AIBU to think that the relationship is over

[LessonsinL]

I recently posted about my DP's sister confiding in me about certain family secrets. Since that post, DP has told me that he is unhappy in the relationship, and isn't sure that it's what he wants. He does suffer from depression but I suspected that he hadn't been happy in a while. I accepted this and made sure I cleared out all my stuff from his home before I left.

He said that he doesn't want to "break up" (hate that term) but that it's a possibility for him. He also said that he still "cared for me very much" Since then, he's called twice today (didn't pick up) and sent me a loving goodnight text message, which I also didn't respond to.

Am I being unreasonable in assuming that this relationship is over? Or have I jumped the gun slightly? Outside perspectives are welcome!

why are you letting him call all the shots?

It sounds like you've had enough of this whinyarse and I don't blame you. Point out to him that whatever he wants, you want no more of him and would like him to leave you alone. (You don't have DC with him do you?)

Post in relationships, you don't get responses that tell you to forget him, you get a more balanced view.

What SGB said. This "come here, go away" crap is not good for anyone's self-esteem. The more you push him away, the harder he'll try - and then back off again when he has you in his thrall. He needs to grow up, but not with you.

Yes but Fabby, don't you post there?

I considered posting it in Relationships, Fabby, but it was a more "am I being unreasonable" question than a relaationshippy question (IYSWIM)

He said that he doesn't want to "break up" (hate that term) but that it's a possibility for him

Oh so thats fine then...if he's said that!!

So, you gonna hang around and wait for him to sort himself out or are you just gonna get on with your own life and having some fun!! Sounds like you are best of out of it OP.

You're doing the right thing not replying to his texts and calls, and to me that is taking a bit of control.

If you've accepted it quite easily (which is how it comes across in the OP) then you can't be that bothered about him.

And why would you want to stay with someone who just cares for you? Even if it's 'very much', it's good to have someone who cares, but there should be more really.

TBH I wouldn't be at all surprised if this bloke doesn;t actually want to split up with you, but is trying to make you beg him to come back and scurry round trying to please him. Carry on ignoring, you are better off without him.

Is it over for you OP? If it is, YANBU. If you don't want it to be over, and he doesn't then maybe its not.