to be annoyed that so many people think RSVPing is optional!

[QuackQuackSqueak]

Surely it's just polite! Fucking hell! How can you plan when you have no idea how many are coming!

TBH, I don't take much notice of the RSVPs for DDs birthday party. She had one on Sunday. I sent the invites out by evite and got 11 responses from 29 invites. On the actual day, she had 22 people.
It is piss poor manners and I always respond.
YANBU

Definitely NBU! One of my bugbears, I respond straight away, it's the height of bad manners and chez 'bears it'll guarantee you no further invites EVER.

YANBU!

I had this with DS1 birthday, which I was really miffed at because it was at a play centre where you pay per head (numbers in advance).

In the future I am not going to tell them where the venue is until they reply!

But don't you just have simply masses of space and masses of food and so the more the merrier?

Bum you've just reminded me that DH hasn't RSVP'd to a wedding invite (evening reception)

Try RSPV Regrets Only -- you get much better response rate. For kids parties, anyway.

Like your thinking, BlueCat & MCos!

DD had a party a couple of weeks ago. Really pisses me off too when you've paid per head in advance, then they don't bother to RSVP or even to turn up - so you could have invited other kids instead. One mum texted me 5 mins before the party started to say her son couldn't make it, I assumed he must be ill. Nope, they were at a friend's house and couldn't get to the party on time. FFS.

I have seven non replies for dd's party on Sat. Yes very annoying but also expected which is why I refused to do the pay per head thing and am doing my own food.

Oh you are so NBU! drives me bonkers!

Definitely not bu. I have had to chase up loads of invites for dd's party. Luckily it is in a hall and I am organising games etc, but put a limit on numbers and would have had time to slip in a few more, if I had known who wasn't coming. In fact it is the ones who can't come who mostly haven't bothered to reply, which pisses me off more. It's just so rude!
I really want to tell some of the mums how rude they are, but I probably won't!

Have just RSVP'd to my friend about her DD's christening. Thanks for the reminder!
I'm usually very good at RSVPing...

YANBU this used to really annoy me too when DD was younger. It always seemed to be the same people who couldn't be a**d to let you know. But I remember when one of the serial offenders finally had a party for their DD they not only put RSVP on the invite but "RSVP by DD/MM/YY" so they clearly knew what it meant!

yes it is but got to admit that I hate sending crap thank you letters out. My children always thank people when they get the present or even on the phone, I find the requirement to send thank you letters out to relations who have already received a very thank you a pointless exercise that causes no end of hassle. I dont give gifts so I can get thanks or recognition, I give them in recognition of a person or an event.

should have been 'verbal' thank you

yawn

YAsoNBU. Some invitees to my wedding are deciding on the day. I mean if they don't want to come fair enough but they could at least tell me they are not coming. Doesn't take much these days quick e-mail or text.

The worst thing is if people can't make it I can't invite anyone else in their place.

No actually the worst thing is not knowing how much food to make and not being able to plan and buy for the creative things which we are going to be doing! So I have had to buy loads just in case!

I put my no. on the invite so it's only a text isn't it, thats hardly a lot of trouble.

I am hoping as someone else said that the one's who haven't replied are mostly not able to make it, otherwise I have invited too many . . . shit!

Pissing me off.

Can't believe people aren't telling you if they can come to your wedding xstitch! That is beyond rude.

I did that too quack my address, number and they are on my FB so could PM if desired. 8 people not replied, since only 20 are invited it is a big proportion of the food. I do not intend to spend the morning of my wedding at the supermarket hence the desire to know now.

xstitch I think If I were you (and I was feeling arsey!) I would tell those who are deciding on the day that you need to know now so you can invite others in their place. Very, very rude when it's someone's wedding! Thought it was bad enough for a childrens party!

I am considering refusing to feed them and they can watch those who RSVPed eat

it is just rude not to RSVP, some people have no manners

I think it's very bad manners...but even worse manners when the people sending the invites start to chase responses several weeks before the deadline (something I encountered recently).

YANBU. Hate bad manners. When it was DS's birthday, everyone RSVPd except one. Mother rang about 2 hours before party and said that xxxx wanted to stay at home and watch the man who was fixing the computer I just said, oh don't worry xxxx already told ds in the playground that he didn't want to come to the party!!!!

It's the height of bad manners IMO, especially if you have to budget per head etc. I always RSVP as soon as I get an invite, then note it on the family calender.
I am on the receiving end of this at the moment, especially as there are other people I would rather invite to my party than sodding inlaw family who can't be arsed to reply (and probably won't come) when i've coughed up for nice invitations!
If anyone turns up now unannounced, they'll get met with a barbed comment, which will be easy after a couple of glasses of fizz!