to be cross about having my boobs grabbed...

[stella1w]

a friend came round and the first thing she did after saying hello was to grab my boobs and push them together and then tell me that they were so saggy and low they weren't in the right place on the top. She told me to get a new bra..

I am 35 weeks pg and was wearing a pg bra and it's true that my boobs are saggy and that they kind of don't fit behind where they are meant to on the pg top but at this stage I am not going to spend more money on maternity wear even if it's getting too small..

I was pretty shocked and said nothing thinking she would realise this was inappropriate but as she left she told me to do something about it as otherwise she would have to do another "trinny and susannah".

Oh, and btw, she is going to be at my birth so god knows what she'll say/do when I am looking even worse..

grab her by the fanny and say "gonna need to tighten up the old girl, love. you look like you've got a bollock swinging down there"

or just amuse yourself by imagining you did that, while you look at her, horrified, and say "Please do not do that again."

I would hate that too. Why does she feel she can be so rough with you?

OMG if she had done that to me she wouldn't have hands left!

Maybe a text just saying you appreciate her comments but you are actually really upset and would rather she didn't do anything like that again?

And you didn't slap her?
At 35 weeks pregnant my boons were so tender that anyoe who decided to grab them would have been risking life and limb (or at least a murderous look)

boons? boobs. time to go to bed.

Why is this woman going to be at the birth? That is horrible behaviour!

honestly... I have never seen her behave like that before.. apart from invading my personal space with the grabbing, I am at a loss to understand why she needed to start lecturing me about it.. there's not a lot I can do about it and she must surely know.. I'm so big now my maternity clothes are not fitting well..

Perhaps the power of being your birth partner has gone to her head. I personally would not want her at my most vulnerable and painful of times. Have you got a gentler friend? That was appalling and cruel behaviour...

It's like when total strangers come up and want to rub your bump -aaaarrrgh. Usually accompanied with " I love to stroke a pregnant tumm" WTH?
No wonder my two were late, probably too scared to come out!

YANBU I'd be shocked, since she is going to be your birth partner perhaps you should tell her it bothered you. Maybe you will reconsider having her there as your birth partner or maybe she will see how inappropriate she was and apologise. Good luck with the baby :)

mmmm.. she seemed like the best choice.. had to be someone local, not working fulltime, btdt, and until now, I felt very comfortable around her..

She must have a death wish to do that to pregnant women. How did you not break her wrists?

Does she have children?

Maybe you could choose someone with a little more empathy as a birth partner?

Is Peter Sutcliffe available?

well stella1w for your own sake and comfort maybe talk to her, its important you feel as relaxed as possible with ur choice of partner. That wasn't nice IMO and I don't think many people could see that as reasonable or friendly.

she has three kids, one home birth, seems very into supporting me eg. going through the relaxation bits.. really odd behaviour though.. I guess if she does it again, I will just have to be more direct (I was so shocked the other day)

Of course you were, its hard to know how to react when something like that happens. Have you got a strategy/something ready to say if she does anything like this again? If it was very out of character and she has been supportive to you during your pregnancy then maybe you can get passed it (it was very peculiar and I think, rude) I can understand why you'd post though, I'd be a bit lost too.

I had some random stranger stroke my bump when I was heavily pregnant! She said oo I couldn't resist! I told her she'd better start trying or I'd be getting the police on to her for assault.. I think it was partially the hormones talking there..