to ask if you use state or private education

[manicinsomniac]

Sorry, I know it's a little rude and personal but I only ask because I think that only 7-8% of the children in the UK are privately educated yet on mumsnet it seems to be massively higher than that which I find interesting.

So, if I'm not being too unreasonable to ask, do/did/will you use private or state education for your child/ren?

Chubsaurus - very few parts of the country have grammar schools.

If you feel you would not have done as well at a state school that says quite a bit about you. I know plenty of people who have done as well , if not better, in a state comprehensive. If you need to be in a private school to " succeed" I would question how well you would cope at a decent university .

Yes.

And I would unashamedly have them tutored beforehand to ensure this. I don't think anything is as important as education for both results and the atmosphere/lack of violence, culture of attainment etc

Indeed motherinferior.

Particularly as the 11 plus is in quite a different league from the common entrance.

Peppa - I got a 1st at a top 10 university, a distinction at my Masters and am now doing a PhD. I still don't think I was motivated enough at 16 to have gotten the A level results I did without the school I was at. Luckily this also prepared me for university.

I think perhaps you are overestimating the threat of violence at state schools. My charming teenage babysitters, who attend the school that my own daughters will go to very soon, have never stabbed anyone.

Incidentally, plenty of state school educated kids play a couple of musical instruments. Granted, they don't have Olympic sized pools on hand, but that does not seem to have impeded them in a major way.

both mine private all the way, no question at all

And tutoring won't guarantee passing the 11 plus. Some kids get into grammars, many don't.

I went to a poor secondary school, still managed to come out with great results, in the time there saw very few fights and none of them were "violent" more just pushing and shoving which was soon stopped. We had the opportunity to learn musical instruments if we wanted and I don't really feel the lack of a swimming pool was detrimental to my education really!

Luckily I live in Kent and have the option of Grammar if she is smart enough. I personally feel that if she can get into the Grammar then a private would be a waste of money (the ones here get lower exam results than the Grammars). Although, having been privately educated myself, I know that the downside is things like the extra curricular activities/trips abroad may not be as great the only thing I worry about is behaviour. I do feel private schools clamp down on bad behaviour quickly and am a little worried (although not enough to change my mind). If she doesn't get in to a Grammer then I would be happy to pay for private schooling, as I know that many of the girls in my school got a much better education, from a slightly backwards start, than they would have done elsewhere. IMO they have more facilities for things like spotting dyslexia and smaller classes with teachers who are paid enough to want to make a difference and inspire young minds.

Motherinferior I don't presume all state schools are full of knife wielding criminals, I'm only going on my own experience and think not one act of violence throughout my entire time at school is something pretty special

All that Latin motherinferior and you still haven't mastered the subjunctive.....

I was state educated as my (single) mother simply could not afford it, and she could not work full time due to her bipolar. I hated all of my state schools, and my experiences of them will haunt me for the rest of my life.

I am pretty sure me and DP will never be able to afford private education for our children. I guess I find it slightly sad that in the case of if our children are unhappy at a state school, we could only resort to home education.

Would it be a red flag to the bulls to mention free schools here? Living in West London, I'd love to send my DCs to Toby Young's.

I think learning latin is very important. State schools should teach it.

It is also worth remembering that even if you don't live in a Grammar school area, most private schools offer Bursaries and it is worth seeing if you child can sit the entrance exam and get a full scholarship if they are particularly bright.

If you were spending several tens of thousands of pounds - how would you measure the rate of return? That's the view I took. Does all that money actually manifest itself in better outcomes in terms of future job prospects, earning potential, employment success for the children in your household. I don't think so. I think that the drivers for those are centred in expectations and aspirations set in the home.

Unfortunately we none of us will know the outcome until it is too late. When our children are post university age, for example, will a privately educated child have done any better than a state educated child? You might hope that your 'investment' in school fees would guarantee that, but it is not my experience.

3 here all at state schools, and am happy with the choices we made for them.

I don't have any problem with private schools, and would/did consider private for 6th form, but neither DC was prepared to move from their excellent catholic comp.

On a similar state v private thread recently, I read comments by 2 or 3 posters who had actively chosen to limit the size of their family to 1 child in order to pay for private education.
I thought it was one of the saddest things ever, imagine depriving yourself, and your child, of the richness of more children, and brothers and sisters just to pay for 14 years education, when the family will last for 40 or 50+ years., more when you start adding in grandchildren, cousins etc.
I guess as my eldest is just finishing school I am becoimng much more aware of the what next and it's hard to see that when your child is very young.

I've never done any Latin . My state school to Oxford trajectory (via two musical instruments) did not include it. Ahem.

DH has Latin O level, never used it in his life despite being in a very academic environment.
Mine are learning Mandarin. About the most useful language to learn.

Motherinferior - likewise! Can't remember Oxford being bothered

However, the south east London comp where my daughters will probably go does offer it.

Very true. Private schools can be incredibly sympathetic to personal circumstance, one of my closest friends' parents split up and her mother could no longer afford fees but they kept her on a full bursary because she had potential. The girl went to Oxford and is now a successful lawyer.

manicinsomniac ..I think the reason MN is not representative , is because it seems to be used by parents that live in London or the SE

I live in a comprehensive area, and you would be hard pushed to find anyone who uses private schools

You mean because she had the potential to get results that reflected well on the school and thus lured in more fee-paying pupils.

Mind you I went to Oxford and am now a penniless journalist, so clearly am No Example To Anyone.

I am so sorry, Motherinferior, I meant that to chubsaurus.
.