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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to feel cross with my DH?

17 replies

monkey32 · 20/05/2011 07:38

I'm currrently 39+2 weeks pregnant with DC3. After I'd gone to bed last night (at a ridiculously early hour due to insomnia) my DH proceeded to drink a bottle and a half of wine. I just feel it's not the most responsible and thoughtful behaviour at this stage of pregnancy.

It's not that I mind him drinking - heaven knows I'm looking forward to drinking a bottle and a half of wine after the baby arrives but the thought of going into labour and having his booze-filled fumes breathing at me during contractions is not appealing.

I'm having a home birth and he doesn't have a driving licence at the moment so there isn't an issue of him needing to drive me to hospital but that's beside the point!

AIBU to feel a bit grumpy with him??

OP posts:

Tortington · 20/05/2011 07:40

seems a lot to drink - i mean dh would be a bit wankered i'm sure - but then he isnt used to drinking wine.

if he was wankered - deffo

WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 20/05/2011 07:44

Does he drink a lot or is this a one off?

nomoreheels · 20/05/2011 07:47

YANBU to be a bit annoyed as you're in late pregnancy & feeling vulnerable etc

I am 38 weeks today so I understand. My DP has had a fair few boozy nights while I sit there sipping cordial... I don't really mind as he's not that incapacitated due to his size - he's quite tall. If he was getting properly legless & was useless that would be another matter. But I have to admit I don't want him to get too pissed this weekend or the next, just in case.

Since you didn't go into labour, let last night pass. He might be blowing off some steam before baby arrives. However it would not be unreasonable to ask him to knock any drinking on the head from now until you have bubs.

SnuffleTurtle153 · 20/05/2011 07:48

I don't think so - I was already in hosptial when labour started (was induced) but when DH got there he stank of fag fumes which made a head already pumped with gas and air absolutely swim. I made him drive to Asda and brush his teeth and spray himself before coming back. So being a bit grumpy isn't too bad!

mumblechum1 · 20/05/2011 07:56

1.5 bottles is alky level imo.

Has he lost his licence through drinking?

JanMorrow · 20/05/2011 08:29

That's a lot of wine to be drinking on your own as your wife sleeps. Do you think he's worried about anything?

chloesmumtoo · 20/05/2011 08:32

YANBU. My dp would not have done that. We try to support each other in situations. When he had problems with his liver (not drink related) we did not buy any alchol for at home. I'm not saying if we were invited out he would not have minded if I drank, as he wouldn't, but I didn't like to much because he couldn't drink and I wanted to support him. Let alone if I was in your situation and so far into pregnacy. I would not have liked it in your situation monkey32. I would have liked to have felt he was totally with it to support me if the time came for baby and after he had drank like that i would feel totally on my own to organise, panic and prepare!! I think it is unthoughtful.

chloesmumtoo · 20/05/2011 08:41

Perhaps JanMorrow is right, maybe he has some worries.

Original poster

monkey32 · 20/05/2011 08:58

Thanks for everyone's reassurance that I am within my rights to feel a bit cross. To be honest that amount of wine is a reasonable amount for either of us to drink - we've always enjoyed our wine! It's the fact that I'm 39 weeks that upsets me. Having said that, I am sure it's pretty hard work living with me at the moment when I'm pretty huge, tired and grumpy, so am feeling more sympathetic towards him than I was first thing. I think he's picked up the vibes that I'm not all that happy as he's being very helpful!

I feel the end of pregnancy is always a bit of a stressful time for the whole family so I guess we just have to hang on in there!

OP posts:

spidookly · 20/05/2011 09:09

Drinking that much wine on your own is worrying.

jeckadeck · 20/05/2011 09:30

a bottle and a half on your own? thats a lot, especially on an ordinary night in... If you can live with that fine, but thats getting into liver damage territory, never mind the implications for your pregnancy. YANBU. Arguably if your DH is stressed he may need the crutch but that is a shedload of booze to be putting away on a non-special night. I can't help wondering, though, why it's suddenly only bothering you now. I would be upset if my DH drank that much anyway, never mind during pregnancy. Without meaning to sound sanctimonious could it be that you are re-appraising your approach to alcohol because of the pregnancy?

Fleurdebleurgh · 20/05/2011 09:32

Tell him to man-up and switch to Scotch. Wine is for wimminz

mumblechum1 · 20/05/2011 09:38

These days, 1.5 bottles of wine is 12 units. That's a ... of a lot of alcohol in one go.

Jjou · 20/05/2011 10:47

YANBU.
When I went into labour with DD, DH was downstairs absolutely ratarsed with his mates. I was upstairs trying to sleep when my waters went and I had to go down and herd them out of the house with DH blabbering shite in the background, then phone the labour ward, phone DFIL to get a lift to the hospital and go in to be monitored. DH rushed around the house saying things like "OMG, I'm going to be a Dad, shall I put a suit on?" It was stressful.

Fortunately for him I didn't have DD that night, and he was sober when she arrived. He admitted later the stress of the impending birth got too much. We laugh about it now, but I was pissed off with him at the time, he would've been USELESS if she'd arrived straight away.

ashamedandconfused · 20/05/2011 10:51

regardles of the fact that you need his support and him to be fully functioning when you go into labour, thats an awful lot to drink, at home, on your own, for no special occassion

how much does he drink in an average week?

harassedinherpants · 20/05/2011 10:54

YANBU...... I'd be fuming. The last thing you want if you had gone into labour was wine-y fumes breathed over you when you needed support!

Dh did this to me when I had an mmc in January. Went out with his mate for a "couple of drinks". I was fine with it, it was an existing arrangement. Turned out it was his mate's dp's birthday and he turned up hours later totally wankered. I was fuming, and in tears. Had only found just found out about the mmc, and still was prg as erpc was the following week. That is actually the worst arguement we've ever had, and we don't argue very often. I went to soft play with two of his db's and their wives and we all slagged him off, was great because it made me realise I wasn't being unreasonable and their support was much needed!

Icelollycraving · 20/05/2011 10:58

Is he worried about another baby? He may not want to show he is worried which is why it was after you had gone to bed (maybe?).
I would mention it,with regards to how helpful he would be after that,let him know you noticed but don't have a row. It's done,don't stress yourself out at this stage!

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