DD's coat and hat (not a very exciting thread title but pls do come and tell me if IABU

[deaconblue]

When I drop dd at pre-school we have to put her coat, hat etc on a peg with her name on it. I got her folder home from pre-school today and it's full of lovely photos of her having fun with her friends but in lots of the photos she's wearing hats, scarfs, coats that aren't hers.
I don't know if I'm being a bit precious about it but I particularly don't like the idea of her wearing other kids' hats in case of head lice and am a bit miffed that she seems to have spent this winter playing out in a range of coats that might not be as warm as her perfectly good coat.
All other aspects of pre-school are wonderful so I'm loathe to have a moan if it's just me being a bit precious. What do you think?

I think you are being a tiny bit precious - no harm's been done. I'm not fussed by swapping hats either, DS's nursery has a stash of hats for kids to wear if they forget theirs.

However, I'd be a bit miffed if it were me. I bought DS's coat for him to wear...not all the other kids!

I wouldn't have a moan but I'd bring it up with pre-school if it bothers you. Just say that you'd noticed that she wasn't wearing her hat etc and wondered why? It could be that all the kids decided to swap clothes that day, or something.

I would be livid about this I used to take great pains when they were little to get them the warmest most practical coats I could get. I always trained them up to be able to fasten and unfasten the particular coat themselves how to but gloves, hats, scarfs ect on with it. Every night I would check the coat was dried off properly and they were always had a dry coat ready for the next morning.

The thought they might be in damp poor quality coats when they had their own warm dry good coats would of got my jaws going tight and someone somewhere would of got a right rollocking.

YANBU. Depending on how old she is, can she recognise her name? Alternatively she may prefer someone elses garments to her own.
When DD was 3ish, she went to a school with a uniform. To play outside they had to wear hats (Thailand). All the hats were the same so I sewed a red button inside hers so she could recognise it.

completely precious

It's a bit weird that they're putting other ones on her when she's got hers already there. At my DD's nursery they have spares of everything like that but it's only for when a child doesn't have the necessary stuff of their own. And the point of them having pegs is partly to encourage recognition of name/photo, so it's weird IMO to then not follow that.

But it won't do her any harm. If you're worried about lice, just remember that if she does get them it is more likely to be because of actually playing with the other DCs than from the hats. I recommend a range of hair products called 'vosene' which seems to repel lice a bit.

You're not being unreasonable. Have a word with the nursery teacher. Pegs used to have different pictures on them when I was a child and you'd only ever go to your peg.

I wouldn't want my kids sharing clothes with other children and I expect their parents would feel the same. It's only the kids who don't seem to mind. I've lent DD's friend one of her jumpers before when she was cold... the child has chronic dandruff. I'd just rather my kids wear their own stuff.

I was also wondering if she just prefers other's clothes, maybe she's refusing to wear her own stuff?

It's definitely not jsut one day as it's lots of different coats and some of the photos are dated with different dates. I've just asked her (she's only just 3) and she says she was wearing a pre-school coat in a photo. I'm wondering if they have a box of coats by the door and children just put on the first one they find? But if so why have name pegs? And yes, her coat this winter was an expensive very warm waterproof one that I'd spent ages choosing to do the best job so I'm a bit naffed off she didn't wear it every day.

What about any damage caused to another child's clothing though... would you have to repair/replace it? Minefield..

I bet the children fight over wearing each other's coats - why wear your own boring coat when you can dress-up in your mate's. It's the same rule as the one where the most desirable toy is the one that someone else is playing with.

OP

Don't let anyone tell you that your a fusspot you are a good caring Mam who is trying to do her best for her bairn, you will find the Mams calling you are probably somewhat lax and slapdash.

OP mentions the photos are of this winter. It is now May. The first OP knew about it was when she saw the photos. Her DD didn't contract lice, dandruff, pneumonia or have her own clothes destroyed.
It is all in the past.

I am neither lax nor slapdash. I just can't get over-excited about something which happened without my noticing and which had no detrimental outcomes.

I think if it were this issue would fall into the 'slightly miffed' category, but I wouldn't have sleepless nights over it.... I'd speak to the pre-school, its actually quite odd for them to chuck any old coat on a child, especially if there are name pegs and the coats are clearly labelled.

As for the nit issue, my youngest would never ever wear a hat, and still got them ocassionally, but with conditioner and the nitty gritty comb used 2-3 times a week, they've always been dealt with before they're an issue.

YANBU, I would certainly, in a polite way, mention this to the nursery and request that your DD wear her own coat/hat etc at all times. I don't like wearing other peoples clothes and certainly wouldn't want my children too either. And I certainly would not want other children wearing my childrens clothes, be it coats, wellies, hats or otherwise. In my mind it would be the equivalent of buying second hand clothing and not washing it before wearing it - eeeewwww!

YANBU and neither are you completely precious. I think it's a bit odd myself and maybe you could bring it up with the staff in a puzzled why did that happen sort of way. I know it's in the past but apart from anything else, I would really want to satisfy my curiosity as to why your dd wears another coat when she has a perfectly good one......very strange.

My DD's preschool has a box of coats, hats, waterproofs etc they keep by the door for the kids to put on when they go out to play. It means hers stays on her peg and she just wears it to walk there and back. This is fine by me as it means her own coat is always clean and dry to come home in.

not precious but dont let it bother you. I always sent dd to nursery with practical clothes that she owned and I had bought with great love and care.

at nursery however she would delve into the spares box at the door because she couldnt be arsed to go get her own hat coat etc and ment she could get outto play far quicker. .

Exactly MrsLevinson :) Maybe the nursery thought it was better not too dirty her own expensive/nice looking coat?

Just ask the nursery.

In that case then maybe OP should buy a really cheap flimsy coat for dd to wear to nursery, donate her decent warm one to nursery to put in the box and then tell dd to pick out her one from the box whenever she goes outside :)