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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

getting a dog

55 replies

wantadog · 18/05/2011 00:33

Hi, my partner and i have a tenancy agreement which runs out in 5 weeks, at which time we will be moving to a "pets allowed" property, our current tenancy agreement is a no pets one, as is the next door neighbours' who are with the same landlord. they have a dogHmm. We asked the landlord, who we can only contact in writing and were told "please see tenancy agreement."
I understand a landlord's concerns as to the potential damage caused by a dog, but i also ask you to consider the fact that 1.)when we moved in the property was filthy, i had to spend a day scrubbing and cleaning before we could stay here. 2.) the carpet is very very old, worn, dark coloured and even thinning in places. 3.) apart from carpet and old curtains (which i have replaced) all the furniture in here is our own.

My partner grew up with a vary rare breed of dog, and has always wanted another one, we have been looking for one for several years. We found one for sale yesterday (many miles away) and would desperately love to go and get it. I know we absolutely shouldn't and i know even if we do that a dog is not something you can hide as you would a goldfish :) But i'm wondering if,considering the circumstances, i'm being unreasonable?

Thankyou in advance for any opinions

OP posts:
WhereYouLeftIt · 18/05/2011 00:35

Can you arrange to buy the dog but not 'take delivery' of it for a few weeks?

Rhinestone · 18/05/2011 00:37

If you're sure that your new property is 'signed and sealed' then personally I would do it. I'm a bit naughty though!

What breed of dog out of interest?

A1980 · 18/05/2011 00:38

If you're many miles away can't you pay for him/her and agree to collect in 5 weeks time?

squeakytoy · 18/05/2011 00:40

given the short timescale, I am fairly sure the current owners would be more than happy to hang on to him until you move. It is much better to move a dog into the surrounding that he will be living in permanently than shunt him around, so contact the people, see the dog, pay for him if you like him, and arrange to pick him up in 5 weeks! :)

wantadog · 18/05/2011 00:49

they want him gone a.s.a.p as he's the last of the litter and is apparently harassing their cat :) lol
He is a pedigree tibetan mastiff.

Would it really be so bad?

i'm working from home at the moment too, so he'd have constant company, which i would have thought would make the move less distressing, would you agree?

OP posts:
nijinsky · 18/05/2011 01:06

New puppy in rental house is going to be messy. You risk losing your deposit unless it was detailed either in the lease or inventory the faults you list in your current property. Why not just wait until you move to your new property? It will be really confusing too for a puppy to be taken away from its mother and litter to firstly one home and then another too. Housing issues are more important than pets you don't yet have.

Sqee · 18/05/2011 01:06

My tenancy agreement said no pet's but I grew up with dogs my whole life! So I er.. got one Blush(The house has a front and back garden but he sleeps in our bed ((which we bought not our landlord))). I have taken extra care (He is a parson russell terrier) To make sure he didn't chew, pee on, rip up anything and just put him out the back when my landlord comes up! I say get your puppy! (awaits the MN landlady attacks! Eek!)

DooinMeCleanin · 18/05/2011 01:08

I'd do it, but I'm eejit. It's really not a good idea. What would happen if your LL found out and insisted you get rid or move out that day?

Vallhala · 18/05/2011 01:14

WRT getting a dog there's no reason why you couldn't agree to do so and delay taking him until you move - taking him from where he is now and then moving again could be very distressing and disrupting for him and cause you both problems which may not be easy to resolve in the chaos and hard work of moving. You'll have enough on your plate without trying to settle a nre dog and ensure the removals men don't let him escape.

BUT more importantly, I'm worried. You say you've seen the dog advertised t buy... from where? If it's a breeder and they are responsible and reputable they won't LET you have him until you are settled, for good reason. I'd strongly recommend that you avoid at all costs one who would. Also, you must be sure that they will take the dog back if it doesn't work out... or then where will he go?

Worse still, if it's a Free Ads/Gumtree advert from a private home, please, DON'T. For YOUR sake as well as the dogs. What if it doesn't work and you have nowhere for him to go? What if the owner tells you that the dog is perfect but in reality he howls when you leave the house and pisses off your new neighbours, who complain to your new landlord? What if he bites you or any DC you have?

