I probably am so talk me round, GCSE's

[prettypurpledaisy]

ExH and I separated nearly two years ago. Have 2 dcs dd year 11 sitting her GCSEs at the moment. Ds year 9 but sitting three GCSEs this year.
Both went for weekend with their dad, dd came back with two cards one from exh and mil (one containing £20) ds got nothing.
I appreciate that she is sitting 13 and the eldest but AIBU to expect them both to be treated the same?
I am cross but DD says I am over reacting.
Puts on hard hat.

Yes, you are overreacting. Many adults don't understand how much exams are staggered these days across the age groups.

Why money though? I thought that was only common after results?

Yes YABU. Lots of schools now do GCSEs earlier, or half-GCSEs, or parts of GCSEs, or modules, or whatever. They also do modules throughout the couple of years. But it would be impractical to "mark" all of these events.

I think concentrating on the final round of exams in yr11 is totally appropriate. There is a big difference between what your dd is doing and what your ds is doing.

What subjects is he doing btw?

YABU - taking your exams in year 11 is a milestone while taken a few early is not. But surely your DD should be getting cash when the results are out?!

Yeah, YABU from me too. I'm guessing the cards are 'Good Luck' cards? Most people think the GCSE's taken in year 11 are the 'real' ones (even the kids think this sometimes!) and it is much more pressure taking them all together in year 11, and higher stakes, too - college places riding on it etc.

And if you had a problem with their little gesture of support and luck it might have been nicer to raise it directly with them rather than taking the gloss off it for DD?

I'm sorry but YABU here too. The older child is the one under pressure at the moment and I know when I'm under pressure the odd little treat, new lippie, really nice coffee, bath bomb, gets me through. The younger child's time will come and if she's sitting 3 in y9 I assume she's spectacularly bright anyway and ds might need a bit more support not just because of the GCSEs but because because he might need to work that bit harder and might be feeling it emotionally as well as academically. Is this about your relationship with ex dh or about your children?

FWIW my DS is doing 9 O'Levels this year and did 3 last year and was told it was a good taste of what was to come. This year I have booked annual leave for bank holiday week, he is having all his favourite dinners in June and I have arranged to be home by 4.45 every day to support him. DD (y8) has been told no friends at weekends and to be mindful that she's behind him in the queue for attention until July!

Thanks for the comments, put it into perspective a little and DD very happy as you agree with her :) MIL would put cash in any card bless her.
Thanks again DS is doing citizenship drama and geography bless him.
Results day will be fun I have to take them both to pick them up plus go to the school I teach at to see their results :)