AIBU?
Party etiquette, am I a total tit?
BenzoBetty · 20/05/2011 11:40
DS (10) play various sports at the weekend and has just started at a new club.
One of the parents gave me an invite to her sons 10th birthday party that had all our names on.
For various reasons DH and I wouldn't be able to go to the party so I asked the mum if I could drop ds off and then pick him up at the end.
She gave me a real
face and then reluctantly said "well ok although its not just a kids party you know" It was clear she wasn't happy with me at all. She wandered off then before I had time to reply.
I feel like a real idiot now. What do I do? Do I just drop him off or not let him go at all?? Was I so unreasonable to ask?
MerylStrop · 20/05/2011 11:47
Ummm
She invited all of you so she was obviously hoping for the party to be an excuse to be a bit more of a gorwn up social affair
You weren't unreasonable to ask but I suppose it depends how you said it. Did you explain/apologise that you and DH wouldn't be able to go?
DurhamDurham · 20/05/2011 11:47
I would find it strange to be invited if I didn't know the family well so I can see your point. However the invite did say all of your names so it was clearly a 'family' event. I don't think you can just drop your son and go, it might appear rude.
At 10 years old it does seem a tad strange to have all the parents there but if thats what she wants to do it's up to her 
alfabetty · 20/05/2011 11:49
Sounds like they are having a big get-together with lots of adults, not a kids' party. In those circumstances, I'd decline the invite altogether - they are not offering to look after your DS as they would for a child's party, they are having a get-together with all their mates and want to relax.
You weren't unreasonable to ask, but I would assume a 'whole family' invite means a larger, mixed do, not 15 ten year olds.
redskyatnight · 20/05/2011 11:53
Maybe the inviting mum is making an effort to invite families so you can all get to know each other (i.e. a nice thing)? In which case I can see how she might be miffed if you just want to drop off your DS (especially if you weren't the first person to tell her you were doing this). If she's trying to do this a bit of explanation would have been good though ... rather than assuming you would imply it.
HazeltheMcWitch · 20/05/2011 12:26
Maybe she was just trying to make friends?
Just be honest - say that you did not realise that it was an invite for the family, but you can't make it. You're really sorry etc, you would have loved to come. And if you like her, suggest coffee?
Unless you have a very good friend who can look after your DS, I'd not send him.
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