money my choice, why are you so bothered', and it gets frustrating!

I don't think I've been especially snipe-y, to be honest! I just doubt that KM would have ended up royal if she'd been to a local comp, which I think is a reasonable thing to notice!

Gooseberrybushes · 23/05/2011 10:57

oh gawd I've overstepped something, don't want you to be upset

2BoysTooLoud · 23/05/2011 10:57

Agree Joan.. I agree.
Kate would just be a princess in her dreams..

Gooseberrybushes · 23/05/2011 10:57

well yes joan but so what? I mean, so flipping what if she wouldn't

Gooseberrybushes · 23/05/2011 10:58

that's hardly a reason for closing many of the best schools in the country, is it?

2BoysTooLoud · 23/05/2011 10:58

Is is alright Gooseberry. Off to Tescos soon to buy some nice cheap cava to sooth my nerves..

exoticfruits · 23/05/2011 10:59

I think that you would find her local comprehensive for Bucklebury, Berkshire is a very good one! (sheer guess, knowing the area). They will be sending pupils to all the top universities-including St Andrews.

BunnyWunny · 23/05/2011 11:01

I don't really understand this thing about 'not believing' in certain school systems. You don't get anyone 'not believing' in state schools. Weird thing to say.

Anyway, I don't fully agree with the idea of grammer schools, but there is a grammer school system in place in the area we live in. Therefore I would be disadvantaging my dd if I didn't give her the opportunity to go there if she wanted to simply because I 'don't believe' in it. Isn't that the same with private schools? If the private school was better, and we could afford it I would send my child there, I did look around and decided she would be better at the state primary as I liked their teaching methods better.

JoanofArgos · 23/05/2011 11:01

Sigh.

You said that people don't use private schools so their kids can marry Dukes.
I observed in return that it's still only the ones who do, who will.
It really wasn't a key argument in my arsenal, other than that it underlines the extent to which the private sector perpetuates and exacerbates social divisions I suppose.
And yes, I would also get rid of the Dukes in the first place, were I ever to be allowed in charge!

OliPolly · 23/05/2011 11:08

2 at private. It was more by accident first time but school fits our DCs. We are in grammar area but we are likely to go private at secondary even if kids pass 11plus.

exoticfruits · 23/05/2011 11:09

I agree with BunnyWunny-choose the school best suited to your DC. The choice is fairly limited for the majority.
(If you are lucky enough to have the full choice look at it all)

Converse · 23/05/2011 11:13

Me too!

"If only I had money converse.. if only.."

bidibidi · 23/05/2011 12:58

Many in The American Tea Party don't "believe" in state run schools.

Gandalfthedyed · 23/05/2011 14:40

We are in a funny position. We can afford private but choose state at the moment as the local primary is superb.
I would prefer to use state right the way through but will most likely choose private at secondary.

DH is ambivalent about private because he is one of those jammy bastards that went to a sink comp but is a bloody genius and managed to get a first from a top five, a PhD and a fuck off job earning a fortune.

Just think what he might have done if he'd gone to St Badgers of Badgerswick

Blu · 23/05/2011 14:50

"and - most odious of all to most of the left and those against private - I made excellent contacts for my chosen profession which have been beyond useful now."

And there we have it. The acknowledgement that those from a private school system (like those now running the country) will educate and use contacts, bypassing equal opportunities and a meritocracy that enables social mobility, at every possible turn.

You need to buy your way into a good job via school fees?

That, frankly, would not make me proud.

motherinferior · 23/05/2011 14:54

I dunno, Blu, it's quite a compliment that only we on the left are being attributed a basic sense of justice and morality....

Blu · 23/05/2011 14:56

Indeed.

Gandalfthedyed · 23/05/2011 15:04

If you need contacts to get on, you must be pretty shit is all I can say.
DH is top of the game, crappy state school. Nobody has ever asked him what school he went to. They are far more interested in which university. But in his industry most people have firsts and PhD's so what minor public school you went to pales into insignificance.

seeker · 23/05/2011 15:06

There's quite a lot of us, Gandalfthedyed. And your dp is by no means alone.

cantspel · 23/05/2011 15:08

Contacts are used everyone not just the rich and powerful via the private school system.

A friend of mine with a child due to leave his bog standard comp this summer is using her contacts to get her son an apprentership.
I know many a lad who would love this chance but wont get a look in as the job isn't open to all to apply but ear marked for my friends lad.

In real life people use whatever advantage they can whether it be paying for an education or pulling a favor from a relative/friend.

motherinferior · 23/05/2011 15:09

DP's aunt told me how her precious son 'would never have got to where he is today' without his v posh education. I did sort of point out that yes he went to Imperial, but er so did one of my mum's pupils at the absolute sink comp she taught at. (She taught English, it wasn't as a result of her that he went there!)

DP's mum had more sense than to try that one on me, as her sons were expensively privately educated but I went to Oxford and they didn't. Useful things, Oxford degrees, in these conversations.

KnobCheese · 23/05/2011 15:11

2 private 1 state

both very good, but all choices were made individually with the child's preference considered.

Gandalfthedyed · 23/05/2011 15:11

Quite, Motherinferior.

I also think that if someone implied I'd only got to where I'd got to because mummy and daddy paid for it, I'd be pretty pissed off.

My aunt and uncle sent my thickish cousin to a public school and he went to Oxford with a couple of E's. he floundered and has worked in his low level office job for thirty years.

motherinferior · 23/05/2011 15:11

'In real life people use whatever advantage they can whether it be paying for an education or pulling a favor from a relative/friend'.

I don't believe everyone spends their time 'pulling favors'.

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