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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to feel sorry for the travellers near us

90 replies

dorsetdumpling · 18/05/2011 18:42

We had some travellers arrive near us on Monday. They have been no problems and have told the council they will leave on Sunday as there is an event on the field where they are.

I'm a bit annoyed that a couple of snobby residents have been interviewed in the local rag saying its a disgrace.

I would love to tell the travellers that we don't all hold that opinion.

OP posts:
CurrySpice · 18/05/2011 22:34

I will say again maristella that I understand why some traveller children may need some extra support at school. And I have absolutely no problem with them getting it. None at all. I am 100% committed to every child being given access to a good education.

What I am saying is that a sudden, large influx of children needing this help, on a VERY SMALL village school, can cause problems of resources etc which can cause conflict locally

frgaaah · 18/05/2011 22:34

"legitimate complaints about africans, chinese, jamaicans or portugese in the way we sadly do about roma and travellers."

I get what you're saying, but I don't agree that's a fair comparison.

africans, chinese, jamaicans or portugese do not share a common ethos or set of beliefs amongst themselves. Of course all travellers don't agree 100% on all topics, but there is a clearly identifiable "thread" between their group stance on e.g. underage sex, the role of women, adherence to planning laws, whatever - the same cannot be said for the population of countries in general.

That's why I relate my own comparisons to religious groups. That's a much fairer comparison.

I have thought of 1 national group which I may feel appropriate to compare against and make similar comments about: the Saudis. Women are treated as 2nd class citizens there* and it's a general attitude across the population, from what I can tell. With exceptions, of course, individuals are individuals and the usual comments about it not being a mindless group all thinking the same things applies. Can you imagine if, say, people of african origine were treated the way women are treated in Saudi Arabia? No driving, permission from male relatives to travel, whatever. There would be an international outcry. Modern day slavery.

Interesting anecdote from my boss that I heard last month: he's sort of on the PR / face front of the organisation I currently work for, and used to work in another company which had a lot of middle eastern ties. His partner (business partner) at the time was the woman who co-founded the company with him. In 99% of the middle eastern (ok, it was pretty much Saudi Arabian) meetings they held, they assumed she was his secretary/PA and kept her out of the meetings. Cruellest of all, the first few times he pointed out that she was co-owner, she was still kept out of the meetings, and spent most of them on a laptop in hotel lobbies. Can you imagine if this was done to a male co-owner simply because he was black, chinese, welsh, whatever?

frgaaah · 18/05/2011 22:36

p.s. things may have changed in Saudi Arabia since my boss' little tale; I wouldn't know, I've never been, and he's been with this organisation just over 7 years now, so I'm assuming a fair few years ago that happened. But I think the point is still valid.

CurrySpice · 18/05/2011 22:41

Sadly frgaaah many national groups are treated like that in Saudi. They have their passports taken away and work for very very small wages :(

And I think your last para is unlikely if only because it is unlikely she would have been allowed in the country at all

Kallista · 19/05/2011 00:55

Ok, i've got english romanies in my family; they are either settled in houses or in ordinary mobile home sites. They are original Roma people. A lot of english romanies live on the estates round here. There are also a few irish traveller families settled locally. Out of both groups some are criminals, but most work hard like all locals.
But every summer here down south different irish travellers turn up. They have very expensive trailer homes and SUVs yet they can't seem to afford a skip for their rubbish + human waste - everyone gets fed up when the same places get trashed + become no-go areas each summer.
Is it true that irish travellers aren't actually descended from Roma people anyway (unlike english romanies)? Also where do they go in the winter?

FurKnickersAndNoCoat · 19/05/2011 00:58

In my own experience the travellers in this area are always really nice people. They are clean respectful and very friendly. They get a really bad "rap" I think because certain groups who use the term "traveller" (sp?) are a different type of community. If you have a bad experience of what people class as gypsys or travellers then it can cloud the judgement of genuine travellers.

Shit could I have said travellers anymore times in that paragraph.

TheFrogs · 19/05/2011 01:47

I can only speak from experience too because I really know nothing about travellers, gypsies, roma..what the difference is or the pc term for them!

But, out of all the kids i've had around here over the years these two little girls who were always immaculately dressed and clean really stuck in my mind. My dd asked them in, they took their shoes off at the door (no need in our house, not at all!). They hovered until I realised that they thought they needed permission to sit down. They sat with my dd and played nicely for hours despite the fact she was much younger than them, they were well spoken and extremely polite. They didn't come around often as I dont think their parents were too keen but it was so bloody refreshing to actually have well behaved kids in my house...i've had no end of problems with neighbours' cheeky, ill mannered brats over the years...none of them travellers. There's good and bad everywhere imo.

MollyMurphy · 19/05/2011 02:06

At the risk of being un-PC - a "traveller" to some is a "squatter" to another. They may be lovely, friendly and upstanding....or they may not be. Regardless, I'm sure the neighbours around the field hope they don't stay too long nor leave a mess.....no bathrooms or running water in the field I would imagine and they are not contributing to the taxes to upkeep such an area. I think it would be naive to suggest that crime is not an issue amongst may roma, traveller, gypsy groups - as with any congregation of individuals of lower socioeconomic status. That may not be a bleeding heart opinion but it is grounded in fact.

dizzyblonde · 19/05/2011 09:13

I went to school for a while with a gipsy family and they were furious if they were called travellers. To them travellers were not gipsies but were the lowest of the low. In their words they gave gipsies a bad name and were considered dirty thieves. The girls I was at school with were fiercely proud of their heritage and were spotlessly clean but if you called them travellers then words would be had!

ccpccp · 19/05/2011 09:15

YABU OP. Dont waste your sympathy on such an undeserving group.

However, I am shocked and saddened at posters implying that a disproportionate number of travellers are violent thieving bastards. There is no call for it and its totally racist or something.

Lets keep this all nice and PC please.

Mumofaflump · 19/05/2011 09:56

I'm in Dorset too, North Dorset, and we currently have around 6 "traveller" sites round my way.

Half of them are nice, friendly people. Half are not. The ones living right behind my house were nice, then a new lot with vicious dogs moved in.

The way I see it is that being nasty to travellers is "acceptable" racism.

No person deserves to have hate directed towards them until they have done something to deserve that hatred.

Yes, I'm horribly sheltered and naieve (sp?). I like it.

Kallista · 19/05/2011 10:22

Dizzyblonde - yes i agree romany gypsies and 'travellers' aren't the same thing.
And yes in the large romany families here there is a lot of crime - robbery, theft, a kneecapping or two...but there are also many respectable gypsy people round here who have normal jobs, or who are tradesmen, businessmen or professionals.
So I get very annoyed to hear abuse against them - just because they are romany.
But it's when outside groups of 'travellers' ruin local beauty spots that pisses everyone off.

MooMooFarm · 19/05/2011 10:28

The article made me Grin where the woman was complaining that "I can see the field from my house". Is she worried the view will damage her eyes?

I have had no experience with travellers personally so hope I would open minded if they set up near to me. However I would say that 'My Big Fat Gypsy Wedding' has probably made people more discriminatory than they would have been before.

Selks · 19/05/2011 10:31

OP, YANBU and it's refreshing to hear someone feel the way you do.

stickytoffeepud · 19/05/2011 10:33

posters implying that a disproportionate number of travellers are violent thieving bastards

perish the thought

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