Not arrange a first birthday party

[Madamolive]

My childs 1st birthday is fast approaching and me and my DH have decided against having a birthday party and are going out for the whole day (just the three of us) (travelling a couple of hours to this lovely wildlife park).
AIBU to not understand why the IL's are upset about not seeing their grandchild on their birthday? My family are not the slightest bit fazed. They can see him another day and his birthday does fall on a weekday so majority of everyone is working.

We really wouldn't have enough time in the morning or when we get back for visitors to pop over- it would have been a long day with a very early start so all of us will undoubtly be exhausted.

Sounds really sensible-have a nice day. You also don't want to get tied into doing birthdays in a particular way so don't give in to emotional blackmail.

YABU if you don't understand why the ILs want to see their Grandchild on such an important day.

Can you arrange a birthday party at another time, maybe at the weekend, so that they can feel involved too.

Invite the ILs on the outing

YANBU. DP, DS and I are going away for the whole week of DS' 1st birthday. DP and I don't think a 1 year old needs a birthday party! We don't have any friends with babies the same age, so it's not as though we would have a party with other children, or are going to any other 1st birthday parties. There will be a BBQ at PIL's when we get back to appease them for that side of the family. My family are of the same opinion as DP and me - they will give DS his presents when they see him, it really doesn't have to be on the day itself.

Of course you have to think of the extended family and what has meaning for them, even if it doesn't for you. I think we're getting a nice compromise as we have made it clear that we don't see a party as necessary, but if others do, then they are welcome to organise one so there will be photographic evidence if anyone needs reassuring they were loved as a baby.