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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to tell my children they are not allowed to get up until 7am?

32 replies

Cutiecat · 20/05/2011 07:05

my DD (4) has started to get up by 6.30 and DH is getting up with her taking her downstairs and letting her and DS (6) watch tv and eat breakfast. I have never done this before the routine has always been that you play in your room until you here that alarm clock, get dressed then we go downstairs. I am not sure why DH is changing the routine but he is not always here and we are about to have another baby.

Last friday they went down at 6.10 and DD was over tired by the end of the day. AIBU to want them to try to sleep until at least 7?

OP posts:

Original poster

Cutiecat · 20/05/2011 07:06

Sorry about spelling mistakes I am a bit cross.

OP posts:

jeckadeck · 20/05/2011 07:21

my mum and dad tried that with me -- even bought me an alarm clock with the hands at seven o'clock stuck on with stickers. YANBU but I have to say it didn't work very well. If they're awake they're awake and asking them to go back to sleep for an extra three quarters of an hour isn't going to cut much ice. Probably best to just accept it.

foreverondiet · 20/05/2011 07:21

YANBU. In our house the rules are that during the week they aren't allowed to get out of bed until 7am weekdays or 8am weekends. DD is 7, DS1 is 5. We've had this policy for a couple of years. DOn't want them to play in room as if DS1 does this it seems to wake DD up (they don't share).

mnistooaddictive · 20/05/2011 07:22

Yanbu, I also have the rule that you play quietly in your room until 7. My 2 are 4 and 2 and they both get this.

MotherOfSuburbia · 20/05/2011 07:28

Wow! I'm lucky if we manage to make it to 6! Can't do playing in room as all 4 are in together.

Original poster

Cutiecat · 20/05/2011 07:29

I am not expecting them to go back to sleep but to play quietly in there rooms. Thank you for your responses.

OP posts:

roisin · 20/05/2011 07:31

My ds2 is a lark and has always got up early, early, early!
Our cut-off is 6am, but he gets up so quietly and doesn't disturb anyone, that I have no clear idea as to whether he sticks to that.

Later on it does have some plus points.
ds2 is 12, but still goes up to bed at 8pm.
In the mornings he get some uninterrupted time to play on the PC. And he also usually does his piano practice before school as well.

TrinityIsAShreddingFatRhino · 20/05/2011 07:33

maybe you dh thought he was helping you to rest by taking them down as soon as they wake to leave you undisturbed?

or maybe you haven't made it completely clear that this is annoying you and you feel he is taking no notice of an already established routine?

aren't they both at school, when do you need to keave, we get up at 6.30 so we can have a relaxed, less stressy morning and leave at 8,30

three girls going to school, 11, 6 and 4, ddiferents bags, needs etc etc

they aren't allowed to wake us before 7.45 on a non school day

LoveBeingAbleToNamechange · 20/05/2011 07:46

But if they are not going back to sleep what does it matter if they play in their rooms or downstairs?

Silverstar2 · 20/05/2011 07:46

YABU but only because we are only talking half an hour or so here. It will all change anyway I expect with a new baby. At age 4 and 6 I would think they are old enough to go quietly downstairs on their own and play/watch tv for a bit until you get up. That's what my two do, although they are coming up 7 and 9 but have done this for several years now.

Unfortunatley, things change, especially with the light mornings, and maybe you just have to go with it. It may change again with the winter. Plus, if DH wants to get up with them - let him, so they will be used to it and can do it on their own when he is not there .

manicinsomniac · 20/05/2011 07:59

No, you're not being unreasonable, 7 is early enough! On the other hand if your husband is willing to take them down earlier and feed them then it's one less thing for you to do and you could get up at 7.15!

In the school holidays one of my work colleagues pays her 9 and 11 year old boys a pound a day for staying in bed (or at least not disturbing her!) till 9am - genius!

PrisonerZero · 20/05/2011 08:02

I bought my DCs an alarm clock (they are 7 and 9) but they usually wake up before it - its set for 7.20am on a school morning. I leave their school clothes on the end of their beds so they get themselves dressed and usually wake me up by chatting or playing so I get up and do breakfast. Even if they are quiet I still wake up as the walls are so thin.

Don't bother setting it at the weekend as they just get up and go downstairs, otherwise I get cross if they wake me up playing in the bedroom as I want a bit of extra sleep (making the most of it, am due DC3 in 3 weeks)

My rule is that they at least try to be quiet, don't come in my room and deliberately wake me up and that they take turns in choosing what goes on the tv, also no noisy toys.

pingu2209 · 20/05/2011 08:03

No you are not unreasonable. I have the same rules. Nobody gets out of bed before 7. My dd who is 3 can't tell the time so the rules don't apply to her. But my ds(1&2) are 8 and nearly 6 so they have digital clocks in their room and know they are not allowed out till 7.

They are awake before, and they lie there really quiet, then jump up and shout the house down "it's 7 oclock!"

GooGooMuck · 20/05/2011 08:09

YANBU.