I'm a rescuer and I frequently see coming into rescue or worse, the pound or vet to be put to sleep, such dogs. A reputable rescue or breeder will offer lifetime's support and take the dog back at any time in his life if necessary. (Not that as a rescuer I advocate going to a breeder but if you must choose WISELY!).

And people LIE! They lie to us, experienced rescuers and they sure as hell lie to Joe Public when they want to get rid of a dog. A decent rescue or breeder will not rehome lightly, a reputable rescue will match the right dog to you and your family and steer you away from the unsuitable ones. All too often the private advertiser won't. He only has one or two dogs, he wants rid so instead of advising you on the right dog to have or saying sorry, that he has no suitable dog for you, he will tell you what you want to hear and once he has your money won't be there for you or the dog.

Another thing to consider... which would you prefer? A dog of DPs favourite breed which is unsuited to you and makes you and him unhappy or a different breed or cross which is perfect? Are you prepared to wait, on a rescue's or breeder's list for the RIGHT dog or are you so excited about having this particular breed that you will take a chance on the first one to become available?

I may be wrong and the dog may be from a perfectly responsible source and ideal for you... but please, please beware and think on what I've said. When I lost my Collie X girl I went to rescue seeking a similar bitch of about 4-6 years old... and ended up adopting a huge 9 year old long haired German Shepherd... the best dog in the world and perfect for us yet SO not what I'd been looking for!

If you can identify that my fears for you might be with good reason and you'd care to mention the breed I'll do my best to suggest or find a reputable breed club or rescue which might have a dog which WOULD be assessed and come wiith secure back-up and lifetime support. Lastly, never ever take on a dog without a homecheck... it's for YOUR benefit as well as his. It will identify and iron out problems before you start (maybe a simple thing like a fence with a hole or maybe to ensure that he is good with your cat) and cannot be underestimated.

wantadog · 18/05/2011 01:14

Our landlord doesn't visit but i must admit i am a little concerned about the neighbours, they'd obviously see him every time we leave to 'go walkies' lol, and we don't have a garden :(, but then it is only for five weeks. I still don't know what to think, although the fact that you are getting away with it sqee, has made me a little more optimistic.
as for the deposit, i am fairly certain we will lose it anyway as i replaced the old electric shower when the landlord wouldn't. So far, with all due respect to landlords in general, ours seems to have been a bit of an arse.

I think I may do it, after all it is only 5 weeks and it is a rare opportunity Hmm

OP posts:
Vallhala · 18/05/2011 01:23

X posted... in that case, don't confuse and distress a pup by moving him from house to house but take him after you've settled. A GOOD breeder will be happy with that and will wait for a decent home. Ensure that the breeder will offer lifetime support and take him back at any time. Call the breed club and check out the breeder, ensure that you see in advance and have possession of any paperwork regarding genetic disease and health checks on pup and parents. Insist on seeing both in the home, check out whether the breeder has any other pups and if so what breeds (ref puppy farming), what the conditions are like and call your council to see if the breeder is registered. They may not HAVE to be if they breed infrequently and if they have one or few breeding bitches but still check and research notjust genetic conditions but what constitutes a need for licensing (all online, specifics hazy tonight as am tired and don't want to misinform you).

Call local independent rescues (they tend to be more honest than the big ones) and ask if they know good or bad about the breeder.

Midori1999 is a MNer and decent breeder - pm her for advice, you won't go wrong.

Sqee · 18/05/2011 01:27

Vallhala Your post should be attached to every pet sale on gum tree ect! You are a saint! The rule I was brought up with was always see the pup with his or her mother. I would love to be a rescuer but am currently unable too but wish to For all animals one day!

nijinsky · 18/05/2011 01:36

Valhalla so much common sense. OP please consider the dog (and it will be a puppy) more than your own desire to have your wants met instantly.

wantadog · 18/05/2011 01:46

I appreciate what you're all saying. I am thinking of the dog, he will have constant company for five weeks, then an easy move two streets away, followed by a lifetime of being considered and treated as a member of the family. it's not a case of instantly getting what we want, this is something that has taken years, it's just our circumstances that are not instantly ideal. Hmm
I can't help thinking it is worth it, for the dog as much as for us.
the owners have mentioned taking him into the rspca centre, wouldn't that be even more confusing/distressing for him?

