To want to be friends with OHs friends?

[yummybutterbiscuit]

I know i probably am, but its not the case of OH not wanting me to, he would be happy if we were all one group, so that we could have nights out together, and He is aware that I dont really have other friends.

I do get on well with them when they have had a few drinks, after a night out they normally come back to ours for a while, as its the nearest place to the club they normally go to, and everything is great, they seem to love me, but when they are sober, its as if they are very aware that I'm female, and get scared.

its 3 guys, and none of them are really friends with any other girls, and are all single, so it could just be that they dont know how to interact with a girl without 'trying it on'.

the thing is though, I get on really well with one of the guys, and he is the most normal with me, so we talk quite a lot on facebook and stuff. obviously theres nothing going on, we just have similar interests and get on well, but his other friends think that its weird for us to get on, so make jokes like he likes me, which just makes him awkward because its not true, but i guess he's worried that my OH will think it is true.

AIBU to wish that his friends were normal? or am IBU to expect them to be friends with me too....?

Try and make some friends of your own I am sure these lads do like you as a person but you need a circle of friends of your own as well don't be a cling-on.

They you can gradually start mixing with your OHs friends as a bigger group all having fun together. What you are suggesting can only end up being very claustrophobic and stifiling.

I have tried that, i have a few friends from school that I see occasionally, but if I try and organise a joint night out, they go all weird about it. The thing is OH would prefer if i was able to come on nights out with him, he's told me this, its just his weird friends haha.

I know i cant change them ,and if they are weird about it then fair enough, its just annoying...

I would join some clubs/ evening classes etc to meet people and gradually increase your social circle like that.

My DHs friends used to be like that with me. It was just that they were a bit shy (ok very shy) around girls.

Over the years most of DH's mates have become mine too, and vice versa.. must admit though that I do like it more now most of them are married to equally as pleasant women, I felt like I was a tag along when they were all single, though they never made me feel that way.

I do think its important to attempt to have mates outside the relationship, that are yours exclusively (at first) I never thought I'd like girl's nights in, I much prefered playing PS3 with the boys, but its 'nice' actually.

YANBU, but you need some of your own mates for balance.

How old are these guys? Because they sound about 12.

LDN they are 20, so still have a little bit of leeway in being childish, but I would hope that they would have started growing up...

I suppose they are better than they used to be, it could just be small steps...

my friends are always inclusive of my OH when we have a get together, but they are friends from school, and have scattered slightly so nights out arent as common. OH is always invited however.

I'm not sure a group of women who go out together would be keen if one of the women's husband always came along because he had no friends of his own. It does seem a bit controlling, and one of the things my husband disliked about his ex was that she would never let him go out with male friends without her and always wanted to come to everything, and often try to take over.
I think in a relationship it helps to each have your own space. It sounds as though your husband's friends are part of his space and you maybe need to accept that and find some friends and hobbies of your own.
Some of this depends on how often he sees them though. I wouldn't want a relationship with a bloke whose social life mainly involved a group of friends that didn't include me. Also if they are weird with you when sober I wouldn't want them coming back to the house as often when it suits them and would encourage them to rotate it a bit.