My DS is 4 (just) he has had a gro-clock since he was 2. He gets up at 7.30.

if he wakes before that he plays in his room (or talks to himself in a really cute manner )

DD is 6 months. When the time comes ,there will be no TV watching or breakfast for her either so she too will realise that there is no point in getting up before 7am.

You need to speak to your DH. he probably thinks that he is doing you a favour. IME when Dh does something like this is because he thinks he is being nice to me. Be gracious about it but just gently explain that you'd like it better if he stuck to routine.

Seona1973 · 20/05/2011 08:10

both mine have digital clocks in their room and arent supposed to come through to us until 7am unless they need the toilet. DS has had his since the age of 2 1/2 years (he knew the time has to start with a 7 before he could get up)

aldiwhore · 20/05/2011 08:21

YANBU as there's not much difference betwee 6.30am and 7am. With us, both boys are awake at 5.30am, regardless of what time they go to bed (usual bedtime is 7pm) so I WBU to expect them to play in their room until 7am/8am....

I don't LIKE the early mornings, but I wouldn't say the boys are overtired by bedtime, they're ready, so I assume their body clocks are just the way they are because its right for them.

Also my boys don't really do 'quiet play' the two words just don't go together, so if I wish them to be quiet, its reading, writing, colouring or a film, their TV time is more often spent up in the morning than at any other time. It works for us.

I did have a bunny alarm clock and the boys would get up (I'd be fast asleep) go downstairs, then return to their beds when they heard the alarm and reset it... I set mine for 5.30am now, and they're to come into our room when they wake.

YellowDinosaur · 20/05/2011 08:32

Same rule for mine too. Ds1 (5) has a clock and knows he is allowed up when the big hand is pointing up and the little hand is pointing to 7. Ds2 (3) has a kidsleep travel clock where you can sset the time that sheep wakes up - also set to 7. They can get up to go to the toilet (can both do this themselves) but otherwise stay in their rooms until 7. No problems at all.

To the poster who said YABU because its only half an hour - well then it just gets earlier and earlier because they think tv and playing is more fun than sleep. AND they are shattered and a nightmare in the evening too. Not much fun when the OP will shortly be having to deal with a new baby too!

Sort this out now OP before your new baby comes and your dd thinks that she is being pushedout by the baby. The extra half hour - an hour adds up to potentially a lot of extra sleep for you over the course of a week (assuming your new baby will be asleep then which they may or may not be) and since we used to have a 5.30 get up and its now 7 it has literally transformed our lives.

redskyatnight · 20/05/2011 09:21

YANBU - we have done this since DS could recognise a "7" on a digital display. If he wakes early (which he normally does) he is allowed to read or play quietly in bed. I

diddl · 20/05/2011 09:38

TBH, if your husband is happy to get up with them, I can´t see the problem.

sleepingsowell · 20/05/2011 09:43

if you're not sure why your DH is changing the routine, why don't you speak to him?

chelstonmum · 20/05/2011 09:51

I would speak to your DH. Perhaps he thinks with the impending new arrival he is helping you to get extra rest? I know my DH left me in bed two mornings this week (I had an infection) and got the kids out to school.

Our DS is 8 and DD is 6, they are both woken at 7am on a weekday and therefore tend to wake around the same at the weekend. If we are still asleep (our fab 8am lie in on a Saturday!) then they watch tv in bed or DS pours a bowl of cereal for each and they play marbles, top trumps or something quiet.

That said with a new DC on the way our 8am lie in is not going to last much longer!

SardineQueen · 20/05/2011 09:56

Have you asked him why he is changing things?

That would seem the obvious first step!

The next step might be to tell him how you feel.

However YANBU getting them to play quietly in their room until 7. DD1 used to do this, she had a bunny clock. Now DD2 is in with her things aren't quite so reliable though!!!

TattyDevine · 20/05/2011 10:28

My son came in at 10 to 7 this morning (0650) and I told him that it was very early, not a school day (preschool) and to go back to bed for a while, even if only to play! So he scurried off and I went back to bed and had a whole other sleep cycle including a dream therefore some lovely restful REM sleep! So well worth it!

(It was a really weird dream where my gardener was my football coach and we were practicing in a multi storey carpark!)

Anyway I digress.

I dont think there is anything wrong with the "nothing before 7am rule"

sleepingsowell · 20/05/2011 11:20

I think the 7am rule is very civilised and if they will abide by it, then great

My DS is waking at about 6.15 am at the mo and knows that 6.30 is getting up time in this house. He then proceeds to shout out every five minutes "ten minutes till getting up time! five minutes till getting up time! One minute to getting up time!"

bless him, and pass me the

cloudpuff · 20/05/2011 11:49

yanbu
my dd (6)wakes up anywhere between 5.30 and 6.30 and knows that we dont get up until the alarm goes off (7.30) she will either play in her room or curl in bed with me and watch cbeebies when it starts, if she is hungry she will go and herself some fruit from the fridge.
If her Dad were to take her downstairs to play or whatever I wouldn't be bothered, maybe your dh is trying to have a bit of one on one time with them before baby comes along.

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