OP posts:
Vallhala · 18/05/2011 01:52

If the owners have mentioned that they are NOT responsible breeders and as much as I feel for the dog (and hate and distrust the RSPCA with a passion) I wouldn't advise you touch them with a bargepole. IMHO they shouldn't be breeding anyway and certainly not if they not only don't have a list of approved homes and "subs" in case of drop-outs BEFORE putting their bitch to breed but also if they are willing to dump the pup into the RSPCA (or guilt trip you by saying that this is what they will do).

PLEASE... contact the breed club and find a reputable breeder or breed rescue. This one isn't.

Morloth · 18/05/2011 01:53

Why bother asking when clearly you are going to do whatever you want regardless of what anyone says?

Listen to Valhalla she knows her stuff, YABU.

ChocolateTeacup · 18/05/2011 08:15

Listen to Valhalla the dog is probably not even a proper pedigree, a decent breeder would never dump, or threaten to, a puppy. how much is the dog anyway?

Be cautious please ensure you see the hip scoring of the parents and ensure the puppy is at least 7 weeks old

Threaders · 18/05/2011 08:40

Tibetan Mastiffs are pretty tough dogs to own, do either of you have experience with the breed? They are not particularly domesticated, are absolutely huge, and not the easiest of dogs to train. I'd be particularly concerned about this entire situation.

SpotsMumSally · 18/05/2011 09:00

My sister is a very devoted breeder/shower of a certain type of dog. She has had two litters in the past and would never have said she'd take a dog to a pound if it wasn't found a home.

She also is very strict when re-homing the pups and wouldn't send one to a house without a garden. She maintains contact with the new owners and has a contract which states that the dogs can't be re-homed by the new owners, they must come back to her. She even takes them in if the owners go on holiday.

The breeder of the puppy in this case doesn't sound as conscientious and therefore dubious.

SpotsMumSally · 18/05/2011 09:01

Oh and she would have no problems holding onto a puppy for five weeks if she had found it a good home.

wantadog · 18/05/2011 09:51

Can we all please get off the subject of the breeders?!

The whole point of this was to get an opinion with regards to my tenancy agreement :)

Anyone like to say something relevant?

OP posts:
DooinMeCleanin · 18/05/2011 10:00

I did say something relevent. I wouldn't do it. It's too risky. Are you actually reading the posts about breeders? People are giving you this advise for a very good reason.

Have you seen this dog? It could be coming from a puppy farm for all you know. Please don't support these people and encourage yet more irressponsible breeding.

After Googling I have found Tibetan Mastiffs can suffer from hereditary conditions such as Hip Displasia and Canine Inherited Demyelinative Neuropathy. Puppies from breeders like this will not have health tested parents. Could you afford the financial and emotional implications of looking after a sick puppy? Could you happily buy from this breeder knowing you are supporting the breeding of more unhealthy puppies?

Mrsfluff · 18/05/2011 10:06

I think people mention the breeders out of genuine concern for you and the dog. Do you know if the parents were health tested?

I don't think you should get it, how do you plan to toilet train it with no garden, what about the disruption to the pup when you move? I think you need to put the pups needs before your own desire to own one. Tbh though, I think your mind is made up already.

wantadog · 18/05/2011 10:07

Is there any particular reason why people are making all these grand assumptions from very little information?

I appreciate the advice, to a point, let's assume (for the sake of getting a relevant answer) that this is the perfect dog from the perfect breeder etc etc, but circumstances happen to dictate that we either get it now or not at all, with 5 weeks left on my tenancy agreement, how bad would it be?

OP posts:
Morloth · 18/05/2011 10:10

You want relevant?

Don't be so bloody stupid and selfish.

Just wait until you are in an appropriate place to own a dog. You are not at the moment.

A Tibetan Mastiff in an apartment? Dumb.

A dog in an apartment with a tenancy agreement which specifies no pets? Dumb.

Are you getting the message? This is DUMB.

They are big and have some inherited conditions, if you are buying from a shit breeder (and it sounds like you are) you are going to need plenty of money to pay the vet bills, so you might want to think about holding onto that deposit.

Grow up and learn that instant gratification isn't always the way forward especially when the dog will almost certainly end up paying the price for your stupidity.