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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not pay the whole "voluntary contribution" amount?

35 replies

smokinaces · 17/05/2011 18:54

DS1 has come home with a letter about a trip to the seaside with the school. Its in the school day, if they dont go they have to go to Yr1 or Yr2 with work (he's in foundation) and bless him he was really upset as he thought he wouldnt be able to go as its £12.

AIBU to send in a contribution of £5 with his permission slip? I'm a low income, single working parent and £12 ontop of other various things like school photos is a bit of a push for me. It says voluntary contribution, but I understand trips cant happen without help - am I BU to send in £5 with a note explaining?

OP posts:

Fontsnob · 17/05/2011 18:56

Talk to the school, they might have a fund to help out.

thisisyesterday · 17/05/2011 18:56

yanbu
but he probably won't be able to go if you do it

if you can't afford it then you need to speak to the headteacher and see if they have a hardship fund or something. but ask them, please don't just send in a fiver

hulababy · 17/05/2011 18:56

Why don't you go in and speak to the teacher first?

GypsyMoth · 17/05/2011 18:56

yanbu at all!!

FabbyChic · 17/05/2011 18:57

Send in your voluntary contribution with a note detailing your circumstances.

Icelollycraving · 17/05/2011 19:01

Yanbu at all. I know someone who was on v low income after their husband lost his job. She explained to head,who waived the fee completely. It's a small school,but they have a fund put aside for this. Your contribution is very fair.

Triggles · 17/05/2011 19:03

I find it hard to believe that if it's entitled "voluntary contribution" that she is REQUIRED to pay the entire amount if she can't afford it. Hence the word voluntary. If it's NOT voluntary, then they should just call it a "fee" and get it over with. Ridiculous.

MaeMobley · 17/05/2011 19:04

I agree with Triggles.

GrimmaTheNome · 17/05/2011 19:05

Do talk to the school - they should have made it clearer what they mean by 'voluntary contribution'.

DDs school asks for contributions for trips - if its a really 'educational' one they make it clear that they want full participation and will subsidise if necessary, but for something like a zoo trip later this year, if they don't get sufficient voluntary contributions the trip will be cancelled. What they don't do is exclude individual kids if their parents can't pay.

TeamLemon · 17/05/2011 19:07

I don't think any child is allowed to be excluded on the basis of cost on a curriculum-based trip.
Your £5 would be appreciated, but do talk to the Head as every school has a small fund for this sort of situation.

MotherPanda · 17/05/2011 19:08

Heya, My mums a teacher and talks about this all the time. Of course you're right, if enough parents dont contribute then the trip cant happen, but they understand that some parents can't afford it which is why it is voluntary. If you just explain to the teacher about your circumstances then i'm sure its fine for you not to pay at all (there are hardship funds available etc if its just one pupil).

My mum says she only gets cross if parents apply for the hardship fund, but then send there kids to school in brand new NIKE trainers etc because it means parents who really need it miss out.

I think your offer of £5 is very generous and understanding.

PiousPrat · 17/05/2011 19:10

I don't know if this is standard everywhere, or just something that my LEA does, but DS2s secondary school has what they call a 'discretionary fund' for school trips. What happens is that the school gets a certain amount each year to go towards trips and extra curricular stuff for low income families and they work out how many kids in the school are on free school meals and allocate each child that amount. I don't know if the free school dinners is their choice of eligibility criteria or is imposed on them by the LEA but given that they don't really make it's existence public and it is a decent amount, I am sure there is spare left over each year that the school could allocate to your child even if they don't technically qualify.

For my sons school, it works out to £125 per qualifying child per year. They do a lot of big trips, like a week away doing outwards bounds stuff, but not that many smaller trips so I seriously doubt that every child who qualifies for that money uses it all. Most school letters i have ever seen about trips have a line at the bottom saying if you are having financial trouble, contact the school as they may be able to help. I am sure if there is anything they can do, they will. No decent school wants to see a child miss out on doing the fun stuff or the educational extras just because their family are having a financially rough time of it. Miserable kids don't make good learners and having a child singled out for being poor doesn't help anyone so they should do all they can to work with you.

Ask the school. It may well be that you don't have to pay any of it at all and could then use that fiver to give your DC for spending money for the day.

pozzled · 17/05/2011 19:13

The school are not allowed to exclude your child because of non-payment. Children should only stay in school if the parents don't give permission for them to attend.

