AIBU re neighbours.

[SaggyHairyArse]

Backstory: I have lived here since April, my neighbours moved in shortly after. I have 3 kids and a dog, they had a baby in the New Year. I had a difficult last quarter of last year (separated from husband, breast cancer scare, everything that could go wrong did (re house/car etc) blah blah blah (that bits sort of irrelevant).

So last summer my daughter had an ear infection and woke up howling one night. I repeat one night. My dog barked. Not for hours, like 3-4 woofs. I obviously sorted the dog and my daughter. The next day they were round about it. I apologised and agreed to move the dogs bed into the furthest point away from their house meaning I cannot have a bin in my kitchen...

In the February school holidays they complained as they could hear my son in his bedroom and the children going up and down the stairs. I agreed to move my sons bedroom furniture around so his computer is not on the adjoining wall and to talk to the kids about their stairs walking (3 year old does the one step at a time stair stomp walk at the mo).

At Easter I got a trampoline for the kids. They go on it for ten minutes (literally ten minutes) of a weekday morning as I won't let them out before 8.30 and we have to leave at 8.40 for school and they go on it for 30 mins to 40mins of an afternoon (no later than 7.30pm).

This morning I had a text from the neighbours saying it was not on and that they have no peace or privacy in their house because of the trampoline and the kids etc.

On previous occasions I have tried to find solutions but this morning I replied that they will unfortunately make noise during waking hours and for them not to contact me about it again.

I feel like a complete bitch but we are walking on eggshells. The older kids are at school in the day and have activities a couple of times a week. They aren't here on a Sunday or a Wednesday as they are at their Dads. I am being made to feel like I can't live in my own home.

Honestly, my kids are just normal kids, they are just playing but of course we do have spats and tears at times. I have their friend sback for tea every few weeks or so but it is not as if we are having wild parties. Come 8.30pm they are in bed and it's just me pottering about - quietly.

Any advice on how I should handle this?

TIA

Much sympathy. Had the same from the woman over the back from me, around in her car to scream my childern were keeping here child awake (last day of summer hols, they were on the trampoline at 7.30pm). Revenge is a dish best served cold. Her baby grew up, she had another and now they are the horrors of the estate. What a racket they make and they are completely out of control. I smile each time I hear them roaring and my smile is a smug smile.

Do nothing more. You sound terribly reasonable, it is for them to soundproof their house or move. Wait until their baby is bigger and then do the smug smile thing I do!

I will do that MUS!!!

One of the reasons I don't go round tit for tat is because they have got it coming, mwahahahahaha!

Don't tell your kids to be quiet. They're making a normal and acceptable noise level and at a reasonable time. What sad neighbours that they have nothing better to do with their time than moan.

YANBU - don't pander to them, it makes them worse ime. Be firm.

I so sympathise with you. We had a total cunt living upstairs to us (Kreecher). She made my life a living hell for three years. I am a firm believer now in being less accommodating. My DD was unable to have fun for three years. The more you bend over backwards, the more they'll shaft you up the arse.
Just anticipate their DC growing a bit.................

The next time they say anything you answer should be:

We have moved furniture for you, I have to live without a bin in my own kitchen for you, and am constantly on edge about the merest hint of noise disturbing your tranquillity.

I was here first, we are a normal family, doing normal things. Seriously, what DO you want me to do? If you are bothered by normal neighbour noise then by all means get your house sound proofed or indeed look for a detached home, there is nothing more I can do to make YOUR life better.

Sounds like you have been too reasonable with them already.
As you said in your post, there will be noise during waking hours and they will just have to accept that.

I called the Council and told them and they said that we were making normal family noise and if they do complain then it will not be taken very seriously. They said the best thing to do was to give them the Councils number and tell them to report it if it is such a problem and that way I am not entering into an argument with them.

They said even my dog barking occasionally is not a problem as dogs do bark. The Council person was really nice and did say that they wouldn't want to live nextdoor to some of the people he has to investigate, LOL!

Thanks everyone, it is reassurring to know I am not being difficult.

If anyone is following this I have had the most incredulous conversation today. The husband came round and I do actually think he was trying to be genuinely nice but he suggested that I swap the position of my summerhouse with my trampoline so it is further from his house, he would do it for me too

Whilst I think he is trying to keep his wife happy, I can't actually believe they are discussing the arrangements in my garden and what they could do to make it suit them.

The world has gone mad I tell you

If this is what they're like now can you imagine how bloody grumpy they will be when they're old fogies?

Don't move a thing and make sure your kids spend as much time outside making noise in the holidays.

He did what??!! That's completely outrageous. I really hope you [politely] told him to feck off! You are just living a normal family life. They can't dictate what you do in your own garden.

I did say no, I wasn't going to do that, the summerhouse is where it is because of the sun and the trampoline is next to a tree for the shade. How I didn't tell him to eff off I don't know, I am trying to kill them with kindness and am biding my time for when their kids are older. The are utter loons!

It is BECAUSE you have been too nice and accommodating to them that they now think they can have you rearrange your life to suit any minor problems they might have. Hopefully now you have basically told them they are taking the pee they will stop. If they do continue moaning, though, do remind them of the noise that you have to put up with - I'm sure their baby isn't silent.

Hold the line, SHA! You've said no once now so it should get easier each time you have to say no. Good for you.

Oooh moany neighbours - bad luck.

We had one once...was never away from my door complaining about this, that, and the next thing. All just trivial bollocks that was the normal day to day family stuff - like you describe.

I ended up telling him to call the police next time, and waste their time instead of wasting mine.

He never came back.

Try that?

By the way - complaining about your kids using the trampoline in their own garden is preposterous! Don't you dare stop them from having fun out there, to appease them. They are selfish, self important idiots, and should not be entertained.