Definitely talk to the teacher. A lot of schools will be able to subsidise in cases where it really is hard to find the money. Some will also add a little on to the amount so that there is enough to cover non-payers. The teacher will probably appreciate you talking to them, and ask you to send as much as you can realistically afford- or allow you more time to get the money together rather than sticking to the deadline given, if this would help.

Original poster

smokinaces · 17/05/2011 19:14

We have been explained that Grimma when he started - that trips are voluntary contributions, but obviously without enough contributions they may not be able to go ahead. It is an "educational" trip. The Head knows my circumstances (I use the after school club there, have lots of meetings about DS1 and they know I am a lone parent)

I dont want him to miss out completely. Think I will send in £5 with a note explaining, and say I will send in more if I can. The trip is 23rd June, yet money has to be in asap.

OP posts:

DollyTwat · 17/05/2011 19:16

Someone at my dc's school said you'd be surprised at the amount of people who ask to be excused fees for trips.

If you can give £5 I think you have a good enough case without feeling any guilt at all

Triggles · 17/05/2011 19:17

"My mum says she only gets cross if parents apply for the hardship fund, but then send there kids to school in brand new NIKE trainers etc because it means parents who really need it miss out."

This is rather judgemental, isn't it? Brand new NIKE trainers could have been a gift from a relative (grandparent, noncustodial parent) or a smart purchase in a discount/outlet shop, or perhaps secondhand passed to them by someone who bought them but gave them away as they didn't like the fit after wearing them a couple times. What people have and wear is simply not always an accurate way of knowing what their financial situation is.

Original poster

smokinaces · 17/05/2011 19:18

And they know how tight our budget is - DS1 lost his labelled school jumper so I got a £3 replacement from Asda, and he lost that - was nearly in tears at his teacher!

I'm not eligible for free school meals as I do work and claim WTC, but until I can up my hours (DS2 is at nursery 3 days a week, currently work 21) everything is kind of accounted for. I dont want to not contribute. And then I feel bad that I'm thinking of not sending in the whole £12, when maybe I could cut back somewhere else and find it all.

He's only in foundation - I have years of this guilt yet havent I?!!

OP posts:

GrimmaTheNome · 17/05/2011 19:18

That sounds absolutely fine . Hope he has a lovely day!

GrimmaTheNome · 17/05/2011 19:20

(sorry, that was to previous post - I meant sending £5 is fine!)

Triggles · 17/05/2011 19:21

smokinaces if you would like to and it makes you feel more comfortable about it, send your £5 and the note, and then sometime when/if you have a bit more cash handy, send it in to the headteacher with a note that as it is too late for the money to go to that particular trip, you would like it to reimburse the hardship fund.

but honestly - I wouldn't worry about it if I were you. That's what it's there for - people who are genuinely having difficulty. And you ARE making some contribution - many don't.

cricketballs · 17/05/2011 19:25

speak to the school; in every secondary school I have worked at there is a fund for helping students in these circumstances. The reason why a contribution is asked for is the sheer expense of coaches as it would wipe out a school budget within a matter of days

WobblyWidgetOnTheScooper · 17/05/2011 19:27

Yanbu at all, it's not like you're just thinking "oh I don't have to pay therefore I won't" - you're being really selfless giving the fiver IMO. :)

PeppaPigHonk · 17/05/2011 19:30

Just send in what you feel you can afford with a brief note.
Perfectly fine and all children attend the trips anyway which is as it should be.
Schools are communities so those who can afford to SHOULD pay and those that can't should still be on the trip.
Dead simple.

DorisIsAPinkDragon · 17/05/2011 19:30

I live in a 'nice' area and was shocked last time just how many parents 'forgot' to send the money in - some objected to the amount for the activity so refused, the ones who I know struggle (we are in a similar situation and we talk) sent in what they could afford. tbh I had far more respect for those than those that didn't bother at all.

(and yes @nice' area doesn't mean there aren't challenges at home with finances I know that (oh god do it know that!))

pinkhebe · 17/05/2011 19:33

I had to do this last week as dh was under the threat of redundancy and we didn't have the £30 for an activity day . I explained to the office who said to pay as much or as little as we could afford.

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